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Monday, April 07, 2008

  • It's.only.Monday.

    I WANT A BOYFRIEND! Thats my gripe for the month.

    I also need to: stop biting my nails

                          stop eating sugar

    Intake today:

    coffee, diet coke, pepsi max (argh need to cut back on that crap) - 10cal

    1 piece peanut butter toast - 130

    1 cookie - 50

    candy - 100

    yoghurt - 75

    pasta with tuna - 280

    Total: 645.

    Outtake today:

    (early morning) 50min jog.

     

    Argh sssoooooo much study to do!!! Every hour of my time is accounted for this week - it's going to be exhausting.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

  • Finally....breathe!

    Wow I have some catching up to do.

    My sister has been here all weekend, its been a crazy few days of partying and socialising, so I haven't had a chance to get on the internet.

    On Thursday I unfortunately ate alot more that night - twas a combination of being sick, body not used to restriction plus a negative attitude.

    Since then I have eaten fairly minimally, a bit too much, especially when you include alcohol, but not excessive. I don't think I've really gone backwards in terms of weight but have definitely been holding out till now, when I know I can begin to get stricter again. I've had cereal for breakfast and an apple for lunch, I'll go for a walk later and maybe have a little dinner, then tomorrow its back to school, routine, and trying a bit harder in terms of exercise and food!!

    I'm so far behind in schoolwork its not funny - I'm going to the supermarket soon to buy loads of diet coke and coffee to have on hand, and some low fat/cal dinners.

    Sigh, I need to go and start studying.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

  • HIDEOUS ME

    Oh my god. I've totally messed up. Right after I've received such wonderful comments too!

    I feel absolutely wretched - I'm getting sick and this is always bad news in terms of eating etc for me.

    Today:

    4 pieces of toast with peanut butter and honey

    chocolate, probably equivalent to 2 bars

    4 water crackers.

    Probably about 2000cal. WHAT THE HELL?????? Just when I was beginning to see the tiniest bit of difference

    :( :( :(

    I also have done no exercise

    I'm pathetic, I'm useless, I'm fat and I'm a loser. And now I'm sore, tired, and non functional. So I can't be fit/toned, I can't be thin and I can't study. Oh yeah, and I can't sleep. I just want to curl up and die :(

     

Monday, March 31, 2008

  • The days are too long, the nights are too short and there aren't enough hours in the week.

    I got up EARLY this morning, while it was still DARK and went for a jog before class. I am not a morning person, so that was quite an achievement!

    Intake has been ok so far, but it is only 7pm and I do have alot of study to do so we'll see.

    B: coffee, apple -100

    L: diet coke, 2 lollipops -130

    s: granola bar -250

    D: noodles and tuna, coffee -250

    Total: 730 :)

    Exercise: aforementioned 50min jog/walk.

    Ahh, music is playing and I want to go dancing! Unfortunately I'm going to be chained to my desk again tonight. I barely slept again last night, but I don't know how much of it was hunger and how much was stress. I have a doctors appointment of Friday, so if it doesn't improve I'm going to request some sleeping pills. Not only does sleep deprivation make me hungry, it makes me completely non-functional and I can't go down that track again - I need to stay on top of my study!!! Does anyone else have prescription sleeping pills? Is it a big deal to ask for them? I hate doctors who make you feel like a hyperchondriac.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

  • So far so good

    Last night I couldn't sleep so I got up and had a few crackers with hummus and a hot chocolate. Gargh. It did help me sleep though.

    Today has been ok, if I can manage not to eat anything else tonight.

    My intake:

    B: coffee

    L: bagel with jam, sugarfree energy drink

    s: 2 cookies, spoon of icecream

    D: a few crackers with hummus, cup of pumpkin soup

    About 800 cal?

    Exercise:

    50 minutes of rollerblading.

    I've been reading "The Pillars of the Earth" by Ken Follet. Its an incredible book, with SO much substance. Its kind of making me think about going to the nearby church on Sunday. Wouldn't Granddad be so proud?!

    I don't have a scale at my apartment, but used the one where I was babysitting today. I don't think it was very accurate! It said quite a low weight, so I'm choosing not to believe it. I'll weigh myself when I go there again on Wednesday though, because at least I'll be able to tell if I've lost or not.

    I have two parties next weekend.....think thin!!

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findingjosephine

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    • Name: Josephine
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  • "Josephine" means "god increases". What kind of identity is that supposed to give me?? This xanga is myself trying to keep tabs on myself. I'm trying to decrease, to shrink, to fade...I am defiant towards that Josephine they all think I am.

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