forgethesunset's Xanga

Revisting...

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 04:15:21 GMT

Ok so I realize I have not written here in a long time, but I needed to just talk...even if no one is out there listening.

It has been nine months since Drew Howard went to be with Jesus...and what a whirlwind life has been since then.

I am now engaged to the love of my life Ami Pearson, we are set to be married next June 7 (08)...I am also teaching Theater at Grace Christian School, and going to school full time for Education...

It was rough for me for quite some time after Drew died...everything seemed to remind me of him and it was terrible. However lately I have been doing much better...until tonight. His parents posted a new update about how they have been doing...and I just broke down.

It was strange, but somehow I think I needed it...

Anyways be praying for me, if anyone reads this.

Adam

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 13:22:29 GMT

HOLY CRAP!

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 03:46:29 GMT

Oh MY GOSH!!! Saving Athalia (the band I am in) is playing at DORTON ARENA for NEW YEARS EVE!!! OH MY GOSH!!!!!! HOLY CRAPP!!!!

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 23:13:10 GMT

I needed some scholarships, but I did not know what to write. I had to create a 750 word essay for this one place, but I was not sure what to do. But then I decided to create a tribute to Drew. They asked me to write about something that meant something to me, and I know that I should write about his story, and in this way, I want to honor him.

How my life was changed.

I first met him over two years ago, when I was hired to work at Grace Christian School as an aftercare director, and a substitute teacher. He walked into my classroom that first late afternoon, full of energy, and curiosity. See not only was it the first day of class, but I was a new teacher, a new face.
He was six (almost seven) years old, and like most children of that age, he was talkative, and always on the move. Drew didn’t care who you were, if you would talk to him, and play ball, you were his friend.
The policy of the classroom was this; homework was done in the first half hour of class, and then you could be loud and have fun. It was the hardest thing for him to do. He usually got his work done in class, so he had nothing to do when he got to mine. So he would sit there, or take out a ball, and try to roll it quietly on the floor (it did not usually stay quiet).
I am the kind of person who loves kids, and loves to play with them. So playground time was the best for them all because “Mr. Adam” would kick the ball; push them on the swings, or chase them…and just have a lot of fun. Even when he was not in class that day, he would come by to talk with me, to see how I was doing, because he was like that; caring. He loved to be around me, and I him.
So for two years we got to spend time together, me being able to mentor him in the ways of schooling and our Lord, and he teaching me how to have fun, to just accept life as it came. This year however, the opportunity came that I was able to finally go to college, a dream I have always had. I left Grace Christian School, and drove an hour away to become a full time student. I still visited the after school class, to visit with “my kids” as I had begun to call them.
I love theater, always have and always will. I have decided to make that my major, as dreams of being an actor have always filled my head. I was about to leave for a rehearsal, when I received a call from my mother (who works at Grace as a 4th grade assistant) on Thursday September 21st informing me that Drew had been admitted to the hospital.
She told me that Drew had had a low fever Monday and Tuesday of that same week, but Wednesday it had gone away, and he had even gone to school. He came home, played with the family, ate dinner, and went to bed. Thursday his mother came upon him in the midst of violent seizures, and brought him to the hospital.
The doctors said that he was not responding to the anti-seizure medication, and so they had to put him into a drug induced coma. Friday they tried to take him out of the coma, but he was seizing worse, and so they had to put him into a deeper coma. His fever rose over the weekend, to dangerously high temperatures, and the doctors did not know why, or what was plaguing his body.
By Monday the 25th, they had determined that what plagued Drew was a virus, but one that they had never seen before. The little eight year olds condition started to improve, but Wednesday night he suffered two massive heart attacks. The doctors said that the virus had moved to his heart, but that he had suffered no brain damage, and was starting to again get better. But on Thursday, September 28th at 8:18 p.m.; Drew Howard went to be with Jesus. The doctors could not tell the grieving family why their little boy died, only three hours and forty two minutes before his ninth birthday.
What, you ask; could I have learned from this little boy? I tell you this; Drew Howard was a boy who embraced life with open arms, eager to do everything and anything that he could. He loved fiercer and stronger than anyone I have ever known, and died with a peace because he knew that Jesus was in his heart. So this I tell you, I will never forget him, I never could. So I say good bye for now, my little buddy, and rest with Jesus.

Still...

Tue, 03 Oct 2006 06:14:40 GMT

I am sure you are all getting sick of reading my constant emotional babble, but honestly this is the best way I know to let it all out. I was reading the Care Page that Wake Med has set up for Drew and his family, and I was astounded to read the strong message his family posted up there, just after his funeral. I thought I would share what their message was. I added a few notes in paranthesis, so you all could follow along.

