fayfay807's Xanga

Monday, June 19, 2006

Mon, 19 Jun 2006 03:27:09 GMT

June 18, 2006

Hey you guys...What up? How yall doing? I'm okay...I got bored so...here I am...I'm listenin to Vivian Green...Sweet Memory...I love this song so much.... I don't know why...I just do...I guess because it makes me think of a certian person...I miss him so much..I really want to call him..but I guess I have to much pride....after all I "was" the one who said we shouldn't talk...it's so hard..it's been like what 2....3 months now and I still can't get over him...I don;t know if I should fight and take what I think should be mine or just give up and wait for god to send me another one...it's crazy because...I read his blogs everday and....I just begin to miss him...I pray for him everyday....it's like he's always on my mind..even when I'm not thinking about him..I am...I don't know if yall understand me or not..but that's what I'm feeling right now....I wish he would call me....all I want is to hear his voice...I feel so safe everytime I hear it...I love it...I love him...I love the way we look together...but I guess I need to get over it...he probly doesn;t care about me anymore....doesn't think about me...can careless...okay...got it..I know why I like this song so much....this is the first time actually sat down and listened to it...she's talking about a love she had a long time ago and they went thier ways...she's not in love with him like she use to be..but she says her memories of him are sweet and how all she wants is to sit down with him and see how he's doing....it's great song....you all should take the time out and hear the song...don't worry..it's real music..none of this lick me...suck me...blow me crap!! lol..funny...yeah I know....anywayz...hopefully I can sit back and smile at all of this one day....not anytime soon....but one day...well...I guess that's all folks!!!

Love ya.....bye u guys!!!

Vivian Green / Sweet Memory (2005)

It such a sweet memory
Baby of you and me
And how we used to beautifully young
Sometimes I just sit and smile
Thinkin about ya for a while
Wondering how ya doin now
It such a sweet memory
Baby of you and me
And how we used to beautifully young
Sometimes I just sit and smile
Thinkin about ya for a while
Wondering how ya doin now

I heard you were married
Had a few babies
Put on on a few pounds, that grown man weight
But heard you looked real good
Makin six figures
Well I could of figured you were always ambitious
You went to college, I did my singing thing
Moving around it's hard to stay in touch
But I've missed you so much over the years
Just wanted to give you a hollar say hey
How you doin these days

It such a sweet memory
Baby of you and me
And how we used to beautifully young
Sometimes I just sit and smile
Thinkin about ya for a while
Wondering how ya doin now
It such a sweet memory
Baby of you and me
And how we used to beautifully young
Sometimes I just sit and smile
Thinkin about ya for a while
Wondering how ya doin now

You were so funny, had me in stiches
Now any man I date must make me laugh
You kissed me in places thought I was going to hell
Secrets I would never tell my momma then
But you were so sweet
Didn't take my virginity
But you saw the good in me
Even talked about marrying me
The future we tried to see
We were not suppose to pass
Now everything doesn't last
I wanted to say hey how you doin these days
I guess I don't know you no more
I wonder how much you've change
Would we have the same chemistry?
Could you still make me laugh?
Could we still have a blast?
Are you happy? Have you've done all thing to wanted to?
One thing I want to do is to see you and just chill, just talk and reminisce
It would make me so happy if we could do this

It such a sweet memory
Baby of you and me
And how we used to beautifully young
Sometimes I just sit and smile
Thinkin about ya for a while
Wondering how ya doin now
It such a sweet memory
Baby of you and me
And how we used to beautifully young
Sometimes I just sit and smile
Thinkin about ya for a while
Wondering how ya doin now
[Repeat til end]

How you doin, baby?
How you doin?

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Thu, 08 Jun 2006 18:16:48 GMT

