October 10, 2005

October 7, 2005

  • What I wouldn’t do for you…. 

    A couple days ago I had an HSG test.
    Yes, another test to find out why the “stork” hasn’t come to our little
    family yet, which is starting to miss that little bundle of joy quite frequently
    now. 
    The test…. Well… What can I say about the test… Other than PAINFUL!!!!!
    It already started when I was browsing on the net, trying to find out
    what and how that test is all about (My mistake. I always HAVE TO CHECK
    things on the net first. Sigh…)     After I read that harmless little
    article which only stated that the patient would feel a bit cramps and
    nausea just like PMS (HAH!!!! ), I
    already felt a little too tense about this whole thing. But, I had to, I
    told myself. So, I went there with my husband. Entered the examination
    room with a hard thumping heart and the nurse gave me a silly pants (It has a
    hole on the “right” spot. How practical     ).
    The rest were the “Spread you legs-Don’t be tense-Oh my you look very
    young-Where do you work-How’s your husband”     kind of crap. The next
    thing I knew there was this tiny.. Well, I probably shouldn’t tell you the
    whole procedure here.. I want to give the women an option
    Anywaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, it felt…well yeah.. Kinda like PMS but worse!
    And that’s only the beginning. 1 hour later it got worse!! And I do
    mean WORSE. The cramping thing.. I didn’t only feel it in my stomach
    but also in my you-know-what.  I couldn’t move, I couldn’t walk,
    for God’s sake, I couldn’t even stand up right. All I did was cry and
    eventually fell asleep from exhaustion. After 3 hours of sleep then
    came the stomach cramping thing. And if
    you must know, even if I’m back from the dead now, I do still feel nausea and that’s why I don’t fast today.
    So, I guess now it’s my husband’s turn (hehehehehehehehehe). Next week
    we’ll finally going to see the doctor. Can hardly wait what he’s gonna say. The result was I have retroflexed uterus. I hope it’s not as serious as it sounds…

    To think that this whole fiasco is “only” for a little human being… Well, I’m sure the pain is worth suffering for.. And I’d do it all over again if I have to.

October 3, 2005

  • Are you going to be my greatest sin?

    Do I deserve to be blamed? For not loving you or even to feel a thing?
    Coz it was you who was there in my life yet then chose to disappear.
    Stop. I already heard your 1000 reasons and excuses. I don’t need it
    anymore and I surely don’t need any justification. What you have
    done to me scarred me in the deepest place I myself could not reach or even understand.     I don’t know why I don’t love you. I don’t know why I can’t. As
    much as I’ve tried to forgive and to love you…it’s just not there.
    Not that I stop trying… But     what you’re doing right now doesn’t help our relationship either.
    You’re pushing me away instead. Can’t you see that?? And these
    differences we have, pushed me to the limit where I almost don’t care
    anymore.
    But still, am I the one who deserve to be blamed?
    You
    must know that I don’t have any regrets. In fact I’m utterly greatful.
    If I’d given the chance to relive my life again, I’d still choose the
    life that I have right now. Yet, I’m fully aware that my feelings for
    you now are not supposed to be here in my heart. I know that it’s not
    allowed. I know that it’s an unforgivable sin.

    But then again, why does it have to be MY sin and not YOURS????

  • It’s about the moment, the first 2 seconds to be exact, when we “know” something without really knowing why.
    I think I’m gonna like this book

September 30, 2005

  • 10 Things I Hate About You (revised)

    I hate the way you talk to me
    and the way you do your hair
    I hate the way you drive your car
    and the way you make me scared
    I hate your cool shirts and shoes
    and the way you read my mind
    I hate it when you’re always right
    and when you choose not to tell
    I hate it when you make me laugh
    even worse when you make me cry
    I hate it when you’re not around
    and the fact that you don’t so often call
    But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you
    not even close, not even a little bit
    not even at all

  • Menu -> Organizer -> Notes

    You’re  miles away but I can still hear your heart beats
    Coz it’s so close to mine, every second, every day

    No more peace, nothing is quiet

    For all the things that I’ve heard

    They’re all wrong, none is comforting

    All noise, perfect distortion, banging all together

    This much of a pain, I don’t know how much more I can take
    …………………………………………………………..I miss you

    I could stare at you all night
    That’s when I find serenity in my heart
    When all the things that led to perfection come together in one place
    it becomes you
    As you are my love, my life
    my all and my soul

    I miss you




    To see you when I wake up


    Is a gift I didn’t think could be real.


