| | after the whining, crying, multiple diaper changes, chasing, cleaning, drool and all those fun things that accompany a baby ... it's all worth it at the end of the day to watch mateo sleep. i've never witnessed anything more peaceful. it's the only thing that i can truly say, warms my heart. after months of trying to figure out my relationship with my son, i'd say that i finally love him like a mother should. haha that might sound bad i know.
so after talking with a friend and looking at old pictures, i realized how much i've changed within a couple of months. everything has changed. my hopes. my dreams. my way of life. i think having to make a responsible transition from jennifer without child to jennifer with child never came to mind when i was pregnant. i guess when i was preggo jro the only thing on my mind was that i was going to have a son and never thought past that. i know, way to plan ahead jennifer. high freakin five. anyway, i always thought i would go back to my old life b/c i didn't want to feel constricted. i hate the idea of something/someone changing me. well it's stressful to fight reality. and so now, i want to change and not because i have to but because god gave me something special and i guess this is my calling now. wow, ive never gotten spiritual on xanga haha. besides, being hung over with a crying baby is pure torture and accidently throwing up in mateo's diaper bin thingy really was a huge blow on my self-esteem as a mama haha. eh, who's perfect. i know, bad jro. so there it is. i'm no longer invincible.
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| | Posted 5/11/2007 12:52 AM - 3 comments
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