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| Sometimes we just can't help but hate how our nature as humans work. Though we are all aware that "we don't know what we have until its gone," we just cant help but commit this same mistake over and over and over again. Sometimes, we realize it when it's wayyy too late. With me it's about a girl. Lol u may think, 'with francis, it's always about a girl.' Well let me tell you that this relationship(or what I did to it at least) was actually the beginning of all my past failures when it came to women; the few relationships that never worked out and the numerous admirations that never bore fruit. I've realized that all of them were just desperate attempts to try to recreate the magic of that very first one. That one girl who made me feel as if I was the last man on earth. That just for being there, I turned her gloomy world into somewhat like heaven. I told her when we parted that being with her had been the best days of my life and until recently, I was thinking that those thoughts were just simply naive conclusions from a 10th grader who didn't know any better. I've been telling a close friend of mine what qualities the perfect girl for me would possess and it just hit me earlier that I had already had what I'm wishing for now. It was too early, we were to young, there were other things to do, I don't know I could come up with every possible excuse but my reason for ending it with her was just plain idiotic. Now I live my life through superficiality without anything solid to stand on/for. I miss the simple gifts, the type that says: 'this is for you, only for you and nobody else.' She brought balance to my life, knew how to soothe my anger and how to extend my happiness. She had only one wish of me and that was for me to stay there for her, and yet I wasn't even smart enough(or strong enough) to do that ONE thing she asked of me. So now I wander around, trying to recapture that whimsical feeling I felt when I was with her, wondering, wishing, waiting. For now I'm just here, not lost, just stuck here. Now I see, I haven't moved on, and there's no one else to blame but me.
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| Just wanna wish everybody a happy new year. 2006 has been a very special year for me. Not because I found a special girl, college, or because I struck it rich. It was special because this past year, I saw the best and worse that I can be. I guess the bad end of the spectrum would be the stuf I did to get all the party out of my system before school started. On the good side, I finally got over all my childish problems from before and have learned to control my demons. ROTC has really taught me about bringing out my best and putting my heart into things that matter the most(this is harder than most would think). I feel like I've made some major progress in my guitar-playing but dnt expect hendrix or clapton anytym soon. Also, I have succeeded in surrounding myself with people who are positive about life(at least when I'm with them). And one more thing, whatever people say, college is sooo great because if u are really pursuing something you really want in life, then it gives you a great feeling when you know that you are one step closer to your dream. I now close the chapter on 2006 but in my heart and mind I keep all the lessons that have come about from it. This year will is filled with promises and opportunities; promises and opportunities that are disguised as challenges. Remember to filter out the past and stop moping about the useless stuff. Think about...no, EXTRACT the present, extract it of all the things that will help u enrich your soul and get rid and/or avoid the things that would cut holes through it. Once again, happy new year to everyone and goodnyt. | | |
| depressing reality of our world today: http://www.darfurgenocide.org/darfur.php
comes to show how the logic of politics sometimes diminishes people's humanity
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| since most of us are goin thru tough times right now tryin to adjust to college and sum other personal stuff, here's some words that can help:
Hope is a state of mind, not of the world. Hope, in this deep and powerful sense, is not the same as joy that things are going well, or willingness to invest in enterprises that are obviously heading for success, but rather an ability to work for something because it is good.
-- Unknown.
It is a fact of life that we find ourselves in unpleasant demoralizing situations which we can neither escape nor control. We can keep our morale and spirits high by using both "coping" and "hoping" humor. Coping humor laughs at the hopelessness in our situation. It gives us the courage to hang in there, but it does not bring hope. The uniqueness of hoping humor lies in its acceptance of life with all its dichotomies, contradictions, and incongruities. It celebrates the hope in human life. From one comes courage, from the other comes inspiration.
-- Cy Eberhart.
“May the love hidden deep inside your heart find the love waiting in your dreams. May the laughter that you find in your tomorrow wipe away the pain you find in your yesterdays.”
“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”
-oscar wilde
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| Cadet De Dios
Air Force ROTC Det 003 | | |
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