Currently Reading All Quiet on the Western Front By Erich Maria Remarque see related

This looked fun so I stole it from Jo's eljay.

L A Y E R O N E

Name: Dani
Birth date: 6 May 1987                                                                               

Birthplace: Lansing, Mi
Currently a resident of: Allendale, MI
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Blonde
Height: 5'8" -5'9" ish
Righty or Lefty: Righty, the only way to be!
Zodiac Sign: Taurus

L A Y E R T W O

The shoes you wore today: White Converse a la H.S. Thompson
Your weakness: I can't make decisions.
Your fears: Growing up.  Failure.                                                                                                Your perfect pizza: Spinach pizza                                                                                                Goal(s) you'd like to achieve: I just want to be happy.

L A Y E R T H R E E

Your most overused phrase: "You know what I hate/makes me mad...?"                                       Your thoughts first waking up: " Shit!  I'm running late.
Your best physical feature(s): Hair, eyes, nose, lips, boobs, legs, arms, etc...                                                                                                                                                        Your bedtime: It changes often                                                                                                       Your most missed memory: Summer...

L A Y E R F O U R

Pepsi or Coke: Eew pop, gross                                                                                         McDonald's or Burger King: McDonald's                                                                      Adidas or Nike: Nike
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: I prefer Earl Grey                                                                 Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or coffee: Coffee

L A Y E R F I V E

Smoke: More than I should                                                                             Cuss: Yes                                                                                                                                             Sing: When I'm alone or in the kitchen
Take a shower everyday: Eh, for the most part.  It all balances out in the end.                     Have a crush(es): Maybe!
Do you think you've been in love: I don't even know if I believe in love.
Want to go to college: Apparently!
Want to get married: Most definitely.                                                                                      Believe in yourself: From time to time.                                                                                             Get motion sickness: Not usually.
Think you're attractive: Occasionally.  Not lately though.
Think you're a health freak: Occasionally.  Not lately though.
Get along with your parent(s): The half I still talk to.
Like thunderstorms: Yes
Play an instrument: I know how to play guitar, bass, clarinet, sax, and keyboard/piano.

L A Y E R S I X

In the past month...

Drank alcohol: Yes.
Smoked: Yes.
Had Sex: Yes                                                                                                                                  Made Out: Yes.
Gone on a date: You could call it that I guess.
Gone to the mall?: Yes.
Eaten sushi: Nope.
Been on stage: Yes.                                                                                                                           Been dumped: Nope                                                                                                                          Gone skating: Nope
Made homemade cookies: No.
Gone skinny dipping: No.
Stolen anything: No.

L A Y E R S E V E N

Ever...

Played a game that required removal of clothing:
If so, was it mixed company: -                                                                                                           Been caught "doing something": What KIND of something?                                                                       Been called a tease: Only in jest.                                                                                                 Gotten beaten up: No.
Shoplifted: No, I'm a good kid.

L A Y E R E I G H T

Age you hoping to be married: Sometime in my 20s
Numbers and Names of Children: Three kids, but don't worry about the names.
How do you want to die: I want to be ate by a dragon.
Where you want to go to college: Grand Valley is doing me just fine.
What place would you most like to visit: Shoot, I dunno.

L A Y E R N I N E

Best eye color: Brown maybe?  Green?  Just not gray.                                                          Best hair color: Brown or black.                                                                                                     Short or long hair for guys? Depends on the person.
Height: 6'1" works well.
Best weight: 327
Best articles of clothing: None!

L A Y E R T E N

Number of drugs taken illegally: Just the one I think.                                                         Number of people I could trust with my life: 2 or 3
Number of CDs that I own: I don't know for sure.  Pushing 500 possibly.
Number of piercings: Only the two.  Well, maybe the lip hasn't healed completely.
Number of tattoos: No thanks.
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: Not sure.  A fair amount.
Number of scars on my body: Eh, quite a few. 
Number of things in my past that I regret: I don't really regret anything. 

Well THAT was refreshing.

Currently Listening Oh, Inverted World By The Shins see related

Steve (3:56:08 AM): would it be weird if i told you i already miss you?

When I have messages like that when I wake up in the morning, I know that life is going just swimmingly.

I was talking to Carlos about this.  Everything is finally looking up.  Everything is okay.  Even though I still kinda worry about the future and whether I'm actually going to be able to find my "true calling" or whatever you want to call it, I still know that I have a lot of people who will help make sure that everything ultimately turns out for the best. 

Right now I feel just about right.  There's nothing missing.  There's nothing on overload.  Just equilibrium.  Very very comforting.  And quite new!