*****
Even though our eyes are blurry with tears, our Lord Jesus Christ has become more in focus. The pain is remarkable, but your stories have encouraged us. We feel a double loss in Drew himself and in the absence of a "son" in our home. The inactivity and silence rips at our hearts. We as Drew's parents with his sisters will have to navigate this grief process slowly. We still have a measure of shock after Drew's fever and stomach ache took such a swift and dangerous turn.

So many of you rearranged schedules to greet us last night at Brown-Wynne(funeral home); we were humbled by your efforts and willingness to wait just to hug us. The sheer number of people who were touched by Drew showed us again so much love. Thank you for taking the time to share in our grief and honor our little boy.

And again today, as the four of us drove to church for his funeral, we were staggered by the amount again of those of you kind enough to stop your lives to bring tribute to our precious Drew. We felt your love, compassion, and hurt for us. Thank you for joining our family as we said "good-bye." We assured all of the people who participated in the service that each said exactly as we had hoped. The service was exactly the message we hoped to send: Yes, our family is in a mighty storm that will last our lifetimes, but our focus in the storm is on Jesus Christ.

Peter(Drew's father) updated this page just before he walked in to Drew's room and realized that Drew's heart was failing. Peter requested in that update that regardless of the outcome he wished that God would receive the Glory. We are constantly amazed at how that prayer request was honored. We designed the entire funeral service to show God's glory.

Even though we have a solid assurance that Drew's tender spirit went straight to Jesus's arms at 8:18 Thursday evening, letting go of his beautiful, strong body was unspeakably hard. The finality of the grave is horrifying when looked at outside of Jesus Christ's Resurrection. We are so thankful that Jesus Christ conquered the grave to give us hope!

Tonight, we all four feel weary from the long strain of the past 10 days. Our hope is that the girls will return to school later this week. Peter and I plan to resume our work schedules slowly soon. Many have asked of our needs. Our grief has a physical manifestation right now. Our bodies hurt. The energy many of you saw last night and today came from Jesus Christ alone. We were not acting in our own strength at all.

Please pray for physical strength for all of us. Please pray that our grief will focus only on what we have lost and not venture in any other ways. Please pray for Drew's young friends who are hurting and very confused. Please pray that as hearts have been stirred through our story, the Holy Spirit will draw each to Him.

Without a mighty work, Drew's loss is too costly. Please continue to share the stories with us of how God is using Drew's illness and death for God's glory. They encourage us so much.

Thank you friends and compassionate strangers for lifting up our family continually. Thank you for caring about our pain.

Still, The 5 Howards

I do not know...

Mon, 02 Oct 2006 01:07:36 GMT

It is with the heaviest heart I have ever known, that I sit down and begin to write this. Today has been one of the hardest I have ever had to endure, and I am sure tomorrow will be just as much of a torture. To see him laying there, with a peace I cannot match written upon his face, I could not stop the tears.
I hugged his mother, and she smiled at me, saying "Oh Adam...Drew could never stop talking about you," and I could not take it any more. I let out a sob right there...and I was not concerned about what anyone else thought of me, because for that moment, one last time it was just me and my little buddy Drew.

One thing ran over and over in my head. If I would have waited one more semester, I would have been able to have been there for him. But I did not. I was not there when he needed me, and for that reason alone I know I will forever feel guilty.

To Drew:

Words cannot describe how much I miss you. It seems easy for me to say, but in all actuality, it is the hardest thing of all. To not have you here, to not see your smiling face, to not hear your wonderful laughter, or your encouraging words...it tears me apart. I know you are in a place so wonderful I cannot imagine it, but I am so envious of you. You are so special little buddy, and I regret not having one more chance to tell you so. I love you, and I hope you know that. These tears I cry, although them selfish, are for you, and for your memory. Don't forget about me, because I could never forget about you.

Yours forever,
your big brother Adam.

"Remember 09-28-2006"

It is time....

Thu, 14 Sep 2006 06:10:51 GMT

Ok Ok.....I UNDERSTAND! It is time to update....it had not been that long. Ok well maybe it has. SHHH! Be quiet ;)

So for all of you who do not know, I am attending Campbell University now, and having a pretty good time! I am a theater major, and find it funny when I am referred to as a "Super Freshman,"

or "Freshmore"...I guess I have been here long enough for them to consider me older than my current educational status.

