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| Distressing Things
I AM SICK.
I think I have mastitis and let me tell you my left breast hurts like a bugger. I also am achy in all my joints, especially my back and wrists and hips. Yesterday I had a temperature (100.2) and it seems better today but I still feel like Poo On A Stick. I am chilled and goose-bumpy and too hot at the same time. Luckily, though, on the NOT distressing things side of life, I have the most fantastic husband ever who had pity on me last night and let me sleep almost all night - he did the 11PM and 6:30AM feedings and just brought Ash to me at 4AM (which I needed to relieve built-up milk pressure in my poor abused milk sacs).
But Oh, My Lord, my breast hurts. Eowyn leaned up against me while I was reading to her yesterday and I almost screamed. Letdown is flirting with the edge of excruciating. I FELL DOWN THE STAIRS (okay, just the last stair, slipped and landed on my bum) this morning because I am just not very coordinated right now because I am in pain.
And the problem with my job is that I really can't call in sick to work.
EVEN WORSE.
I saw a cockroach on my kitchen table the day before yesterday and one on my ottoman yesterday. I almost don't want to talk about it because it is so disgusting and it makes me feel DIRTY, which is one step above mass murderer the way I was raised. Yuck yuck yuck yuck YUCK.
MOVING ON (BACK, ACTUALLY)
We were at a family reunion last weekend - Joel's mom's family. It was the longest drive we have ever taken with our children - a FIVE HOUR DRIVE to Quartz Mountain Resort in southwest Oklahoma. It got a little hairy the last 1.5 hours with Ash - he needed to nurse three times (thus three roadside stops) before we got there. Very hard on a person (me) who hates stopping when traveling! I'm more of a Get There kinda girl instead of Enjoy The Trip. I don't ever Enjoy The Trip, unless it's really fast.
It was fun to see the family and they quite enjoyed our children. Besides just being generally delightful (ha ha, or so I think!), Eowyn and Ash are the only little ones in the family. None of Joel's cousins have had any kids yet. The reunion is every other July so none of the aunts, uncles, great aunts and great uncles had even seen Eowyn yet - Ash was just a bonus! Eowyn ran shrieking with joy around the meeting room and there were lots of fond looks (hopefully I can tell the difference between fond and irritated...).
We didn't get a lot of sleep, though. Eowyn was almost frantic with tiredness by 3PM Saturday afternoon. She told me she wanted to go to sleep (yes, I am not joking, she really said, "My blanket, my blanket, I want to sleep, I want to sleep" over and and over again and nearly wouldn't let my father-in-law get her pack and play set up because she wanted to get IN it immediately and lay down. That girl likes her sleep!). So luckily the drive back was more pleasant because 1) it was during nap time instead of morning awake time and 2) both children were pretty tired:
Attempting To Sleep
(We're Both Faking It - A Valiant Attempt!)
 Portrait of A Peaceful Drive
 Better not push my luck. I will say goodbye (did you know that goodbye is spelled "goodby" in all the old children's books we have? When did that change?) and wish you all a mastitis-free day.
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| God Bless Sleeping Children
Both children went to sleep at 2PM and are STILL napping (for a few more moments, anyway).
I have:
- Mowed the front yard
- Mowed the back yard
- Worked out (and stretched!!)
- Pumped
- Showered
- And here I am!
"There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him
asleep."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Snippets
So so tired. Very busy weekend with lots of family, no sleeping in (in fact,
quite the opposite) and no naps. More coffee please!...
Some random thoughts from this last week:
From a slightly crazed, continually sleep-deprived mind: "Why go to sleep? I can't ever get enough sleep
to not be tired so why not just stay up and get things done?"
(Warning from past experience: this isn't as effective as it seems to be.)
Do I Look Crazy? Maybe Don't Answer That...
My mother's brilliance:
"When each child is born, a woman should grow
another arm. Two kids? Four arms! Wouldn't that make life easier?"
(Why
can't evolution keep up with our innovative capacity?? I think this is an
awesome idea. As long as the extra arm falls off around the kid's 6th
birthday. It would certainly complicate clothes-wearing during an already
complex body time - post-partem belly, giant lactating bosoms - but it would be
so much easier to hold the baby and make dinner! And it wouldn't look
nearly as creepy if it happened to everyone.)
 Two Well-Used Arms
My Father's Observation on Relativity: "When you pick up Eowyn, it feels like she is made out of feathers. Ash feels like he is made out of lead."  The Little Leaden BoyBaby Marks: I love the squashy little ear-prints on my upper arm
that I find after nursing Ash. LOVE THEM.
  Precious Little Man
Who's Handicapped?
It kind of makes me mad as I trek onward from
some godforsaken corner of a parking lot while herding a toddler, lugging an
infant in a car seat in one arm, and carrying a diaper bag, a purse and usually
some destination-appropriate item precariously attached to various otherwise
uncommitted portions of my anatomy to see large, conveniently
empty handicapped spots taunting me from their ideal location a brief
toddler's walk from my intended target. (Pre-babies I never minded walking
long distances to stores, etc. In fact, I would park far away for the
exercise. I didn't even mind it with just Eowyn. Now, though...)
