its been such a boring day...and our only day off this week too!!! i really want to get together with some of my friends that i don't usually see cause its not fair that i never get to see some of them even tho we live in the same city and all. weird...whenever i am really busy i just want to hang out and relax but whenever i am not busy i just wanna do something! but i really do like being busy all the time, i must say. i wish i had more siblings cause then there would always be something to do. actually, i just wish i had my driver's lisence!!! i don't see what the problem is, it's not like i'm a bad driver or anything. (maddie, don't say anything) i'm really not. still wondering what i'm gonna do this summer. we really must decide soon, i guess. *sigh* i haven't been this bored for ages. and restless too, but not just for school to get out. (if you don't know what i mean, just read what i wrote 3 posts ago) have i ever mentioned that my mom is already looking for colleges for me to go to, as if i were going this fall (of course, i'm not, so don't think that). sometimes she asks me what i want to do when i am older and what degree i want to get and where i want to go for college. (i'm getting a degree and probably a "boring" job cause, well, let's face it, dancers don't make any money. but of course i'll still be dancing with a company, in addition to having a job. even if i got what i wanted and was able to perform on broadway, that could always fall thru and i would get a job) the last thing i told my mom was that i wanted to get a business degree at USD. i will most likely change my mind before i go to college, but i was under the impression that she wanted to know what i wanted to do. i REALLY am NOT looking forward to college. in any way.

enough talk about the future!!! but there is really nothing to say about what i'm doing now. ttyl~

so i guess it's been quite a while since my last update..... don't know where to start...i've been pretty busy the past two weeks but i don't feel like writing all about it, so i'll just write what i want to. firstly, i hope everyone likes my new layout, maddie finally convinced me to get one and i found one i liked. this is kinda random, but...are any of you out there reading this star wars fanatics? i'm not but i think it is funny finding out who wants to go to the midnight showing. i probably won't see it tho cause i haven't even seen like the last two. and i don't like watching movies at midnight. but i always have thought it would be fun to dress up and do something like that for fun (not necessarily star wars, tho).

ok, here's my big complaint: i really wish i could do musical theater but i REALLY can't sing. i wish i had a really good voice SO bad. it hits me every so often. if i could sing i would honestly probably quit ballet and do musical theater, if i knew i could be good. i just want to know that i can be good at whatever i put a lot of time into, whether it's ballet or something else. i think i would really enjoy musical theater more. i mean, i would honestly, i would much rather watch it than ballet. i do enjoy ballet too, but i just isn't the same. i know that if i took voice lessons and worked really hard i might be able to have a decent voice, but i wouldn't just want to be doing chorus parts all my career. i just wasn't born with a really good voice, so there's nothing i can do to make it amazing now, right? and if a did want to do musical theater i probably should have started that instead of ballet, it would be too hard now. i'm really upset about all and i have been thinking about it the past few weeks. i wonder if there is something i could do. if there was i would have to do it now, right? i have been thinking about what i wanted to do and be when i'm older and this just keeps on coming up. of course i will go to college and get a normal job if i have to, but i really like performing and i just couldn't give it up for the rest of my life. i know this is way far fetched, but i would like nothing more than to be able to perform on broadway. i've known that i want to live in nyc when i'm older ever since i was like 10. it feels really good to get all of this out in words. i know some of you have already heard a lot of this lately.

i don't feel like writing anymore right now. maybe i'll update more later.