flippedout6's Xanga

Tipping Cows

Thu, 28 Jun 2007 02:54:37 GMT

I got to say... today was one of the most shittiest days that I have had in a long ass time. Come to think about it, it has been a shitty week. There is definately nothing I could do to reverse what I had done already, but the only thing left to do now is to pick up myself and start from bottom-up again. Yup, it is going to take a very long time to reach where I once was, but I think I can manage. It seems like I've truly lost the favor of a goddess, but with some sacrifice (LOL) she will be pleased in no time.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 05:49:14 GMT

Hello!

Like after a very loooooooooooooooong extended vacation from xanga, I have finally returned!

Alot of things happened since I last updated my xanga and I am not even going to go over what happened then, cause Im too lazy to do it and it doesnt matter now.

For starters, I would like to let everyone know that I read your xanga post all the time. I just dont comment, at all. Why? Because i couldnt log into my own xanga account. The solution? Took less than 5 minutes. Why the delay? I dont honestly know.

Anyway, Valentines day is around the corner and yes I will spend most of the day with sai (the girl in the top photo, we arent related mind you). Some people might not know this, but I really care about my friends (despite the fact I make fun of them most of the time) so last Valentines day I spent it with most of my friends and bought everyone some whip cream, chocolate and some strawberries.

This year Im afraid, I cant offer the same thing the year before. Not only am I broke, but I am super-sick-flu-sneeze-so-much-that-blood-mixes-with-the-snot-everytime-i-sneeze bad. So I dont think I can comfort some people. Although I could rummage for some Valentine day porno. ^_^

So like, I am super sick. Being this sick, has opened my mind beyond the limits of reason and logic. It has came to me that, It is most likely, I will never find someone as loving and caring as sai in my entire life. I feel like as if sai and me were truly meant to find one another in this life. Which, brings me to believe, that maybe we were former lovers in our past lives (reincarnation), but I wouldnt like to test that theory out at all O_o. I also find it so cool that we just hang out, maybe doing nothing and still have plenty of fun. Hence dates become real cheap and movies are free (thanks kenzang!) . The only thing stopping me from venturing outside is the harsh weather, my empty wallet and my sickness. This sickness has helped me realize a few things. I realize that sometimes I take sai for granted and that I can always count on her to be at my side.

Because of that I wish i can do more for sai. To make her feel happy, to whatever ends and causes. Thats why I love it when I cook for her, tie her shoes for her and being there for her as well. Looking back at my very depressing life in the past, it makes me feel very silly for trying so damn hard for others to like me (women and men alike), when I finally found someone that I feel that unconditionally loves me for whatever the reasons it may be.

I know I may show too much affection towards sai, but in all honesty, it is not because I wish to gloat or to prove that I am a much superior alpha male, but because doing it makes me feel so alive. It feels so good to do it, whether in the privates of my own home or in public. I vowed that I would never do drugs, but the feeling that swells up inside me and twisting my insides as I see the girl of my dream breathing in front of me is like as if I have been drugged all along. This feeling is better than anything i have ever experienced before, this is a feeling to yearned and envied at the same time.

That is why I wish for all my friends the best of luck in thier relationships and whatever else that comes thier way. I want all my friends to know, that you are in my silent prayers in church and that I hope that you truly find the thing that you have been searching all you life. Although I have found mine, there is still more things to come and experience in the bright future tomorrow might bring.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Sun, 21 May 2006 23:35:19 GMT

hey ppl!!! whats up?

huh? nothing much for me in my side. gonna take 2 summer classes this summer and maybe chill with sai the whole time whle im at it.

---1st order of business: renavations are starting 2morrow for my house so the chances of having a barbaque is still good, however the chances for ppl stepping on carpenter nails and loosing a foot is pretty high, but im sure that wont stop ppl from coming to eat some pork chops would it? lol

---2nd order of business: havent been studying as of late, started to lose interest in all things that werent important like, speech, japanese and biology.... exams coming soon so i jst wanna get in and get out and hopefully still get a B

---3rd thing: hung out with a bunch of buddies on thursday and played D&D till 8, pretty good game going on there, had aot of fun too, i feel bad for Prota lol

on friday sai came over my house and we had some shrimp tempura good stuff (i cooked them) and we saw some anime, had lots of fun.