 Two Dispossessed Oldest Children Their Handicap? New Babies
(Chaz has a 2 week old sister and he's not real keen... Again, from a 2 year old's perspective, what's to like about an infant??) Beautiful Wicked Stepmothers:
Eowyn has a new book with the story of Hansel and Gretel and the pictures of the wicked stepmother show her to be a pendulous-breasted weedy hag and I thought, No ugly woman could get a man to abandon his children. I'm pretty sure (ha ha) she was probably gorgeous and held sway over the foolish woodcutter father with sexual favors.
 No Evil Stepmothers or Wicked Witches,
Just Jealous Sisters Here...  ...But She Wouldn't Hurt A Fly!  THIS Daddy Would Never Abandon His Babies In The Woods  Hey Little Man!
Baby's crying, must chug remaining coffee to shock brain to wakeful state. Better go. Have a great week!
EDIT: WHY am I so much less tired when my children are asleep? Why does the exhaustion return the instant I hear one of them squawk awake? A mystery for the ages, I'm sure.
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| Eowyn Speaks
A brief conversation from yesterday:
Eowyn: I don' yike dat baby.
Mommy: What baby? This baby? (pointing to innocent, sweet baby Ash peacefully kicking on the ottoman)
Eowyn: (satisfied to have clearly identified the problem) I don' yike dis baby.
 Dis Baby Should Dis Baby Be Scared? 
Ow! That's My Ear!
 Making Nice And Sharing Miss Kitty
This is a hard time for Miss Eowyn. She has been pulling out all her toys and informing me, "Dis is my toy. (Long pause) Not Baby Ash's".
But she's learning some important lessons (namely, her place in the world and how to entertain herself) that will make her a better, happier, more grateful adult. I keep telling myself this when she screams and cries and makes horrible noises. I am happy to report, though, that her angry/frustrated incidences are diminishing in frequency, if not in volume. She is a fast learner.
I think Eowyn's most distressing time is when I am nursing Ash. This is when she imperiously demands "Mommy, Read book!". As it is clearly a control issue for her (as in, will Mommy still do what I want even though Mommy is obsessed with this interloper?), I try to comply. I am getting really good holding Ash with one arm and at holding a book and turning pages with the other!
No matter her emotional issues, outwardly, my girl remains ridiculously cute!
  Happy Times Are Here!One question: When was the last time you were this comfortable laying on the floor? I distinctly remember a time when the floor was a perfectly acceptable place to enjoy a sunny afternoon. For me, the floor remained a cozy haven probably all the way through college. Then I became an old married lady with some dignity... Or not!
  As Comfortable As A Puppy
And that girl does like her bath, especially the bubbles. I am not sure of the nutritive qualities of soap suds, but Eowyn thinks they are quite a treat!
 
Mmm! So Goooood! Dey Are Yummy!
Oh, yeah, I mentioned how much she likes laying on the floor, right?
Mommy's Gonna Get You!
Proof of our eco-friendly cloth diapering habits below. God bless the snappi!   Giant Cloth Diapers & A Cute Little Belly Button!And how did we spend our 4th of July? It was the first time I have not been at Trail Ride Family Camp in my life (not counting when I was 6 months old, of course). Kind of strange to miss it all, to miss all the family, the sunburns, the inevitable cracked lip and the sleep deprivation... Oh, wait, I do get to experience the sleep deprivation in my own home! And I experience the smell of the outhouses after a week of heavy use every time I move diapers from the pail to the washer! So Trail Ride Lives On in my heart. Next year we'll be there, I promise!
Oh, yeah, we got to spend the 4th at a friend's parents' home. Pool time, hot dogs & watermelon, good times all around! We left before it got dark enough to really get the fireworks going (it was past E's bedtime, but we left more for my sake than hers!), but we were treated to a whole evening of incendiary bliss when we got home thanks to those crazy kids across the street!
My Water Babies!
 That Ash Knows How To Keep A Party Lively!
Well, I'm sure I have more to say, but I had to type part of this one-handed because Ash would not go to sleep this morning without being held (thus my shoulder hurts!) and I have been ignoring Eowyn and her poopy diaper quite long enough.
Future topics of discussion: Working out, Extra Arms.
I leave you with a few pictures of my son:
 Look At Those Meaty Arms!  How We Spend Half Our Day(Eowyn & a book are on the other side of me...)
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| Yesterday
Was an eventful day at our house!
The First Exciting Event: Pumped About Pumping
Pumping Round 1
Background: Last time around I decided I would pump breast milk for Eowyn to eat while I was teaching.
My Strategy: I would try and nurse Eowyn at night on mostly one side and the that morning pump the less-used boob.
Results: I would spend about 20 minutes with lots of massaging and kneading to end up eeking out around 1.5 to maybe 3 oz on a really really good day. This was immensely frustrating and generally annoying, especially when I have friends who were supposedly pumping like 30 oz a day.