Sometimes I feel a slight confusion where I'm not really sure if I am where I'm supposed to be.  This mostly has to do with the fact that I have recently rid myself of a handful of people who were, for a long time, very inherent forces in my life.  Once in a while I feel a sudden pang where I think they should be present again.  More than likely, I just need my subconscience to realize that I am at a new stage and that the old stage is no longer relevant. 

Okay the end! 

CARLOS-

I should really be showering right now instead, but oh well.  After reading what you were thinking about, Carlos, I decided to put in here exactly what I've been thinking about...stuff.  Kind of this whole change business, but not completely.

It is pretty unsettling how much we're changing.  Ideals, feelings, opinions, goals, expectations.  They've all changed.  Some aspects more than others. 

Last Sunday night (/Monday morning) when you called me and I explained things as "weird", I didn't really tell you why exactly I was thinking that.  I don't know why.  But, for the past however many years, there has been that big decision hanging over mine (much like everyone else's) head.  What to wait for?  Love?  Marriage?  Comfort?  Drunken stupor?  You get the idea.  My opinion on the matter changed many times throughout my life.  Well, two or three.  I think that I just found it unsettling when I realized that that decision is now gone.  No more thinking, deciding, or contemplating.  Not that I was regretting my decision in any way, just that it was weird suddenly not having any option.  It was like it was out of my control, even though it was completely in my control the whole time.  So...it seemed weird.  Does that even make sense?   

Now onto something that is just part of what I would normally talk about in here...

Last night I got dinner with Nina, one of my older sisters.  It was just the two of us and we were just having girltalk and it was cute.  She asked me about Steve and, for what I think was the first time, I managed to put into words exactly what I think about the whole situation.  (No, not the "situation", just Steve in general.) 

Last week when I was shopping with my mom, she was talking about how he just seems to be content with the simple lifestyle where he doesn't feel the need for anything beyond necessity.  We also discussed his not-actually-schooling and, although I would never discuss this with mother, I was thinking in my head about his whole...yeah, you know.  In the end I said, "I know, mom, he's a loser, but he's a good guy."  Mom just said something along the lines of, "I'm not saying he isn't.  I like Steve.  He's funny.  Just don't marry him."

Well, I was kind of confused for a little while, and nothing was really settling quite right with me.  (That seems to be the theme of my life right now -- "unsettlement".) 

But, last night, when talking to Nina, and trying to describe what Steve is "like" (that was the question -- that's a vague question to answer), I said, "Well, he's kind of a loser...he's a pothead and he doesn't really go to school.  But he works a LOT?"  Then Nina asked, "But is he good to you."  Then I couldn't help but smile and say, "Yes, he's an extremely good guy."  Then I explained to her that right now, I would rather have a guy who is just there for me and not too caught up in his goals to really pay attention to much else.  Besides, who cares if Steve doesn't have a lifeplan yet?  It's not like I do either.  The only difference is in how we're going about figuring that out.  Especially right now, I feel like I need Steve's upbeat, "the world is a happy place and I'm glad I'm living in it because I have everything I want or need" demeanor to balance out my natural pessimism and "the world is out to get me" attitude. 

Now I REALLY need to take a shower because my parents are almost here. 

BUT

I'm going to explain one more thing real quick.

The other night, when Steve and I were playing the question game online, I posed the question of "biggest fear?  (not phobia, fear)".  Then I accidentally put even more thoughts into perspective.  I answered that I have increasingly become scared of growing up.  Just plain growing up.  The more it happens, the lonelier and more confused I get AND the world seems. 

Okay, shower, for real. 

Currently Listening We Laugh Indoors By Death Cab for Cutie see related

Oh my, what a waste of time.

1. Your name spelled backwards. Inad
2. Where were your parents born? Mid-Michigan
3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? An email attachment, I'm guessing
4. What's your favorite restaurant? Meh, I'm not really sure.
5. Last time you swam in a pool? I don't even remember.  Probably one time at Sammy's.
6. Have you ever been in a school play? No, but I (student) directed one bitch.
7. How many kids do you want? Three
8. Type of music you dislike most? Muzak?  World music.  None of that diversity bullshit for me.

