fly_leaf_06's Xanga

The perfect opportunity (I couldn't have devised this if I tried!)

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 17:27:27 GMT

Hey bloggers! If there's anyone left on xanga still!

I know that I haven't been on here in forever and a majority of the reason is time; a small part is forgetting; a mediocre part is time.

I have so much to say, and not enough room or time to say it all. I will try to devote my summer to being on here more, and I promise to be 100% genuine in all that I write on here.

Right now, I'm in a correctional secondary school in NC. I am typing on a child's computer while taking a lunch break, and fixing to work once more. I am one of three white people on a team of 20. I am one of three college students that are here to work for the summer, and I am one of three people that claim to be religious in this entire program. I am scared, though I know that I am never alone. I'm the minority. I can't dance. I can't talk like that. I stick out like a sore thumb LOL.

Through it all, I love it here. The team has already taken me in like family, and I am trying my best to make them proud of me already. It's neat though, because being accepted by them is easy! The people here don't judge you like they do anywhere else that I've been. They don't size you up, and they don't look down on you. I praise the Lord for a team like this, because I am the most awkward person that I know LOL

Anyway, I'm going to sign out, but I just wanted to let you know what's happening through the pieces of me.

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Liberty."

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 20:16:42 GMT

2nd Corinthians 3:17

I flippin' love Liberty University!!

Hahaha! I haven't been on here in forever!! So much has happened! Let me give you the synopsis:

*Went through a breakup

*Am now dating the most incredible man of God ever!

*Have a baby brother!

*Love my roommates!

*Went through some trials, and am learning slowly that life is not about me!!

*Had a great Christmas break with the family! Love them!

*Got to go on a journey to a utopia that belongs to me and my love.

*Am seriously hooked on songs redone by chipmunks!!

*Love all but two of my 7 classes on the mountain (not bad!!)

*Can't wait until I can spend time with my Dad again!

That's about it! Here's some pictures to give you the DL

He means the world to me!!

My beautiful roommates and me! Love them!

My beautiful baby brother!

Thankfulness is your appreciation of things that could easily be taken for granted

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 22:04:36 GMT

So it's that time of the semester when Thanksgiving draws near. I'm so excited to see my family again! I'm also going to give my annual list of things that I'm thankful for. This list may differ from previous years and I pray that it does! The Lord is growing me through brokenness and humility; tears and sincerity; selflessness and grace. It's amazing how much you can change in a year.

*The Lord!!! Enough said!

*Family (The Lord has blessed me beyond compare!!)

*Friends (the ones at Liberty, the ones at home, and the ones everywhere and in-between)

*Cars (Having transportation)

*Food (yes, even rot food)

*Good hair days

*Make-up

*Laughter (I love the sound of laughter. It makes me feel good to make others laugh.)

*Smiles

*Kissing (there's something about kissing someone that allows you to connect in a crazy-amazing way!)

*Hugging (hugging is my favorite! Liberty Way hugs need to be longer!)

*Sweet smells (clean, yummy, or guy smells are amazing)

*Pillows! (You can never have enough!)

*Blankets (amazing! I need about 10 in my bed!!)

*Sunshine (The sun on your skin has to be the most calming element ever!)

*Sunrises (if you can wake up in time for them!)

*Sunsets (the colors in a sunset are breath-taking)

*Moments that you can never redo even if you tried!

*Inside jokes (the kind that cause you to burst out laughing in the middle of class while you're taking a test)

*Stars (without stars, there would be no star-gazing)

*Cuddling

*Hoodies

*Hair-ties (because I couldn't function without one on my wrist!)

*Movies

*Photographs

*Music (the violin is the desired instrument of the Lord)

*Instant Messenger

*Taking pictures

*Fall weather (and fall leaves)

*Liberty University (the world's most exciting university)

*Lying next to someone you care about

*The Word of God (for the moments I feel faint, He restores my soul through His word)

*Back-rubs

*The Internet

*Honesty

*Good grades (they are all from the Lord)

*Flip-flops

*Getting a good deal at the store (makes me extremely happy)

*Having edible food at the rot

*Facebook!!

*Myspace

*Xanga

*Journaling

*Poetry (I melt at the sound of it!)

*Understanding my homework

*Getting my homework done way before it's due

*Water (Whether we're swimming in the Liberty fountain or consuming it at the rot; it's kind of a big deal!)