Jume 8, 2006

Hey you guys...How's everyone? I'm doing okay...I just started my summer job..it's at Bath and Body Works...it's okay..nothing to special...I have a new found respect for the women and men who work at this store..most people think all you do is sell really good smelling crap..but there is so much more to it than that...I go in at 7 and work my shift...then I have to stay sometimes til almost 1 in the moning..just restocking the entier store...it's crazy...anywayz...I don;t know if i'm going to summer school? haven't made up my mind yet...I really want to travel, but I'm not to for sure when...need monet first...I really want to come back to houston...I miss it so much...it's such a great city...really it is...lets see...i told you guys about school...and work....umm...my love life....well I don't have one and as everyday goes by I see I don't need one...Boys take up to much of your time and they're really stupid...This one guy I was talking to hasn't called me for like 2 weeks now...I should have known...then I guy the like takes me out on a date and then just stops talking to me...I mean..come on....it's hard enough just putting yourself out there...CAN I GET A BREAK!!!!! lol yeah I know sad huh?...anywayz...the guy who left me for my roommate...we're not talking at all...I told him it was to better me..yeah right..there's days that I wish he wouldn't be so pig head and he would just pick up the phone and call me..I really want him to call me...I miss him so much...he was like my best friend at school...it's crazy...it's like no matter how wrong he did me...I still love him...and I feel like I will always love him..There's not a day that goes by that I don't thinka bout him...GOD I reall wanted to love that boy...and what's even more crazy..is that after all of this...I still would love this boy...all he has to do is say..he'll be there and that he loves me to...it's that simple....but then again life isn't simple...unless your Nicole and Paris...lol...but yeah..I really miss him...anywayz..I'll talk to you guys later...

PEACE!!!

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Thu, 25 May 2006 03:27:49 GMT

May 24, 2006

I know it has been a long time....but life just hasn't allowed me to write...but boi do I have stories...first, I just asked the my first real crush to dinner and a moive..waitin for a reply....okay...I just got off the phone with this guy...who claims he doesn't have feelings for me..but we had a talk about 3 or 4 dayz ago..and he's just now callin' me...somebody was thinkin about me!!!N E Wayz...My 1st year of college is over ...It was a year filled with ups and downs...more downs then ups...I lost a close friend...butI don;t think we were close to begin with if I lost her huh???yeah she stabbed me in th back...but you know how bitches are...I mean females....NO...BITCHES!!!!!! They messy and just 2 faced...but I'm over it now...I'm talkin to this great guy...he's wonderful..he loves me for me and it's crazy..cuz the one person I ignored for so long is the same guy who came to my aide...THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH BABE!!! Let's see...mom and dad still not good...me and dad still not good...I mean we're okay...but not cool...one day I wish we could be...but I don't know...my true friends are doing good..found out a lot of stuff has been going on with them...they have changed a lot...but it's all for the good...I'm so proud of them and I hope they are proud of me 2....I thank god for wakein me up today and hopefully 2morrow....umm anything else....that's about it..pray you guys that I get this peer mentor job..I so need it!!!

Well until we meet again....bye you guys...LOVE YA!!!

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Thu, 05 Jan 2006 23:15:14 GMT

You know that quote.. “ Things aren’t always what they seem to be”….right… Well this quote bit me straight in my ass. I thought I had someone who would be true to me and who would love me, because that’s all I wanted to do for him, but I guess that’s not going to happen. I mean I don’t want to stop talking to him, because our friendship is worth more to me than anything else in this world, but I hate the fact that we are just going to be friends… I think the day he admits that he’s still stuck on his ex is the day I’LL be okay… Why lie to yourself? I mean come on now!! REALLY!! WHY????????? WHY?????????? WHY??????? I’m a good person.. You know I wouldn’t hurt you or lie to you.. Unlike some people… Yes, I have a guy from my past and yes I care about this person, but that’s just it… key word “past”…. But you know the past always comes back to bit you in the ass. So it’s cool.. No hard feelings.. Everything is everything… I mean you got to get yours and I have to get mine.. So we are even!!

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Tue, 20 Dec 2005 21:40:00 GMT

I knew today was going to be a bad day... How do you wake-up nowing that your day was going to be shit!!!

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Tue, 20 Dec 2005 19:59:59 GMT

December 20, 2005

Why do feel like everything I do just doesn’t matter? It’s like I can’t do anything right. (Pause) I think I have lost my faith. It’s not that I don’t believe it’s just that it’s hard to be the person I am right now. And the person I want to be. It seems like I can’t find her. She’s gone. God help me find her. My friends see it. My family sees it... I’m sad. I’m extremely sad… I want it to go away… I’m too good of a person to be sad... I don’t deserve to be sad!! As tears roll down my cheeks, I just get worse. I think I should pray, No I know I should pray, but it’s like I never have time. I to busy with bull shit… Yes, bull shit… I feel like everyone is looking for me to fail. I have come up with happy girl image and all they want me to do is break. I use to be so good at hide-ing my emotions…never letting them sees you cry, or be mad. But it’s hard now… I’m a puppet...Help...SOMEONE HELP ME!!! Please!!

