|
forklift
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Heywood Jablomie
Country: United States
State: Illinois
Metro: Chicago
Birthday: 9/28/1962
Gender: Male
Interests: Hobbies? They're for the weak...seriously, I make a mean jambalaya, play horrible guitar, and tell tasteless jokes...ROCK!!!
Expertise: Rockin' like Dokken...I've also been studying up on all these herbal boob pills they sell on the Web...
Occupation: Bum
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
10/20/2001
 Premium
|
| QUACK QUACK, MO' FO' |
|---|
 |
|
| Guess I should get on the ball...
This week I received a note from a friend's co-worker, saying she enjoyed reading this humble little blog. Which made me think that maybe I should update more. Because it's all for you, kind readers. It's all about you.
So I don't update this as much as I probably should. Fact is, I've been so busy with hockeenight that I haven't had much time for xanga.
So, in the event that I'm not around for a while, I'm going to offer this, which you can pretty much come back and read any time, and apply it to any situation:
GENERIC FORKLIFT RANT
OK, Are you as sick of this shit as I am?
I mean, what the fuck? How many time are they gonna pull this shit on us? It seems like the millionth time this shit has happened. You think by now we would have smartened up.
Still, rather than do the right thing, those bastards take us on one more ride on the shitwagon, and once again, we wind up paying our fare.
Sooner or later, we're going to be fed up, and when that day comes, those bastards won't know what hit 'em. They'll just keep feeding us this shit one more time, because all they know is that we've been living on a steady diet of it for so long. But at some point, we're going to say, "not again!"
I know I'm pretty fed up with this garbage, and I can't be the only one. Are you with me?
It's time for us to finally say "no!" and push back. Maybe one individual can't make a difference, but a bunch of individuals can.
So it's on us to get our shit together. Which is the one thing those bastards fear more than anything, a group of people who have their shit together.
So let's go!
| | |
| Nobody has ever died from shoulder surgery...
Yeah, I know, haven't updated in quite a while. My bad.
All is well here. A month ago today there were four incisions made in my left shoulder, about the size of a dime slot. they went in with a camera and some other goodies, and my labrum (the tendon that holds the biceps muscles to the shoulder) got sewn back together. They also cleaned up my rotator cuff.
I'm out of my sling, and can once again drive a car.
I was able to telecommute for 3 weeks, and have been told that my company is putting a telecommuting plan in place, where I will be able to work from home a couple times a week starting very shortly.
Since I still have one arm at 100%, we've been working on a one-armed cha-cha routine, and have alsu managed to do some one-armed swing, hustle and salsa. The one-armed waltz and foxtrot have been less than successful.
I also spent some time putting together a website devoted to hockey and the Chicago Blackhawks. We're having a lot of fun with it, so far.
So, that's what I've been doing. I'll be less of a derelict, I promise.
| | |
| Forklift, where have you been?
Things have been crazy lately. A little work, a little dancing, a little softball, tearing a little tendon in my little shoulder that requires a little surgery.
Yeah, done tore the tendon that attaches the biceps muscles to my left shoulder. Hurts like hell, thanks for asking.
This Friday, I'm getting arthroscopic surgery on it. They are going to make 4 incisions in my shoulder, and put a scope into my shoulder so they can look around, and put everything back together. The only bad part is that I'll be asleep for the whole thing. I'd like to watch, it all sounds pretty cool.
After that, I'll have my arm in a sling for a month. The first week it'll be all about convalescence. Then, I'll telecommute for 2 weeks. If I had 2 working arms, I wouldn't bother with the telecommute.
Of course, a little perspective helps. There are people who are missing limbs, and I'm getting mine fixed. There are people losing their homes and jobs, and I can work from home for 2 weeks. There are people who have physical problems that can't be fixed. Mine can.
Life is good.
| | |
| What would the title of your autobiography be?
what else?
"OK, Fucko, Listen Up".
I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too! | | |
| 25 YEARS AGO TODAY...
The Chicago Cubs had gotten off to yet another slow start. GM Dallas Green had gotten some decent veteran players, but the team had not really gelled. The Cubs lost another game, and a couple Cubs players got into some verbal sparring, and a little shoving, with some fans. So, when the press showed up to interview Cubs' manager Lee Elia, he had this to say:
"Fuck those fuckin' fans who come out here and say
they're Cub fans that are supposed to be behind you rippin' every fuckin' thing
you do. I'll tell you one fuckin' thing, I hope we get fuckin' hotter than
shit, just to stuff it up them 3,000 fuckin' people that show up every fuckin'
day, because if they're the real Chicago fuckin' fans, they can kiss my fuckin'
ass right downtown and PRINT IT.
"They're really, really behind you around here... my
fuckin' ass. What the fuck am I supposed to do, go out there and let my
fuckin' players get destroyed every day and be quiet about it? For the
fuckin' nickel-dime people who turn up? The motherfuckers don't even
work. That's why they're out at the fuckin' game. They oughta go out
and get a fuckin' job and find out what it's like to go out and earn a fuckin'
living. Eighty-five percent of the fuckin' world is working. The
other fifteen percent come out here. A fuckin' playground for the
cocksuckers. Rip them motherfuckers. Rip them fuckin' cocksuckers
like the fuckin' players. we got guys bustin' their fuckin' ass, and them
fuckin' people boo. And that's the Cubs? My players get around
here. I haven't seen it this fuckin' year. Everybody associated with
this organization have been winners their whole fuckin' life.
Everybody. And the credit is not given in that respect.
"Alright, they don't show because we're 5 and 14...
and unfortunately, that's the criteria of them dumb 15 motherfuckin' percent
that come out to day baseball. The other 85 percent are earning a
living. I tell you, it'll take more than a 5 and 12 or 5 and 14 to destroy
the makeup of this club. I guarantee you that. There's some fuckin'
pros out there that wanna win. But you're stuck in a fuckin' stigma of the
fuckin' Dodgers and the Phillies and the Cardinals and all that cheap
shit. It's unbelievable. It really is. It's a disheartening
fuckin' situation that we're in right now. Anybody who was associated with
the Cub organization four or five years ago that came back and sees the
multitude of progress that's been made will understand that if they're baseball
people, that 5 and 14 doesn't negate all that work. We got 143 fuckin'
games left.
"What I'm tryin' to say is don't rip them fuckin'
guys out there. Rip me. If you wanna rip somebody, rip my fuckin'
ass. But don't rip them fuckin' guys 'cause they're givin' everything they
can give. And right now they're tryin' to do more than God gave 'em, and
that's why we make the simple mistakes. That's exactly why."
That is, in my humble opinion, the most awesome thing in the history of baseball. So, on behalf of the 15%, I wish everyone a happy Lee Elia Day.
you cocksuckers.
Here is where you can hear an .mp3 of the entire rant.
| | |
|
|
