It is natural for a person to change over time.. But I think I might have changed a little too fast too dramatically since the beginning of medical school up till now.. This is kinda how things progressed:
First 3 months : I was this fresh-faced, gung-ho and excited medstudent dreaming of saving lives and making a difference. I voluntarily studied extra information for a simple assignment on appendicitis. I wanted to know everything there is to know about appendicitis and used all the resources I had access to - textbooks, online textbooks, eMedicine, Harrison's, Bates, etc. Being one of the 8 MD-PhD students in a 150 people class, I was mistaken as one of the smartest kids by my classmates and I foolishly agreed with them.
Next 6 months: It didn't take long to realize I was no good at Medschool style learning. I rationalized my mediocre performance at bruit memorization with my scientifically and analytically oriented mind. Afterall, there has to be a reason why I am an MD/PhD and not an MD, right?
Next 6 months : My horrendous performance at school - I rationalized it with my extra workload with PhD classes. If I only had just the medschool classes to worry about, I'd be doing just fine. My ego still intact. But dangerously fragile.
Present: I ran out of things to blame on. I started to think that maybe I am having an early onset of Alzheimer's. yeah. that's desperation. Desperate to find an excuse for my struggle with learning/retaining/and mastering human physiology, pathology and clinical skills. Or... maybe... just maybe... I ain't that smart afterall. It's not a pretty sight to shatter my carefully built self-image of 24 years - intelligent, smart and secure. Save people's lives? I am too busy saving my own ass... Today I actually entertained an idea of calling up student health and making an appointment with the psychologist. But I chickened out. Still too proud to admit defeat. I will fight on... at least until the end of my boards in July.
When did I become so obsessed with being "smart"? Maybe I should have been a dance major in college. Scripps might have been a better fit for me. | 
