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| blah i had to go to skool today to see if they would come back for the year cuz of some stuff that happened last year and stuff. i made a whole fuckin blank trip cuz the person who i was looking for and needed to talk to wasn't even there. so now i have to go back friday and i bet she won't be there again that day. o fuckin well. if they don't let me come back, then i have a one-way ticket to CA; away from this hell hole and into another... we'll see what happens...
Once again, i told my mom i hate her for the 460604746132465406th time. she repeated it back. and she left and i went to sleep...
woke up...
and here i am now... | | |
| i think i passed out last night. i was feeling like hell last night and went to lay down for a few minutes and woke up 8 1/2 hours later.
shower. back to sleep til 1:30.
tv.
food.
computer.
...now... | | |
| man, there is so much shit going through my head right now. too many thought, too many bad emotions. it's literally making me feel sick. i'm fuckin tired of this shit! i'm so confused about so much shit and i don't know what the fuck to do about anything at all. the only thing i can do is just keep it all inside of me and just hope that it goes away over time. I'M SO FUCKED UP! i don't really have anyone who i feel safe talking to about all of this. lindsey and sarah are the only 2 people who i can talk to about stuff, but even when i talk to them i still have a HARD time trying to let it all out. i can talk to lindsey cuz she's like my best friend/big (not fat) sister and i can talk to sarah cuz she kinda know a good bit of where i'm comming from, but neither of them live here... i'm extremly stressed out and getting deeply depressed, again. and no matter what i do or who i talk to, i can't let it out. i almost started crying 7 or 8 times today in less than 3 fuckin hours. and why? A WHOLE BUNCH OF FUCKING REASONS!!! i just feel like i wanna just blow up and take everyone out w/ me! i'm being pushed beyond my breaking point again. and lately i've been starting to think of suicide again... but who cares?! not me, not you, NOT ANY-FUCKIN-ONE!!! who's here to hug me and let me know that everything's going to be alright?! huh?! i'll tell you who, or can you guess? *DING DING DING DING DING* you guessed it; NO ONE!!! SO WHY DO I EVEN FUCKIN CARE?! i don't even fuckin know why. all i know is that one day i'm going to die...and it just may be by my own hand...
but o well, who cares? | | |
| I didn't do much today but just go to the back, and not much really happened these last few days...
Just the same 'ol same 'ol. being bored ya know. and i been trying to put some fuckin music in this fuckin thing, but it won't let me and i can't find any anywhere that'll actually work in here. This fuckin SUX!!!
O well, gues i'll keep tryin.. it's not like i have anything better to do, which is why i need a fuckin JOB!
"Fuk 'Dis Shit!" 
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| I'm honestly PISSED the fuck off right now!
I'm not going to say anything much about it. So if you really care or wanna just be fuckin nosey, then IM me and ask me, and if I know you, fond of you, or like talking to you, then I'll tell you and let you and let you know what the fuck is going on w/ me...
All you others need to know is that I was at the Greek Festival saturday and sunday, and that's when it happened.........and I'm very pissed at myself for it. | | |
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