worlds apart

i am the only one to blame for this.

somehow, it all adds up the same.

soaring on the wings of selfish pride, i flew too high,

and like icarus, i collide --

Greek Mythology:  Daedalus, an Athenian, had been exiled for the murder of his nephew...
After building the Labyrinth, Daedalus was held prisoner on Crete.  At last, he built wings,
to enable himself and his son, Icarus, to escape.  He fastened them to their shoulders by
means of wax, and warned Icarus not to fly too high, lest the heat of the sun melt the wax,
nor too low, lest the wings be dampend by the sea.  At first the flight was a great success,
but then Icarus, exulting in the experience, soared aloft.  The wax melted and the boy fell
into the sea and was drowned.

with a world i tried so hard to leave behind.

to rid myself of all but love,

to give and die.

to turn away and not become

another nail to pierce the skin of one who loved

more deeply than the oceans, more abundant than the tears

of a world embracing every heartache

pornography.divorce.suicide.drugs.abuse.lies.deceit.broken_trust.self_mutilation.murder.
revenge.jealousy.envy.eating.not_eating.sexual_immorality.doubt.lies.alcohol.prostitution.
war.slavery.hatred.cynasism.apathy.cults.demonic_possession.oppression.impurity.greed.
lust.selfishness.materialism.controlling_relationships.withdrawing.violence.death.moral_
corruption.ignoring_the_poor.homosexualiity.abortion.self_worship.dying_souls.suppressing_
the_truth.idolatry.rage.lonliness.competition.addictions.gangs.manmade_religion.rebellion.
abandoned_families.hoplessness.pride.stealing.godlessness.piercing_the_heart_of_God.

and can i be the one to sacrifice?

or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow?

But with loud shouts, they insistently demanded that he be crucified,
and their shouts prevailed.

 

to love you... take my world apart

to need you... i am on my knees

to love you... take my world apart

to need you... broken on my knees

all said and done, i stand alone

amongst remains of a life i should not own.

it takes all i am to believe in the mercy that covers me:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry
of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's
sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore
Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on
Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in
him we might become the righteousness of God.

did you really have to die for me?

for all i am, for all you are,

for what i need and what i believe

are worlds apart.

"No defeat is made up entirely of defeat --

since the world it opens is always a place formerly unsuspected.

A world lost, a world unsuspected, beckons to new places..."

(William Carlos Williams)

some matters have, to be sure, the appearance of wisdom in                                    

       self-made religion       

                         and

                     self-abasement      

                  and

       severe treatment of the body,

but they are of no value against

             f l e s h l y   i n d u l g e n c e

it was the quiet condemnation

that screamed the loudest

when i would lie awake at night

and try to fathom the reason

that i was seen through the broken glass windows

when the rest of the world seemed to be in shiny new packages.

and i cried once, but it did little;

i fought back in anger,

but their forces were too strong for one girl

who had already been labeled

and tucked away

into the corners of an ancient attic.

but i pressed my ear to the floor

and listened to their snickers –

to their jokes and plastic laughter;

i wondered that i was not like them…

had i stepped too far

and threatened their source of security?

i don't want to live this alone, you see;

i've pressed forward and tried to explain;

they don't understand.

they don't care.

their eyes are empty,

or else shadowed with a past of their own.

so why was i the one to blame?

it was an easy target, really.

when i look back, i can almost understand –

i stuck out like the risen nail,

and they were thirsty for something to pound,

only i didn't move.

and that  must have scared them in the end,

because what excuse did they have left?

they surrounded me, and i could see glimpses of their fangs,

although they hid them well under their masks of morality.

they liked playing the judge;

but i'm not going to eat their penalty.

no, i have lived for more and through more

to simply bow to a broken trust

and give up the plate on which i stand;

their claws are sharp,

but it's nothing compared to the pain

of realizing you just compromised the only thing true.

so i'll live in an attic if you so wish,

but know one thing –

i am an artist, and i see the good in even the smallest corners;

i find room to grow,

and i will paint you a picture,

a colorful reminder of everything you lost;

because really, the night that you turned the key

and thought you were rid of the friction that was starting to burn,

that was the night that you locked yourself away,

and you became the prisoner;

and i hope that you can see

i will always soar above that.

so i guess i should thank you –

when the screws tighten, more passion leaks out,

and i become stronger,

more steadily held together, and more able

to do the very thing that you wanted to silence;

and i know how to survive in the flames.

God has a

                   single,

                      r e l e n t l e s s    

                          stance toward you:

He   loves  you .