on saturday i had to show up for my last class for printmaking, got bored cause it was like at 9:30 and we started to do it at 12pm so i was like doing nothing for 2 hours and a half. oh but i met with sai again and had so much fun. we went to china town, had malaysian food (awsome stuff) i picked something i never had before (remembered why i always stick to curry chicken) had bubble tea (taro flavor, i like honeydew melon better) then we went to elizabeth center and sai picked up some more phone assessories, then we walked to union square i think??? or soemthing. that place with the spinning cube thing.

anyway we went there and there was a street fair thing going on, bought some more D&D figurines (tika, alicia and clare) was a pain in the ass to glue tika together. and then we walked around some and chilled till 7 really. so it was a cute little date i havent had with sai. i need to take her to westchester and show her how boring it is here, lol all we have are parks and trees.

then i got to yonkers at 8 and chilled with kenzang after he got out of work till 9:30....we spent the whole time talking and reading about D&D stuff....

D&D is poison to the mind.... but i take it any day over flintstone kids (and i do love flintstones kids tablets)

anyway today i didnt do much work at all. i have to clean the bathroom still and right now im eating some mee goring/pancit canton noodles ^_^ i love to mix them up

i did get to make a whole world map of the D&D place i think theres 6 continents and 10 nations that exist in them with at least like 3-12 cities each. i didnt take notes in what thier culture is like but what the hell u kno lol, i jst finished making the map thats all. like a good 3% was explored by the party so theres alot to do now i think lol, anyways i got to go lol

Hello!!!

Sun, 09 Apr 2006 01:46:11 GMT

whats up people!!!

i been really busy and all, had a hot dog eating contest, D&D to do, bakes sales to make and studying to boot too!

anyway i got home early so im gonna let ppl kno that im alive but rlly busy so im hard to come by now adays

but jst to let ppl kno (not to brag) im gonna go to virginia with sai during spring break/ but with my family ;;sigh;; oh well.

but i cant wait though. i mean for a couple of weeks i havent rlly given sai all my attention so i have to make it up during those 5 days, honestly it feels like i havent seen her in a long time, but i need this spring break soooooooo badly

so im gonna go study some and get some gay chem reports done

Beyond Recovery ( ^_^ )

Mon, 20 Feb 2006 00:48:18 GMT

after weeks of misery and pain. i finally feel much better!

i mean i usually am very active but! this time i got good-old paper mario and a boxes of nyquil and dayquil to boost up my strength. i swear im gonna become addicted to those things.

so yea. this valentines day this year was cool. i mean sai and i didnt go out and celebrate by ourselves. but we thought it might be nice to cheer up some people cause this year has been a little rough on them. =( but all is well. people are in good moods and everything is fine hopefully they are lol.

ok like last thursday we had this super smash melee. lol ahem Stupid Smash for sai LMAO. its cute the way she says that. well i think im going to retire from the stupid smash business, getting bored of it anyway.

paper mario is soooooooooo cute i like it when he says "oh no!" and "oh yea"

well aside from that me and sai hung out like on friday and everything is cool. i let her read berserk which was cool. that manga jst shouts out her lol.

also today i banged my shin on the staircase. and i was like groaning like a panzy. but the most screwed up part was i heard my older sister upstairs in her room laughing at my expense. sadistic bitch! anyway she fractured her ankle from working out too much so hahaha i have the last laugh. but that happened like on friday..... so maybe i had the first laugh, she laughed at me 2 days later and i think about her case and laugh some more at her..... errr u get my point lol

my shin rlly hurts >_<

oh yea some good news in life came to me on saturday i think? like, a couple of weeks ago my mom signed me up for some life insurance! damn right they can collect some refund when i go kaputz, errr 5cent deposit i guess lol. but anyway i had to take some test and i came out negative with flying colors

meaning i dont have HIV!!!! wooooooooooo

so yea like everything is jiffy. i may not like this cold i have, but its a damn lot better than having HIV man!

so yea kuddos to me. im kinda bored and rice jst finished cooking so i think im gonna have me some ^_^

Friday, February 10, 2006

Fri, 10 Feb 2006 03:15:42 GMT

so like i made up with my friend so all is well that ends well. i guess we were bottleling things in. but now its all okay ^_^

anyway today was fun. and someone in school that everyone had known about got into serious trouble man... i mean serious get caught by cops in trouble trouble.

also some random asain guy came in and no one can understand his english.... or was it? O_O

anyway all is good so every can relax and stuff, so like everyone have a nice weekend!

