Hi readers-

Much has happened since I posted last. I am married almost 6 months now, 4 months pregnant with my first baby. I feel like I've grown leaps and bounds as far as stepping in to a more responsible role. I can't wait to have my baby and be a mother. Chad and I are doing very well, still madly in love and happy.

I am trying SO HARD to find my goddaughter, Kelli. I haven't spoken with her in a very long time, and all the email addresses she gave me don't work. I couldn't even get a hold of her aunt when I last tried. I would very much like to contact her... I was trying to find her to invite her to the wedding... I wish I knew how she was. I can't find her on any popular websites- I have a strong urge to contact her, like I need to.    

HOLY SHIT!

SO I decided to check xanga today, randomly. Was reading through some old entires. Wow, have things changed. I will not get back on again after this entry, but I wanted to let all my old friends who still use this piece of shit site to know that I'm ENGAGED to be married- wedding's in June. NO, it's not to Bill- that was over in May, officially in July. Chad and I started dating end of July, and I am the happist I've ever been. The family approves and is madly in love with him, we're getting married at St. Marguerite June 30th. 

No, I'm not pregnant. That would suck. I'm simply in love and ready. SO hope you crazy kids are doing as well as I am!

Currently Listening For the Sake of Revenge (Bonus Dvd) By Sonata Arctica see related

All my journals are being cancelled. :) I'll call you if I want you to know something.

Tah tah, and all my love, dahlings!

Currently Listening Much Afraid By Jars of Clay Crazy Times see related

I'm considering switching back to a livejournal. Idk. maybe. It's harder to keep up with people's journals on xanga- my email won't accept my subscriptions. Weirdness.

I'm redying my hair tonight. yay. Though I'm kind of aching to try something new. I'll wait til late in the summer for the gold blonde, butmaybe I should go dark brown or something. any suggestions?

I'm getting REALLY into this book, The Assignment By Mark Andrew Olsen. It's really facinating. All about battling the dark spiritual realm and stuff: "For two thousand years he has wandered the shadows of humanity's blood-stained history, secretly carrying out an ancient mission. Haunyted by grief, longing for heaven yet denied it by the mystery and power of the unforgttable mandate given him, he once again appears..." "The character is amazing. The author took a very original idea and made a fantastic story! I am truly facinated by the subject. I always watch movies like Constantine and such and wish I could fight for God like that. I mean, we fight for God every day, reallly. Behind each one of us is a voice, just waiting to whisper in our ear at the right time to push us the wrong way. But God's angels are there, too. We determine who wins.

FACINATING!

Also, to you who have expressed your worries: I have a healthy diet I am sticking to, so don't worry. I have realized that Suzie and Megan are right: the quality of my life should not be determined by how much I weigh. However, the whole concept is a control issue for me. I'm being careful, I promise.

God, thank You for Bill. He has been such a blessing in my life. Thank you for the support and advice he gives, and for the true friendship he has (You have) brought me. Thank you for the few, true friends I have.. Thank you for my loving family. I pray that I may be the best I can to each of them. 

Without You, God, I have nothing. Please guide me and help me take care of the gifts You have so graciously given me.