    To know that you feel the same as I do


    Is a three-fold, Utopian dream.


    You do something to me that I can’t explain.


    So would I be out of line if I said,


    “I miss you”?


    I see your picture,


    I smell your skin on


    The empty pillow next to mine.


    You have only been gone ten days,


    But already I’m wasting away.


    I know I’ll see you again


    Whether far or soon.


    But I need you to know that I care,

    And I miss you.

September 28, 2005

  • Why do I love to eat?

    Chocolate bar, spaghetti, Nutella’s sandwich, Duck King’s roast duck
    with hainam rice, Chili’s Big Mouth Burger, ice cream, Cakalang Fufu
    Rabe Rica with Camoe-Camoe’s perkedel jagung, Blueberry cheesecake’s Cheese Cake Factory…….. Yumm…. Heavenly!
    It’s so
    hard to resist them. That’s why I’m getting fatter (and still not
    getting pregnant ) Sigh….what to do? I admit, I do feel a “little” bit heavier, especially in the rear end
    And it’s starting to bother me… Considering that I’ve reach the point
    where this is my heaviest weight in my entire life… Maybe I should
    start dieting… Maybe I should stop eating so much… Maybe….
    But look at that delicious… Slurp… They keep begging to be eaten…by me
    How can I let them down? Maybe I should look away… But.. But.. They
    keep calling me! “Hey, Farika! Don’t you want to taste me? I feel extra
    chocolatey today… Come and lick me!”
    Well… I mean… Just take a
    look at these beautiful things… How can anyone resist them? Am I
    right?? Right??

September 27, 2005

September 23, 2005

  • Die Schicksals eines Meerjungfrau

    Es war einmal eine Meerjungfrau. Sie heißt Nixi. Sie lebt tief in der
    dunkel blauen See. Nixi hat eine wunderschöne, kombinierte hell und dunkel grüne
    Schwanz. Und es funkelt wenn sie schwimmt, besonders wenn die Sonnen scheint. Die
    Meerjungfrau selber hat eine sehr hübsche Gesicht. Obwohl ihre Haut ein bißchen
    zu blass ist für ein normaler Mensch, sie hat aber volle rote Lippe, kleine
    Nase und ein bißchen Spitzaugen. Und ihre lange goldene Haare bewegt sich als
    ob sie schwebt in siebten Himmel. Nixi wußte daß sie sehr hübsch aussieht deswegen
    hat sie immer eine kleine Bürste aus Korallen und eine echte goldene Spiegel dabei.
    Nixi kann sich für Stunden ihre Haare bürsten und sich im Spiegel ansehen bis
    eines Tages sie einen großen Schiff langsam kommen sieht….

    Sehen Sie, Fr. Birke? Ich bin noch immer die kleine Märchenprinzessin…
    Vielleicht kann ich meine kleine Geschichte eines Tages an meine Kindern erzählen.
    Was sagen Sie dazu?  

September 20, 2005

  • what (most) women keep in silence

    physical flaws, fake orgasm, boob jobs, nose job, cheekbone job & many other
    jobs, the real number of ex lovers, monthly salary,
    heartaches, carreer plan, body weight, age, who their real friends are & who
    are not, upcoming revenge, what they really want & feel about something/one, sexual fantasies, latest crush, things that     pisses them off,….what else?
    only God knows, I guess….and you!


    true?  

farika

Archives

Recent Posts

Recent Comments

Categories