To a Special Someone

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 03:24:09 GMT

you! you back stabbing, conniving son of a bitch you! seriously you have gone too far and i am officially no longer considering seeing you for who you are. i feel used and decieved. i try to help you and give you some confidence but all this time you have been dealing secretly behind my back. i go to your website and i see my little sister post something which only i cannot see. what the fuck is that all about? i think of you as a younger brother i never had and tried to look out for you. these past few days have been very stressful for me. and now you have only angered me beyond forgiveness. i never thought someone which i place such great deal of value, such high potential and esteem would stoop so low, very low as to digust me. i am a very patient man. a very calm and patient man. but i do not think you have taken me seriously at all! i have told you to find some other friend. there are many others out there in the internet. but not my own sister.

know this that you have angered me considerably and there is nothing now that i am surprised by whatever lies you say with that snake tounge of yours. know this that you have not seen the very different, violent, malicious, sadistic and poetic side of me. know this that know this that revenge is something that is not to be carried out carelessly within a weeks time. revenge, i believe is something that is entirely part of my being. something that is entwined with the soul itself. and you are getting dangerously close to it. beware my revenge is not like other people's revenge you have seen or heard of. It is something entirely different and unique. it will catch you of gaurd when you least expect it comming. it is something that will eat away at you in time. it is something that will tear you to pieces, take every thread of your humanity. drain you of the color of the world and make you lose the flavor that you ever had for life. And like all my pieces of poety i have it will be slow, long and drawn out and most importantly it will become a work of art.

you have angered the wrong person. you will know and experience the new meaning of fear, pain and death. i am not as merciful as others. you will wish that hell will steal you away from my brutal clutches. and in the end i will exact my revenge and that you would fully understand that having 10,000 enemies is better than having Paul on a very angry mood. you know who you are and will keep in mind that i am comming for you, not now, not 5 days from now, but maybe 2 weeks, a month, a year or maybe even after you have forgoten about my exsistance. and that no matter where you hide will be only a breath away from you.

is what i would like to say right now, but who knows? this is just crazy rantings from a brother; not to be taken seriously at all ^_^

may you spend everyday from this day forward like it is your last

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Tue, 07 Feb 2006 22:29:29 GMT

ok looks like i dunno how to make a protected posting at all.

but james seriously man.

i rlly want to pull u out of the mess you got yourself into. i mean yo man if you fuck up seriously man, my parents arent the type to sit there and watch you sit next to my lil sis man. they will 1 call my ass to drag you out physically, then make you wish there was a hell instead the fate that will be brought upon to you. OR 2 they will call the cops have you arrested. put to trial for segratory rape. send you to jail for like 7 years 15 years max. then get but raped like everyday. then when you do manage to get out of jail you will not be allowed to have an IP address, internet, or anything pass a simple calculator as in terms of technology man. and yes they will have a parole officer check on you to see you dont have any of that. also you will be branded as a pedophil which you will never be to remove EVER. it is permanent man. being labeled as a pedophil means you cannot get into a neighborhood unless you have permission from every resident and you will most likely never get a job at all. saying all this do you rlly want the risk of going there?

my parents are very caring and dangerous at the same time. they are hungry tigers waiting for thier prey to fall beneath thier dirty bloody claws.

i tell you this as a very good friend and as someone that sees the potential inside of you. i do not mean for you to give up man. i want you to fight but choose your ground correctly and wisely. fucking the wraith of my parents will ensure u pain that you cannot possobly fathom at all. and if they are merciful you will get a slow but painful death.

say all this i wish you can understand that my parents mean heavy business. they are filipino man >_< they will kill you. they will come at you with a machete. when i was attacked by a dog when i was a child my dad came running back from the hospital and hunted down the dog that tried to do harm to his only son.

i say this as a friend, let me protect you from yourself, from myself, from my parents, and from the cops

i hope you come to understand this and kno i do not have the heart to talk to you stright to your face. i kno u might like to talk to my sister but my parents will have non of this. its one thing i learned from them and it is they are persistant and will get what they want in the end. and if they find out its you chances are it will not be so pleasant.

anyway enjoy the rest of your day (and if you choose the right it wont be limited)