After Round 1, I decided No Way was I going to do that again. But I have been making milk like crazy - my sweet boy will almost choke on it if I let down while he's nursing! And Ash slept until almost 4AM yesterday morning and was so sleepy he only nursed one side, so the un-nursed breast was painfully full by 7AM. Both breasts were pretty full all day and since my in-laws were here helping out for the day, I decided, what the heck, let's see what happens, bringing me to:
Pumping Round 2
This time: Yesterday around mid-afternoon I spent about 5 minutes pumping each breast and, easy-breezy, got a total of FIVE OUNCES!! Wow! No massaging milk glands or making any special effort! And milk was (for me anyway) gushing out the entire time. I even had some letdown while I was pumping, which never happened with Pumping Round One! During Round One, my boobs were like, What? This isn't a baby. This time they are incorrigible milk makers. It was awesome. I felt so triumphant! I am woman! See me lactate
!
I froze that 5 oz and pulled out the paltry few bags of breast milk left over from Round One. I am not sure what to do with them. They represent a lot of effort and I feel they should be consumed, but by who? I kind of want to taste it, but feel like that is weirdly cannibalistic...
The Second Exciting Event: Detached!
Ash's umbilical cord finally fell off! Yeah, it only took almost 5 weeks and 2 packages of disposable diapers. How fun to see his little belly button! How satisfying to cover it and his little bum up with cloth diapers! Both my babies are finally EcoBabies.
The Third Exciting Event: New Diapers!
I love the internet. Especially when it
comes to shopping. For a person who hates real-time on-location shopping and loves getting packages in the mail, online ordering is one of the mos enjoyable ways to spend time and money.
In the last few weeks I have ordered:
- Shoes from Teva (a pair of clogs and a
replacement for my very very very favorite flipflops)
- A book from Amazon called The Best Of Life that was published in 1970-something that my
gramma owns that I’ve always wanted
- 3 nursing sports bras from Target – hope they
come soon, because these rotten normal bras I have from Motherhood Maternity
(largest selection of low-quality, high-priced pregnancy and nursing apparel
available!) are crap. But they’re all I’ve got, so I wait for these sports bras
from Target with great eagerness
- Cloth diapers from Green Mountain Diapers. These
are by far my favorite cloth diapers. I ordered another dozen of some mid-sized diapers for Eowyn, since the ones she was in were still technically the “infant” size. Ha
ha! Anyway, they arrived in all their yellow-edged glory yesterday. So now Ash will be in her old diapers (and in her old diaper covers, some of which have pink polka-dots. I like a man who is confident enough to boldly wear pink!) and she has nice fluffy new diapers that fit just perfectly under her plastic pants. If I'm lucky, we won't be using these long, as she has started taking her dolls and stuffed animals into the bathroom to go "poopy in the potty". Perhaps this will translate into HER going poopy in the potty, as toddler poo is pretty noxious.
The Fourth Exciting Event: Procrastination Pays Off
I am normally not a procrastinator. Ask my husband. I don't like procrastination. I don't like being lazy. I hate putting things off because undone tasks just hover at the edge of my thoughts, poking and prodding me and generally driving me crazy until they are Done and Put To Rest and I can Move On.
But yesterday at playgroup, a very very helpful friend reminded me of these fancy little swaddling blankets you can buy that are basically baby straitjackets and really keep uncoordinated little arms clamped down to maintain a somnolent state. I remembered we got a few for Eowyn and never used them, even though I swaddled her until she was almost 9 months old. The thing is, though, Ash is so big and so strong and so squirmy, I can't get him in a tight enough swaddle to really restrain his arms for very long.
So once I got home from playgroup I went in search of the magic swaddle blankets. Then I remembered in a fit of cleaning I'd put them in a pile of stuff to donate to Salvation Army/Goodwill/whatever a few months ago. Due to my semi-homebound state, this pile still resides in my house, slowly accumulating things as I go through closets and corners in preparation for moving (which is currently planned for September 15th-ish, by the way). I dug through the bags and, wonder of wonders, the Swaddle Me blankets were still there! So Ash got to wear a little baby straitjacket last night. And once again, the boy looks good in pink. 
The Fifth Exciting Event: Pictures!
I haven't had much time to take pictures of Ash, but yesterday afforded a rare opportunity, so here you go!
 Pre-Detachment   The Entire Child  Don't You Just Want To Snuggle Him?  A Little Grin - And Is That Blond Hair I See?
 Mommy, That Flash Is BRIGHT!  A Kiss And A Wave Bye-Bye!
And a note on Today:
This has been the most productive nap time ever! Both children went to sleep around the same time, so I rushed downstairs and folded the load of laundry in the dryer and then jumped on the exercise bike for 25 minutes. Then I dashed outside to mow the backyard (and even got to weed-eat!) and now I just wrote a whole blog! Hooray!
This morning I managed to take both children with me for my 6 week post-partem appointment with my OB. No one cried and I even got my annual pap done while I was there and in the stirrups! Triumph again!
I also resized some Eowyn pictures along with those of Ash. She has a few new items of clothing that she likes, so I will leave you with these and run take a quick shower and change into less sweaty clothing before my sleeping beauties awake.
 New Boots from Nana
(These are her shoes of choice, when given one)
 Tutu from Katkat(She danced around last night in this and told us she was a ballerina.
Also, I must mention that I love chubby toddler legs - they are just beautiful!)
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