*PEACE*

Monday, December 19, 2005

Mon, 19 Dec 2005 07:20:06 GMT

December 19, 2005

I never knew how much love hurts until just right now. When you want to be with someone who doesn’t care….Why? Why? Would treat the one person who loves you wrong? Why would go after something that doesn’t want you? I’m a good woman. I would never hurt you and yet you hurt me. I don’t get it… It’s like you enjoy hurting me… And the other person I love is so right for me…he great.. But I just can’t get over the first one. Was there even a first one or was it something I made up in my mind? You can’t believe how many times he has hurt me. I wanted to be his everything.. I wanted to love him..hold him…give myself to him and this is what I get a slap in the face..she was my best friend..come on really!! What am to feel.. I’m numb. My heart hurts.. why does my heart hurt. Look don’t come to me crying when she breaks your heart, cuz I know she will and don’t look for me during the holidays, cuz guess what I wont be there and for future reference.. GO FUCK YOURSELF… I SO DO NOT LIKE YOU…. I loved you… you were my everything… All I wanted to do was love you… but you didn’t want love all you wanted was a piece of ass. So go and get it I hope it makes you happy, but I know it will make you cry. And to my love now I’m sorry for everything I put you though. I was stupid and stupid and stupid and stupid and stupid and stupid!!!!!!!! I love you with all my heart and hope you can forgive me for this whole thing.. my past is my past and I want my future to be with you. I love you. well got to go cry now!! Bye you guys!!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Wed, 07 Dec 2005 22:25:55 GMT

December 7, 2005

Boys Suck ass. You think that one might be different, but it turns out he is just like the rest of them…DOGZ!!!!! I don’t get it? Why do they act the way they do? I mean I'm talking to this guy right, I mean he is great in all, I mean he pushes me to be the best I can be, but sometime I don’t feel like doing that. Sometime I just want to have fun with him. Not sexual fun. But maybe, just maybe a nice walk or even a fun day at the art museum. I mean have a little fun once in a while, I don't understand, its like a girls has to be a hoe or just want sex to have any fun. Why? I feel so alone and I hate that feeling. I hate it!! He has no idea how much he hurts me when he treats me like I'm shit. Thanks a lot.. All I want to do is love him, but I guess that's asking for to much. N E Wayz. I'll talk to you guys later. Happy Holidays!!

Monday, November 14, 2005

Mon, 14 Nov 2005 19:21:55 GMT

November 14, 2005

Oh!! You guys! Let me tell you about my crazy weekend!! God it was crazy!! Well Friday was a bad day in the office!! I really did not feel like going, but you know you have to make that papa'! N E Wayz! That same night Trey Songz was coming to my University, well me and my friends went to go see him, it was awesome!! I loved it! He is so cute! He's a little on the same side, I thought he would be bigger, but what ever he doesn't have in the body, He really makes up for it in his face. And that heavenly voice, Jesus takes me now!!! He was on stage just as fine, he ripped his wife beatta off, and oh it was great! After the concert I got to meet him! That was even more amazing. He is so sweet and funny!! Usher move over, Trey is going to take over!! His smile was so............so............amazing..!!! Well after that we went to Club Blue! That was off the chain!! We came back to the Towers, my roommate got drunk!! Crazy!! Woke up the next day, had nothing to do. My friends got drunk again! Oh God!! Went to a football game on Sunday!! We won!! 27-24 yeah baby!! Went over to my guy friends' house!! And now it's Monday!! My weekend all in all was great!! I miss my mom! I don't know were that came from but I do. I miss her so much!! N E Wayz!! I feel bad you guys, I kind of like someone I shouldn't!! It's crazy, because we haven't spent that much time together, but he is great!! I wish I could talk to him, but that's not going to happen! Well if you ever read this. I really like you and maybe we can talk one day!! We'll see! Got to go you guys!!

Peace

Friday, November 04, 2005

Fri, 04 Nov 2005 21:23:44 GMT

November 4, 2005

Hey you guys!! How is it goin’? Yesterday was my mom’s birthday! I hate that fact that I couldn’t give her anything, but I told her that I loved her and that I miss her! I think that was enough, don’t you? So today is an okay day!! Nothing bad so far! Some how I have to find a way to the bug station about a couple of blocks away from my school, but everything will work out!! I am so excited!! Get to see my mom today! I haven’t seen that chick since August!! I miss her so much!! My roommate and me aren’t talking right now! I don’t know why, I told her I had nothing to say, but I guess that isn’t good enough for her!! Aw well!! Life goes on!! Well I have to go! Talk to you cool cats later!! Bye