*The ability to love (because you become someone who melts at the mention of their name; you could talk about them for the rest of your life; and you are eager to be with them any choice you have!)

*Cedar Point!

*Horseback riding

*My horses!!

*Spending time with someone you love

*Walking

*Being up at the monogram or the bald spot

*Animals (even the campus squirrels)

*Jeans with holes in the knees (because they make you feel hardcore!)

*Roses

*Code red mountain dew

*Twix

*Gum

*Necklaces

*Earrings

*Wal-Mart (heck yes!!)

*People playing with my hair

*Reading (reading to my sisters warms my heart!)

*Rings

*Dressing up

*Fishy

*Hibiscus flowers

*Beaches

*Swimming

*Eye-liner

*Mirrors

*Stuff that's shiny (yeah!!)

*Dancing

*Youtube

*Prisms

*Lip gloss

*Convocation

*Classes (even if you do sleep through 99.9% of them!!)

*Bunk beds

*Chocolate chip cookie dough

*Considerate people

*People that are willing to let you vent

*People who will tell you when you sound dumb!

*Cell phones

*Bass speakers

*Football games (and Liberty's ability to improve drastically this season!)

*Random adventures

*Helium balloons

*Jazzman's Cafe

*Campus Church

*Getting out of class early

*Not having class at all!!

Wow! I have so much more to put on here!! This is just something to get me started! The Lord has greatly provided for me this semester and this year! I praise the Lord for all of His blessings in my life!! They mean so much to me!!

Shine your light and let the whole world see. We're singing for the glory of the risen king!

Fri, 02 Nov 2007 00:39:39 GMT

Savior, He can move the mountains. My God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save. Forever author of Salvation. He rose and conquored the grave, Jesus conquored the grave!

Hey all! Just wanted to drop a line and write down more poetry...Here it goes again.

I want to breathe you in. Your very presence makes me self-conscience. Your steps make my head turn toward you. I want to be everywhere you are. I desire to know what it feels like to be held by you. I long to hear your voice in my ear whispering

I'm here

I want to spend the rest of my life and beyond with you. Your word is always good. I crave everything you are. Your life is flawless. You've never betrayed me. I long to be yours.

I'm here

I feel so unworthy whenever I'm around you. You're always assuring me when I'm at my lowest. You think I'm beautiful. You know me best and yet love me most. You risked your life for me. You died for me...

I'm here

Broken I run to you for I know you satisfy

Fri, 12 Oct 2007 02:04:48 GMT

I am weary, but I know your touch restores my life.

I'm feeling extremely pensive. In a sense it feels like I've lost a lover or a best friend. My heart was too attached. Attached to something besides the creator and sustainer of my soul. Lord forgive me. I have deprived myself of you.

I feel like writing poetry...here goes.

Your head was held in your hands. Tears flowed in between your fingers. You said that you and her were through. I embraced you and wondered what she was thinking. I wanted you to realize how much more I would care for you. How much I would cherish the time we spent together. How I would never break your heart. I wanted you to see me.

You didn't see.

I tried to be the one. I needed you to say my name like you said hers. I wanted to show you the abundance of my love. I wanted to call you my own. I wanted to embrace you without you thinking of her embrace. I thought you were mine. I wanted you to forget her.

You didn't forget.

You belong to her once more. You said she's changed. I haven't. Is that why we're not together? I needed you to see me like you see her. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I wanted you to smile when you thought about me like that. I loved the times we were together and thought about you constantly.

You didn't.

ChristElizabeth 10/11/07

Some thoughts from the mind of me (scary! I know!)

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 14:51:34 GMT

Hey all!! I'm back! Sorry it's been forever since i've written!

My life has pretty much been boys, school, family, God, and friends. Sadly, that's about the same order...I need to get my priorities in check! Lord, only you can bring me back to you. Transform me into the soldier you know I am!!

Not much else to say except to put in this poem from my breakup a year ago. Inspiration needs to come for poetry to come, and I remember writing this through tears and disbelief. The Lord has healed me, but it's still crazy that I felt this passionately about someone to have it backfire. The Lord was simply showing me that I shouldn't get too caught up and I see that now...but still I wonder why we keep going back to the source of our abuse (in my case, love). Human understanding is so limited compared to the Lords!!! Actually, it's infathomable! Anyway, here's the poem, making it's debut!!