9. Are you registered to vote? No.
10. Do you have a car? Yup.
11. Have you ever ridden on a moped? No.
12. Ever prank call anybody? Probably.  Or at least attempted to.
13. Ever get a parking ticket? Nay
14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? Possibly.  If given the oppurtunity.
16. Do you have a garden? Not really, but there are a lot of herbs hanging about my at home house.
17. What's the size of your bed? Twin...only longer?
18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? Probably.
19. Bath or Shower, morning or night? Shower.  Usually morning.
20. Best Movie You've seen in the Last 4 months? The last one I went and saw was "Just Like Heaven" so, whatev, I'll just say that one. 
21. What's the next movie you want to see? SUPER excited for "Elizabethtown".  Cameron Crowe what?

22. Chips or popcorn? I'm not much for either. 
23. Have you ever broken any hearts? Possibly
25. Are you a good cook? I sure as hell try!
26. Orange or Apple juice? Orange
28. Favorite type of drink? Iced tea.
29. Best thing in the world? Not too long ago I claimed that Mystro is.
30. Have you ever broken a bone? Yes.  But it was only a finger or two, so it doesn't REALLY count
31. Have you ever won a trophy? Yes.  Debate what?
32. What is your favorite board game? CLUE!
33. What is your dream car? I like MINIs I guess.
34. Ever order an article from an infomercial? Hecks naw.
35. Coke or Pepsi? Ugh, pop.
36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work? Yes. 
37. Last thing you bought from a pharmacy? Nail polish.
38. Who are you going to marry? Who AREN'T I going to marry?
39. Who would you like to meet? Tucker Carlson
40. Do you believe in love at first sight? Not FIRST first sight.  But...slightly later sight?
41. What features do you find most attractive in the opposite sex? This is the part where I refrain from saying something inappropriate
42. Where would you go for a romantic evening? Not sure
43. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 60ish
44. Last song stuck in your head? Some random disco song I heard on the tv
45. Any pets? J'ai beacoup des animaux domestique
46. What's your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character? I haven't watched SNL in sooooo long.   I don't know.
47. What is one thing you would like to learn to do? Not fail at everything in general
48. What do you do when you are bored? Talk to people online.  Check things like eljay, xanga, and facebook.
49. What is one thing you would want someone to appreciate about you? Nothing I do/say/think makes sense to anyone but me.
50. What is one thing you are grateful for today? Sleeping.

Your Birthday: 6 May
Your Age Now: 18
Your Location: Allendale, MI
School Grade: College Freshman
School Name: Grand Valley State University
Sex: Female
Siblings: Not really.  Even though now I can say that I have forty some sisters.
YOUR LOOKS:
Hair Color: Blonde with a little bit of red
Eye: Blue
Height: 5'8"-9" ish

Do you care about the way you look? Yes, but sometimes I'm lazy anyways.
Do you like your hair? The red is faded and I want it long again, but it's pretty okay
Do you get tan? I try not to.  SPF50 is liberally applied throughout the summer months.
Do you have big ears? I don't believe so.
Do you have contacts or glasses? Glasses
Do you have braces? No.
Do you rank your speed dial in order of your favorite friends: I do not use this feature
Who do you e-mail the most? I don't think anyone sticks out more than any others
Who knows ALL your secrets? These days, I would say everyone.  But, seriously, Carlos or Stacey
Who did you get this survey from? Eva
Do your friends 'know' you? I'm going to have to go with "yes" on this one...
Are there traits in you that are universally liked? If awesome is a trait!
How many people do you tell everything to? Two?
How many people tell you everything? A few

THIS OR THAT:
Deaf or Blind: What a thing to pick!
Truth or Dare: Truth
Night or Day: Night
Ocean or Pool: Depends on what's more convenient
Diamonds or Pearls: Diamonds
Croutons or Bacon bits: Croutons?

EITHER/OR:
Coffee or hot chocolate? Coffee
New or old? What are we talking about here?
Sweater or sweatshirt? Sweatshirt
Pencil or pen? Pen
T-shirt or tank top? T shirt
Stripes or solid? Does it matter?
Wool or cotton? Cotton
Rose or Lily? I have a rose in my vase RIGHT NOW
Private school or public school? Public school represent (???)
Chocolate milk or plain milk? Chocolate
Spring or Fall? Fall
History or Science? History.

