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| Current music: the sounds of summer
vent. it's nice.
I want to learn on my own. Fuck teachers, fuck parents. How am I supposed to learn or shape into a person if everyone is shoving their own opinions down my throat. Doesn’t that mean that everyone is just a copy of someone else, with every ones opinions and ideas and theories floating around, we really aren’t being an individual. Were just putting a mindset on ourselves that we think is right. Fuck society. Society expects us to grow up to be a lawyer or a doctor or something big and wonderful in this world, but why? So we can make more money and defend those who decided to fuck up there lives because those people realized that they only had a good 60 years input to making it worthwhile. Society looks up to the people who fix up the fuck ups, when we all should be looking up to the people who fucked themselves up. They have experience, they know what life is like, to be taken away from you, to actually taste humanity. So the truth is, everyone making money and living the life that society wants is basically wasting away their life. Which is confusing, but fuck it. I’m happy with who I am, and people keep telling me I’m not trying hard enough. I don’t want to try hard. I want to be me, and even if I am an adolescent whose brain hasn’t fully developed, I still know what I want. I want happiness, I want a group of friends that understand what I mean when I saw fuck the world. And surprisingly I have that. Drugs, such a big fucking deal. Again cops get paid to take away our happiness, if we want to get high then shouldn’t that be up to us? I mean god forbid we decide to smoke a plant that grows from our very own soil, I’m sorry I’m actually taking advantage of nature. Life is supposed to be like this, we are supposed to enjoy every aspect of it. Coke and heroin and all that, I can understand. But a natural herb? An herb that the government decides to give out to people who are “in pain”. Were all in fucking pain, it’s called life. We all need healing we all need to escape, and it’s sick that a group of people got to decide how we got to live our life. Look around, things are alive, you are alive. Your fingers, your mouth creating saliva. Life is beautiful and who is allowed to tell us that we can’t take advantage of it. Society. Government. People, just like you and I, yet they have that superior power and they take damn well advantage of it. Were all really the same, we all have the same chances and heartbreaks, yet were all so cruel. Why does everything revolve around green pieces of paper, why does everything revolve knowledge? Why can’t we all just be happy with the wonders life has given us, were killing this world every minute, but some are so superior they have tricked themselves into thinking were doing something right. We all sit in front of the TV and find that amusing and we all eat chips and soda and act as if it’s okay. Were deteriorating our bodies, but that’s okay. Because the government will put another idea into our head that makes us think we are being right, and were living life the way everyone should want to. Someone dies every second, and someone is born. What if were all just reborn and were all just the same but in different forms, and what if Hindus are right? What if the mistakes we make in our life now reflect on what or who we become in our next life. And what if the Christians are right or the Catholics? What if someone is waiting behind a gate to embrace us even with our mistakes. What if were all just supposed to think on our own? We are. We were created to make mistakes and be able to give others pleasure and pain. And who knows why we are here, maybe there is a God or maybe we should just sit back and enjoy our wonderful world and enjoy life.
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| I don’t really know what to make of who I am. I am simply me, and I am very happy with who I am. But lately, I find myself dazing off and thinking of how pointless my life really is. And I can feel myself being pulled down the road that led me to a very bad place last year. I love my life, I love my family, friends etc. But you take yourself sitting on your bed, and you picture yourself from above and zoom out, all the way into space. Until you can see our planet spinning, and you think to yourself, “what do I matter?” I am just another number. And it depresses me. You look at people like Bin Laden, or Gandhi and they are known worldwide for something you are capable of. And it’s people like them that get known, for either amounts of hate or amounts of love. Both which are in my hands, both I can easily adapt too. Then why? Why do I stop at a simple task, why not go farther? Why not explore the world and take it into my own hands, and think for myself. Why follow the book? The people who have surprised us all and are known to all of us, are people who went on their own. Yet school teaches us to take all of our knowledge from books, and go to college and be the same profession everyone else is choosing. Yet they teach us about amazing historical figures that did the most amazing things, by not doing what our educators are teaching us to do. Does this make any sense?
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