|
| Today was not a good day.I went to bed at 9:30 AM after being up all night. I woke up sometime in the afternoon because I was in my hoodie and I got too hot. I remember throwing it off and I must have gone back to sleep immediately after. I woke up again around 8:30 PM but didn't see getting out of bed as worthy of doing. Eventually around 9:30 I decided to get up and do something - even if it was just flipping on the computer and messing around on the Internet. What else is there to do this late at night, other than gulp water and contemplate the suckiness of one's own life? | | |
| I realized that I hadn't updated this thing in forever....Although it doesn't matter 'cause no one reads it, haha. Anyway, man, I can't believe summer's almost over. I'm not going back to school, but all my friends are going off to college. It's gonna be so lonely around here. Oh well, I guess I'll find something to occupy my time. Maybe I'll just sit around and crochet sweaters for my cats. (Just kidding. I'm not that demented, at least not yet.) I just got back from trying to take some pictures. The only two pics I got suck and then my battery died, so I guess I can't get more until I can replace the batteries. I have batteries around here somewhere....but I really don't feel like looking for them right now. I've been up all night. Went for a run. I'm so glad I'm getting back into running. It gives me something to do, and I'd forgotten how much FOCUS I have when I'm running. It's the only thing that matters. I block out everything and the only thing that matters is the music blasting in my ears (it was "Duality" by Slipknot today) and the steps I'm making on the blacktop. It feels so awesome. Well that's all for now. Hopefully next time I update (whenever that may be) I'll have something more exciting to talk about. | | |
| No intro. No explanation. If YOU would happen to see this, you'll know it's for you.
"Cold" by Crossfade
Looking back at me I see that I never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you
I'm always wrapped up in things I cannot win
You are the antidote that gets me by
Something strong like a drug that gets me high....
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so....
Cold to you
I'm sorry about all the lies
Maybe in a different light
You can see me stand on my own again
'Cause now I can see
You are the antidote that got me by
Something strong like a drug that got me high....
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me there's just no hope
I never meant to be so cold
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way
I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way
I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold....
| | |
| Another....I found another song that makes me think of you. Who knows? Maybe one day I'll get lucky and you'll find your way here.
"Somewhere Out There" by Our Lady Peace
Last time I talked to you
You were lonely and out of place
You were looking down on me
Lost out in space
Laid underneath the stars
Strung out and feeling brave
Watch the riddles glow
Watch them float away
Down here in the atmosphere
Garbage and city lights
You gotta save your tired soul
You gotta save our lives
I turned on the radio
To find you on satellite
I'm waiting for the sky to fall
I'm waiting for a sign
And all we are
Is oh so far
You're falling back to me
The star that I can't see
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
Hope you remember me
When you're homesick and need a change
I miss your purple hair
I miss the way you taste
I know you'll come back someday
On a bed of nails awake
I'm praying that you don't burn out
Or fade away
And all we are
Is oh so far
You're falling back to me
The star that I can't see
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling back to me
The star that I can't see
I know you're out there
Oh
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling back to me
The star that I can't see
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling back to me
I know
I know
You're falling out of reach
I know...
| | |
| There's a good chance you don't read this....I need to get this out. So as cheesy as this may be, I'm writing a letter to you here.
Dear You,
I know things have been shitty between us lately. We barely talk anymore and I want you to know that I do miss you and I do care about you. A LOT.
I FUCKING LOVE YOU.
Just because I was going through a lot of shit didn't give me a right to isolate myself from the world, including you, and it didn't give me a right to lie and say nothing was up when in fact something was up, even though it didn't have anything to do with you. It was my shit. I went reckless and isolated myself from anyone who would be willing to save me if they knew the truth - including you.
You're one of the best friends I ever could have asked for, you listen to me and let me talk about my hopes and dreams and you don't make me feel retarded for it. I want us to talk again, like we used to. I want us to be friends again. We've been down for each other for too many years to let it all go now, and I love you so much. I don't know why I can't bring myself to just tell you that - that I love you and want to be with you.
I love you so much. And, even though you most likely don't read my Xanga blog, I want you to know that the offer (you know what I'm talking about) is still on the table. I still want to, because I still love you.
Love,
Me
OK, that said, here are some lyrics to a song that I know you can appreciate because you like the artist. Give me another chance, even though I know you've given me plenty - I swear I'll do it right this time around. I hope you can read between the lines, even if the song is somewhat aggressive, and know that I love you.
"It's Not Over" by Daughtry
I was blown away
What could I say?
It all seemed to make sense
You've taken away
Everything
And I can't deal with that
I try to see the good in life
But good things in life are hard to find
Well blow it away
Blow it away
Can we make this something good
When I try to do it right this time around?
Let's start over
I'll try to do it right this time around
It's Not Over
'Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground
This love is killing me but you're the only one
It's Not Over
Taken all I could take
And I cannot wait
We're wastin' too much time
Bein' strong
Holdin' on
Can't let it bring us down
My life with you means everything
So I won't give up that easily
Blow it away
Blow it away
Can we make this something good?
'Cause it's all misunderstood
When I try to do it right this time around
Let's start over
I'll try to do it right this time around
It's Not Over
'Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground
This love is killing me but you're the only one
It's Not Over
You can't let this get away
Let it out
Let it out
Don't get caught up in yourself
Let it out
Let's start over
I'll try to do it right this time around
It's Not Over
'Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground
This love is killing me but you're the only one
It's Not Over
Let's start over
It's Not Over
Yeah
This love is killing me but you're the only one
It's Not Over.
| | |
|