IN THE PAST 2 WEEKS, HAVE YOU:
Cried? Yes.
Bought something? Yes.
Not known the answer in class? Oh yes.
Been mean? Probably
Been sarcastic? Yes.
Gone for a walk? Yes.
Gone out for dinner? Yes
Met someone new? LOTS of new people.
Said "I love you"? Yes.
Taken a test? Ugh
Talked to an ex? No
Missed an ex? No
Written in a journal? Yes

HAVE YOU EVER:
Been in a quiet room and screamed so there would be noise: I'm not CRAZY
Left The Country? Sort of, but I still say Canada doesn't count
Taken Any Illegal Substances? Yes
Gone out in your pajamas? Yes
Set Yourself Or A Body Part On Fire? Once again, I'm not CRAZY
Started dancing when there was no music? Ah, too many times
Pretended you were an opera singer? I think so, yes
Kept a secret from everyone? Yes
Actually thrown shoes onto a phone wire? WTF? No.
Crashed into a wall in public? No
Ever Cried At A "CHICK FLICK"?  Ugh, yes. 
Had A Crush On A Teacher? No.
Done Something Stupid To Impress Your Crush? No.
Laughed so hard you cried? All of the time
Found a cartoon character attractive? Oh man, those Disney men...
At anytime owned a "New Kids On The Block" tape? Nope
Called or seen a psychic? Nope
Gotten In A Car Accident? Nope
Fallen down the stairs? Yes
Seen The Eiffel Tower? No
Went bungee jumping? No
Broken the law? Perhaps
Ran from the cops? Nope
Stolen something? Nope

Made yourself throw up? No
Went skinny dipping? No.
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: No.
Watched "Punky Brewster": No.
Stayed home on a Saturday night just because? Yes

FAVORITES:
Shampoo: Pantene Pro-V blonde
Conditioner: (See Above)
Perfume/Body Splash/Cologne: Lacoste Pink
Color: Pink
Bands/Singers: RHCP, Incubus, Alkaline Trio, and others of the like, or not so like
Commercial: I think I saw one that I kinda liked yesterday.  But now I can't back this up at all
Candy: Ugh, I don't want to think about it right now
TV Show:  21 Jumpstreet, Welcome Back Kotter, etc...
Movie: Right now I'll say "Almost Famous"
English/History/Math: History
Radio station: Oldies whatever the hell it is up here

WHICH:
Cold or Hot: Cold
>Lace or Satin: I read that as "Latin".  I guess satin?  I don't know
>Here or There: WTF.
>Red or Blue: Red

MORE QUESTIONS:
What are you listening to right now? Someone in Frey is laughing loudly.
What time is it? 12:29
What do you sleep in? Underwear
Do you shave? I'm usually fanatical about it
What kind of shoes do you wear? Mostly Converse
Who is the last person you called? My mommy
What is your favorite type of music? punk/ska/jazz/alternative/oldies/classic rock/hard rock/rap/alt-country in moderation/blues/you know, the usual.
What is your favorite song at this very moment? That one Rise Against song.
What is the worst song you have ever heard? I hate a LOT of songs.
Do you play an instrument? I own and have some sort of training in clarinet, keyboard, guitar, bass guitar, and saxophone.  Oh yeah, don't forget the recorder.

OTHER STUFF:
How long is your hair? Not long enough
What is your favorite soft drink? I don't drink those.
Are you easy to get along with? I think so, yes.
Are you helpful or lazy? Usually helpful to other people.  Lazy on my own terms and my parent's
Do you write in blue or black ink? Black
Do you circle the dots on your "i"s? Nope

RIGHT NOW WHAT ARE YOU:
Wearing? Levi's and the H-Town Posse shirt I was wearing in bed
Thinking of? Failing science.  Missing the boy.  Liking my new sisters.
Feeling? Exhausted

LAST THING YOU:
Bought? A bagel
Did? Took a CJ quiz
Drank? Water
Watched on tv? The news

EITHER / OR:
High achiever or easy-going?  I SHOULD be the first.
Gloves or mittens? Glittens/moves
Cassette or cd? I like Chippy
Matches or a lighter? Lighter.  I can never ligth matches.
Rickie Lake or Oprah Winfrey? I don't enjoy either of them, but I guess Oprah

LAST PERSON YOU:
Touched? Laura
Hugged? Probably my ruby sis, Rachael
Instant messaged? Carlos

Do you have a weird nickname? Not currently, no
Do you shop at stores like Hot Topic? I shop at all stores
Do you make your own clothes (bondage pants, etc)? I grew out of that and became lazy
Do you paint your nails black? Oh my...those crazy angsty early teen years.

FASHION:
Do you wear a watch? Yes.  I wear many different ones
How many coats and jackets do you own? EXACTLY?  Probably...I don't know.  40 may be a good estimate
Favorite pants/skirt color? Does it matter?
Most expensive item of clothing in your closet? Probably one of my winter coats.  Or basketball shoes.  Those bitches are expensive.
Describe your style in one word: Hott.