| RebirthI suspect that no one really comes here anymore. Maybe it's really better that way.  This can be like my own private little space; a space that no one really cares to drop by anymore. Or is it? 
After two years of absence from Xanga, this place...feels like home. I choose to differ by stopping Facebook and continue writing my so-called history in here. It has so much memory. But can that even be possible? Memory? Attached to something intangible as cyberspace? The name, forthawdar, itself has familiarity. And familiarity means only one thing; comfort. Ahh! Feels great. You know what this feels like? I'm sure you don't. lol. You wouldn't understand. Don't even try. I feel like the new "me" is talking to the old "me". (If that even makes any sense whatsoever)
As Katsumoto in "The Last Samurai" puts it...
"I belong to the warrior in whom the old ways have joined the new."
So what is the difference between the old and the new "me"? Is there even a difference? I hope so. I mean...I do think so. I want to think so. Part of me wants to change for the better. But part of me loves who I was before. Change - it's always been hard for me. Maybe not for some people. But it's hard for me. I like routine-ness and familiarity. I hate change. And I hate sudden change even more. But nothing stays the same. Nothing is ever constant they say. You never really think about it...until the ugly truth of it stares at you in the face. The world is like the rounded form of the Rubik's Cube - always shifting anything and everything on it, bringing you closer to someone one minute, while tearing you apart from them the other. You change preference and perspective.
But the trouble with most people is, they change and they forget. This part that's forgotten is usually the part where love remains pure and untainted. It's the part where words like "fun", "play" and "friendship" have meaning while words like "money", "competition" and "fame" has less value.
The search, the wandering and the hesitation for me is over. This is...The Rebirth.
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