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Sun, 05 Feb 2006 23:51:56 GMT

okay like... so far the starting of school was like whoe!

to start off, this friend of sai. said that she had tickets to like coheed and cambria, but when i checked it out online.... lol they were like in europe and wernt going to have a concert in US until like the end of march. so of coarse i was like hmmm thats funny, that doesnt seem right. so bla bla bla comes to find out that sai's friend tried to fool sai into a mysterious double date, which i find awfully shady.

but thankfully everything went back to normal after the weekend. lol i still make fun of sai from time to time and ask if she's heading to a concert or something. i love her so and sometime i feel guilty of mistrusting her. but i love her so ^_^ nothing matters now.

anyway what else happened? well aside from that my job as president is kinda tough. but hopefully i make a good one. the meeting we had earlier came out good. i had some nice support from the other officers so it made the job easier. without them i dunno what i would do lol.

oh yea i share a chemisty class with sai and from what sai told me some ppl think we are brother and sister..... -_-'' wierd huh? but this isnt the first time i heard of this so whatever. come to think of it i heard it during sai's friends birthday and when amanda, kenzang and me dropped off sai. then again americans sometimes think we all look the same..... we asian what else do we look like >_<

what else??? hmmm oh yea like a few days ago the lab professor shouted out sai in during class and i guess she didnt like that one bit.

anyway this weekend like i went out and chill with sai on friday as usual. no details neccessary

then on saturday, like saiyeda, jen wong, chantel, thomas, kenzang, tolson met up in china town during the chinese new year festival thingy and watched the lion and tiger dance in front of a bunch of stores. then we had malay food, then i was called an embarestment by some malay ppl, and that made me think about how dumb i rlly am. but my resolution will not change man!!!! NO, i will keep acting the way i want to. and if they dont like, then thats tough cookies then.

oh yea i saw this rlly wierd book called "cookie sutra" it was kinda funny seeing a bunch of ginger bread man and woman doing sex positions. a very good coffee table book, if i had coffee and a table.

anyway i gtg lots to do so little time!

Monday, January 09, 2006

Mon, 09 Jan 2006 02:08:37 GMT

Hey whats up guys!!!

How was every1's holidays? Really? Wow... thats a shame...
Anyway. lol i did alot of things over the vacation and it seems it went by sooo fast that everything is in a haze now. i mean like right now is my only day of rest and then much more days of fun and fun fun!

Okay to start off like lets see.... like after christmas i hung out with a bunch of ppl from ACe. went to rockafeller center to see a tree. then had some filipino food afterwards. then went to the village. after that we called it a night.

Hmmm. after that i hung out with sai like everyday. ^_^ i mean everyday. like lets see. was it like 2 fridays ago when me and sai hung out and tried to watch some anime about baking bread. then the next day like we hung out again and the day after that aswell. the details arent important but u can jst say sai and me had a great ass spanking time during the new years.

Soooo after the new years thing i had a little time to rest. >_< guys need rest too! but it was a very manly rest. and so james, kenzang, anthony jimmy and big john and I hung out at my place to have a animethon, supposedly i wanted them to bleed from thier eyes and ears from sitting through like a motherload of anime but most of them didnt have it in them. ok so we like saw like 13 eps of crest from the stars, 2 eps of hand maid may, 2 eps of his or her circumstance. but i also saw like 8 eps of irresponsible captain tylor by myself. soon afterwards everyone was passed out lol, they were punks....

Okay so like after that i hung out with sai some more and somehow along the process i ate filipino food again... i hate her jury duty though. but im jst glad it didnt drag on sooooooo much i mean it was hard seeing her

But yesterday was cool too! like i had malay food again ^_^ i love thier curry. i jst wished that it was sooooooooooo good that it sends me to heaven. THANKS SAI! i hung out with her alot and stuff and it was cool i enjoyed my time together with her. then i saw like two movies with kenzang at my house and i have to say it was pretty much a waste of my time. transporter 2 was cool but i jst wished that it wasa story somehow connected to why he was a transporter in the first place. and the second movie i saw was "Audition" it was some creepy jap flick. it makes me think twice before messng with girls feelings "kiri kiri kiri" ewww

but yea today like both of my sis and i had like this DDR-athon, that pretty much summed up the rest of my day though. i cant wait to see sai again 2morrow though ^_^