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Thursday, April 10, 2008

Thought

我听得见，也看得见

可惜经过的只有画面

想抓住那一瞬的时间

流过，消失，没有信念

我摸得到，也闻得到

可惜记得的都很潦草

想留住回忆中的美好

闪过，模糊，只剩烦恼

单纯的人都笑得灿烂

就像孩子般天真烂漫

所以我抽的香烟不再淡

天不再蓝

是谁给了谁权利去阻拦

一段感情和两颗心的期盼

是谁给了谁勇气去背叛

一份承诺和两个人的简单

所以我说

单纯的人都笑得灿烂

就像孩子般天真烂漫

所以我懂得什么叫难堪

什么叫承担

平凡，原来才是最自然

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Anniversary

it's been almost three years, amazing that time goes so fast when there were still so many things happened.

my relationship has been always filled up with miseries. from the very beginning it started, it wasnt considered as a formal relationship. then the time when it came to separate and worked as a long-distant one, no one would believe that we could actually make it.

during the almost-two-years separation, we met up for less than five times, and each time it was just about a few weeks. those meet-ups were sweet and bitter, that hi and bye were the hardest things to say.

the longest separation was nine months yet it was the easiest period to go through, because we all knew that was the last one. but i still regret so much about leaving him behind for so long, if i could ever turn back time, i hope that i would never have to leave..

and now we're re-united, finally, life turns its page to a brand new one, it's blank and clean, and waiting for us to write down new love stories.

looking back to what i wrote during these three years, i'm glad that i never gave up my beliefs, and have done everything i promised myself to protect my relationship. from now on, it's about two people's effort together, making compromises, giving consideration and offering forgiveness.

i wish all the best to everyone who deserve to be loved to be as happy as i am now.

Friday, April 04, 2008

Workplace

that's the place where people always get pissed.

today's update is about Jeff..he came back with very upset yet angry face tonight because his stupid department head stood on his nerves again. sometimes i feel bad for him, for a person who is smart and efficient at work, to be under someone who is exactly not is considered a torture. this is not the first time i heard about his unprofessional behaviour, as a senior, his boss is completely ruining the post.

so Jeff decided to be more outspoken next time, despite the fact that he always chose to be quiet at meeting before, which was totally for saving his boss's face. and now he is going to be himself, whenever his boss is making stupid statement or wrong decision, he's going to stand up and correct him, doesnt matter it's in front of others or not. well..i know that sounds a bit impulsive, but if he keeps being quiet and follows whatever he instructs, if anything goes wrong, Jeff will be the one to get blamed. therefore, there is nothing to loss at this point, either to be blamed on his profession or not kissing the boss's ass..which i guess the latter is more forgivable.

imagine your boss's telling you this after half year you work there, "hey, i have nothing left to teach you because you've already learnt everything i know"..damn, how honest yet sad. so, we'll see how it goes in the future when Jeff takes his attitude back, afterall, his top boss is a very intelligent person, it's more likely for him to understand why Jeff does it.

and one more thing, weather here today was very bad, lightnings and thunders non-stop. again, our building got hit and all electronic stuff shut down like that, so freaking horrible..

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Friends

isnt better to read the text in bolded font? =)

i'm like a free bird everyday, wake up in the afternoon and never eat until night. and yes, because of this natural habit, i lost weights and now nail it down to 5Xkg, finally..ahahaa though i think my recent unstable emotion contributed a little bit on the weight loss, i hope that i can still keep it even when i get back to my happy feet again.

anywayz, after 2-day of loud complaints in the blog, i thought it's time to take a break. it doesnt seem too healthy to everyone if my messages are just about releasing anger. plus, i dont think i can let go the stuff if i keep mentioning it, am i right? so, after a few contemplation with my own emotion, i decided to put that down for awhile, as long as nothing provoke me anymore, hahaa..still sounds stubborn no matter what..

and back to the topic, "Friends", is what i refer to the old-time famous soap drama. i've been crazily watching it from Season 1 since last week, and now i'm at Season 6 (4 more to go). a very funny thing about myself is that whenever i watch too much of something in certain language, my speaking habit changes. now i'm totally Friends-style, fast and sarcastic (in more the humor way..i think). as my favourite character is Phoebe and Joey, i've become more Weird and Single-celled now (forget about the craving for food from Joey).

it's just like when i'm here in Singapore for too long, my mandarin tuned into a very funny way, which sometimes when i tried to listen to myself, i couldnt stop laughing as well. my conclusion would be that i'm too good at imitating, which is kind of sad because that mean i dont possess anything strong enough to call it my own. well..who cares, languages are supposed to be used for communication (lame but true), so a little bit of modification shouldnt be that bad i guess, hahaa..

i bet Jeff will notice this very soon since he was once a big fan of Friends too, then he would ask me to stop that cuz my jokes are way too much when a person is tired. hahah..too bad that he has an unemployed wife at home to support. afterall, he's a decent man.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Life

life still goes on as it should, and nothing can make a difference because it's all set. the only thing a human being can go against the power of God is to control your own emotion, that when the thing comes, you try to make yourself look cool and pretend nothing's changed.

yes, it's the same old thing. i said i'm okie, but i lied..some of the parts. i'm truly forgiving to the person i love, yet the rest of the people who got involved, they're so damn cursed.

i know i sound very angry again, but that's not my intention. i dont mean to bring this issue to another level because it will hurt someone that's important to me. i just want to let go the anger in my heart through some peaceful ways, such as writing it out, while they're not allowed to be shown in front of others.

sometimes i'm so scared, i thought i'm going psycho or developing some freaky split characters. but i'm not. i know what i'm doing. whatever i act or i say now is to get this thing over as soon as possible, not for myself though cuz i know i need some more time to digest before completely swallow it.

and "i'm sorry, my friends" i didnt expect so much of response in such a short time, and definitely didnt mean to scare you. thanks for all the support, i really appreciate it.

it's going to be over soon, trust me. it's just this heartbreaking reason i heard disturbs me very much, that's all..

i want to should out loud, "my heart condition shouldnt be used as an excuse, nor to make others feel better!"