fallingforyou101's Xanga

Friday, March 09, 2007

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 02:47:44 GMT

I haven't been on here in a million years.
And the only reason I'm updating is because of the cutest girl in the world pretty much.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Tue, 24 Oct 2006 21:42:35 GMT

I haven't been on here in about a hundred years.
But, yeah I think I'm going to start up again.

I'm hanging out with ALEX today.
we are most likely going to the mall.
coats and jeans and stuff.

peaceee gangsterrrr.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 04:36:12 GMT

FUCKEVERYONE aJR3LW; KJFJRJ;LKR JFJ90[2U3 OIRJFKAJ 0P28RU98{rJUij;3ljwl;J @QRP*ifjkl23qj;h34i[ruif9UIfsgj:KJEW<LrJ9[35r9ioajkwljfa34;jr lj2[39 8rfi'o:Kd.?<malw/ju3io3rp.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Mon, 05 Jun 2006 08:45:51 GMT

I've been thinking a lot lately. And I have completely made up my mind about everything. I have decided that moving to Illinois I had the right idea, but the wrong image. I wanted to keep positive, I wanted to stay happy, I wanted the love of my life...to stay the love of my life. I wanted everything a young teenage girl could want. I wanted happiness. Friends. Movie Nights. I didn't want drama. I didn't want to loose the people I loved. I didn't want to loose the love of my life. I wanted things to stay the same in Kansas, but still have a happy life in Illinois. Thinking back on it now, I went into high school being something I wasn't. But, now I am growing up, maturing, and I am the person I want to be. I don't care if you think I'm some poser. Or a fake. I am who I want to be and if you don't like it; shut the fuck up.

I know many of you that hear the rumors of me being some "fat lesbian that no one likes" won't read this. But, I want to clear things up. I don't like girls. If you want to play stupid little games, and make up things that are OBVIOUSLY not true. Then whatever, go back to fucking Middle School. I don't need your drama. I don't need you. You don't mean anything to me.

I want to let you know that. That I reallyreally miss you. That I can't stop thinking about the way things used to be. How we always made each other smile and laugh. You were the one person that could make me smile when things didn't feel right, you were the one to reassure me that things will get better, you were there for me with anything, if it was boy problems, girl problems, family problems, anything..you were there. I miss that. Sooo fucking much. I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I want you back, because I can't quiet make up my mind. You have changed me in so many ways no one else could have. But, you make me feel this horrible pain, deep deep down that I haven't ever felt before. I love you, and I will forever. But, I think you aren't ready to let things go back. And I can't wait forever...

This beautiful girl is, Emilie Stutzman.
Emilie is my world, my everything, my other half. She has been my bestfriend for awhile now and that is never going to change. She lives in Iowa and I never get to see her, but our friendship is so strong that not even distance can tear us apart.

I love her beyond words.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Sun, 07 May 2006 08:51:17 GMT

EDIT://

After I thought about that post..
I realized how hard I try to make things happen. To make us talk. To make us remember what the love felt like. But, it is the hardest thing ever. He knows we were in love he knows that I will never love someone like that again. But, why does he make it so hard? One day, its all about Laura all about loving me &nd missing me sooo much. Then why not answer my calls? Why not return my phone calls? You don't make sense &nd I am here to tell you.

I gave you everything I could.
&nd you are now...throwing it all away.
I'm tired of trying if its going to be pointless.
I'm done.

Its your turn to show you "care."
</3

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Thu, 04 May 2006 05:37:02 GMT

I forget to update.

I'm tired.
I've lost my BFF.
She says I talk too much shit about her.
But, I promise you I dont.
[and the only thing i can really even think about saying to her, is how can you let go of all those memories? all those good times? just everything we shared. i hope you know this isn't what i want. this isnt what i need. =[..please tell me this wont last forever]

I've been talking to two amazing boys.
They can make me smile in a second.
I love them.
I may be able to go to Kansas over summer.
My parents are being stupid.
&nd my dad is "missing"
Told us he had to go to Mexico for work...work doesn't have that on record.
whatever..
I haven't been talking to some of the people that I love the most lately. don't be offended or upset by it, I just..need to figure things out...figure myself out.

&nd just to let you know..you have the wierdest ways of making me feel absouletly worthless.

i'm tired.
i should probably sleep.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 03:50:04 GMT

I'm sad.
I miss Kansas.
I miss my friends.
I miss being happy.
I miss loving life.
&nd I know I could make myself be happy.
But, right now.
I don't have the strength.

I need you.
</3.

p.s. I think I'm going to start Xanga again. I kinda miss it. Even though its lame..
p.p.s. Lauren Hageman I love you so much. YOU have the ability to make me smile.
p.p.p.s. Emilie Stutzman YOU make my heart melt. &nd I love you soososo much mor than words can explain.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Mon, 23 Jan 2006 03:08:28 GMT

Idontloveanyoneasmuchasilovethisgirl.

I love everything about her.
She has made me one of the happiest girls on the planet.
&nd I miss her more &nd more everday.

Her beauty; literally amazes me.

When I am with her, everything is so perfect.

&nd I feel like nothing could go wrong.

I would do anything &nd everything to be able to see her everday.
To see her face.
Tiny waste.
Little arms.
BIG booobbiies. =]

She will always be the love of my life;

No matter what happens;

or how far away I am.

She has changed me into a better person;
&nd I can never thank her enough for all that she has done for me.

Emma,

I don't know how I ever lived without you.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Thu, 19 Jan 2006 03:10:22 GMT

I don't really know why I made a new Xanga.
no point really.
i never update.
i never really get comments.
i dont know.
i'll post a picture post soon.

&nd I would like to say...

DONTFREAKINGCOPYME.
itjustmakesmemad.
&ndmakesmewanttoPUNCHyou.

(hint;;;; &nd)

kthnksbye.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Mon, 09 Jan 2006 04:21:17 GMT

So.

My parents found my old site.
They are stupiiidd.

Hopefully they won't find this one.