I swallowed hard as I knocked on his door. This door had once been welcoming; just a few inches of wood to separate me from where I wanted to be.

However, now I held my breath as he appeared in the doorway. He smiled and it appeared to be genuine. His hair was longer, and his clothing was new, but those brown eyes still mesmerized me.

I checked his profile as we exchanged a few flirting sentences and it was as if nothing had changed, but then he opened his mouth.

Arrogance flowed from his lips as he spoke, and conceit was in abundance as he did nothing but talk about himself. I stared at his mouth in disbelief, and then downcast my eyes to hide the tears.

Who was this person? How could I have spent so much intelligible conversation with this as the end result? I couldn’t even begin to describe my hurt. This person, whom I gave my whole self to, was treating me as an inconvenience to the rest of his life.

As we parted ways he said that I should hang out with him out of pity. But I shouted back out of hurt.

He left me sitting in my car with my head on the steering wheel while he drove away to something or someone that now upgraded me.

It cut deep, but I’m glad that he stopped before I was beyond repair.

The knife has reached my heart, and only God can successfully remove it.

Okay, so it's a little emo, but I wanted to put this on here to remind me where God has placed me now. I am so in love with him! Lord I love you!!

Lord, Save me From myself!!!!

Sat, 08 Sep 2007 04:44:37 GMT

UGH!!!! Why do I not just listen to the Lord???? I need to be more in tune to that probing on my heart!!! Pray for me as I do what I know the Lord wants me to do!!!

The Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Liberty. 2nd Cor. 3:17

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 23:18:01 GMT

Our strength will rise as we wait upon on the Lord.

I am patiently waiting...okay, I'm not waiting as patiently as I could be, but still...I'm stationary until I hear from him.

I am constantly amazed at him!!! He is the Everlasting God!

So I'm seriously considering ways to not have a pointless summer for next year...

Wed, 11 Jul 2007 01:41:53 GMT

...ugh.

Summer is supposed to be a time to get caught up with friends, become closer with the Lord, and possibly prepare for school.

I didn't plan on going to the same school in the fall, and that scares me now. I cannot picture myself anywhere but there now. I love it there, and I know that the Lord has an incredible plan for this fall!! I'm stoked! Hollar!

Anyway, well since I didn't plan on going back I slacked alot on my assignments for this summer. I haven't been memorizing the assigned scripture for our hall. I haven't been working on prayer leader lessons. Grr. I'm honestly frustrated with myself right now. I could have been doing those things regardless of my plans for the fall, but I slacked alot alot!! Pray for me as I work on making up for lost time. I have alot of work and preparation to do!!!

Well, I am also in love as if now!! I don't know if everyone knew yet, but I'm keeping it on the DL at least for right now. Sigh* He's an amazing guy that makes me feel closer to the Lord and I have honestly never had that. I'm in love and I don't care who knows it LOL.

I've also been spending time with my beloved Mony. I love her so much, and she's been so great through yet another phase in my life. NUUHHH. Well, that's about all! Just wanted to gripe a little and give myself motivation to work extra hard before school!

I love you guys (especially Mez, Mony, Z, and my Alexandra) Mwah*

Even when my eyes are dry; even when my soul is tired...

Fri, 22 Jun 2007 01:36:56 GMT

...Even when my hands are heavy; I will lift them up to you. Lord I am here for you. I exist for you.

Sigh*

*School
*Finances
*Job
*Family
*Friends
*Love
*Missions
*Degree
=tired marks under your eyes, and a unsettledness in your heart.

What happened to waking up and having nothing to do??? I would love to go back to the days of playing with Barbies and getting frustrated with the Etch A Sketch. Gosh!!!!

Oh, and my friend posted this as a bulletin on his Myspace and I thought it was cute!

Instructions for love:
*Holding Hands
Girls :If you want to hold his hand, gently bump into it a couple of
times.
Guys : Grab it if it happens more than once.

*Cuddling
Girls : When you want to cuddle with him, tell him you're cold
Guys : Automatically move closer to her.

*Movies
Girls : During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your head on his shoulder
Guys : Lift her chin up and kiss her.

*Loving each other
Guys : When she tells you she loves you, look deep into her eyes, give her a peck on the lips, and tell her you love her
too... And mean it.

*Laying below the stars
Girls : When you're both laying under the stars, put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady heart beat
Guys : Whisper in her ear and link your hands with hers.