I find that politics has a heavy weight on the judging of roles, and whether or not you are liked in this field. One of my professors (she that will not be named) has taken it upon herself to mutter anti Bush or anti...republican things around me, and it takes everything I have within me not to say anything, because she controls the next four years of my life....you guessed it! She is my advisor as well.

The musical was going decently well until tonight, but I find that I must again face the fact that YES! I have not been classically trained. I understand that. I think that I can manage finding some semblance of a pitch though, without needing those more...schooled then me to point it out at every turn. I will get over this as well, but it slightly irritates me.

Alright so I have an early class tomorrow, but I wanted to share some new pictures of our band, so....get ready!

http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l201/adamhamlin/50-1.jpg
Our band's main shot
(left to right) Adam, Dylan, Evan, Ryan, Paul, Karen

http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l201/adamhamlin/724556-R1-19-4A.jpg
So Serious...

http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l201/adamhamlin/724556-R1-18-5A.jpg
I like this one 'cept what is with Ryan's face?

http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l201/adamhamlin/724556-R1-16-7A.jpg
Oh the angsty rocker pose....LOVE IT

http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l201/adamhamlin/724556-R1-22-1A.jpg
Gotta love the back of Sam's parking lot...

http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l201/adamhamlin/724556-R1-21-2A.jpg
Yah about that...

http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l201/adamhamlin/724556-R1-15-8A.jpg
This pose is really cool too...

http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l201/adamhamlin/724556-R1-12-11A.jpg
Dylan's face is priceless...

http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l201/adamhamlin/724556-R1-11-12A.jpg
Random group shot...

http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l201/adamhamlin/724556-R1-00-23A.jpg
*GASPS* Adam actually looking halfway decent in one? NO WAY

http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l201/adamhamlin/724556-R1-14-9A.jpg
Ryan our band leader....and his Mug shot....let us hope this isn't a sign...

http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l201/adamhamlin/724556-R1-10-13A.jpg
Paul, our base player...stuck in tires?

http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l201/adamhamlin/724556-R1-06-17A.jpg
Another cool shot of Paul

http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l201/adamhamlin/724556-R1-05-18A.jpg
Me...I play the piano and sing in the band...and am I sitting on trash??? I believe so!! Weird....

http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l201/adamhamlin/724556-R1-09-14A.jpg
Evan our sicknasty drummer/Paulister Model

http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l201/adamhamlin/724556-R1-08-15A.jpg
Karen, our wonderful Cello player :D

http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l201/adamhamlin/724556-R1-04-19A.jpg
Dylan, our rythm guitar player and one heck of a funny guy!

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Sun, 02 Jul 2006 14:53:54 GMT

CYT Drama camp is coming up! I am excited about that because I get to teach awesome kids! Although I am not in CYT this year, Ms. Natalie (the director) asked me to come and help out!! I am so happy!!

Ami comes in two weeks!!!!! :) I am really happy about that!!!! It is going to be sooo cool being able to introduce her to my friends here in Raleigh. It is cool :D Two weeks and one hour and five minutes left to go :) (by my time that is lol)

I have been sooo busy! Work is like crazy, I hardly have time to do anything anymore, but I got a call from Campbell last week, asking if I was still interested in going to their school again in the fall, I was like HECK YESSSSS!!!! So I filled out the crap I needed to, and they are looking into scholarships! Isn't that great? I reallllllly want to go!

Anyways, enough rambling! Talk to you later!

~ME

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Sat, 27 May 2006 17:10:11 GMT

We sold our pool table today! It was 8 feet long, a professional table. I got some money for it, which is nice because I need money. So yah....

I worked at a banquet hall last night. I can not believe how many drunk people find me attractive lol. It is quite creepy. I was like "Grandma, you need to go find your table..."
Talk about hurting my pride! ;) But that is ok, because I have Ami, and she loves me, so that is good :P

Our upstairs room is SO empty! I mean without the pool table, the space is so Bare! Oh well, we will find something to put there...

So yah, that is my life!
lol

~ADAM~

ughh

Mon, 15 May 2006 03:18:13 GMT

Does anyone use xanga anymore? I mean seriously...myspace has taken over the planet lol...

Let's see...AMI COMES IN 8 WEEKS AND 2 DAYS!!!! :D:D:D

(She is not feeling well, so if you could pray that would be great!)

Only a few more days of work at the school, so that is both good and bad...VERY tired, but I LOVE those kids, and since I am not returning next year...that is going to be sad...

I am now going to Wake Tech...*gives little finger twirl* whoopdidoo lol...

Anyways my head is throbbing, so I am going to bed.

Night all!

~ADAM~