The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating - in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.
-- Anne Moriss (New York Starbucks customer)
Been away from xanga for a while. Promise to get back to it soon. I just got in yesterday to LA after making the 2000+ miles move from Indiana. Staying with my friend and her newborn baby. I move into my new apartment on Tuesday so hopefully I'll catch up on reading everyone's posts. Cheers y'all.
I've been caught up in the last several posts sharing my two weekends in Chicago, I haven't had much opportunity to reflect. It was nice to see my friend Kien since I haven't seen him in a few years. I met him for the first time when I was living in SF and he showed up at a dance club called Club Universe (where 80% of the men are half naked and sweating on the dance floor) in a button down shirt, khaki's and Doc Marten's. He had just moved to San Francisco from Michigan and you could tell. He has really adopted the SF culture since those days. I met several other San Franciscans through him at the Gay Games (those pictured in earlier posts). It was so nice to be surrounded by really nice and fun gay guys after being so deprived of this type of social interactions in the 5 years I've lived in Indiana. It was like being home again.
I recall a couple years ago, I met up with Kien on his business trip to Chicago. We were shopping on Michigan Avenue. Many of the stores had the revolving door entrances. We were going into a store and I entered the revolving door, only to be surprised by Kien following right behind me into the same wedge! I remember feeling very uncomfortable that another man would violate my space like that. I had been living in Indiana for about 3 years at that point and had developed a very different sense of personal space between men. In reflecting on this experience later on, I became very upset with myself and how I felt towards my friend (I later apologized, even though he didn't sense anything was wrong when we were in the revolving door together). In SF, this would never have been an issue as you routinely kiss, hug, grab your friends' hands or ass on the street. I was bitter and angry with what living in Indiana had done to me.
If I had my way, I would get a job and live in SF because in no other city do I feel this sense of acceptance, safety and community. Ironically, when I was living in the city, I also felt that my life was missing something. I have this fear that if and when I do eventually move back that I will still have this lingering sense that I don't fit it, that the city and its people are not what I want. I've lived in the midwest (Iowa and Indiana) for 8 of the 12 years I've been in the US, so in many ways, I'm a midwesterner. I appreciate many of the qualities of midwestern life, one that isn't necessarily focused on pretension and perfection. Where does one go when no where feels like home?
This last weekend I took off again for Chicago to meet up with friends for the last few days of Gay Games. Kien had several injuries (e.g., stiches on his forehead) and Kerry had a swollen wrist and knee. Because of rain and poor organization, their schedule of events were pretty intense. I got in late Friday and met up with Kerry and Nghe at Sidetrack. The line was long and extended down and around the block (and freakin' past the dumpster). It took me an hour to get in and both of them were enjoying themselves after a couple of drinks. I've never met Nghe before but we quickly got to know each other by teasing and making fun of one another. I don't know Kerry very well either, but we all had a great time chatting and meeting people. I drank way too much, which rarely happens. Sometimes, if I don't pace myself, the alcohol would hit me pretty suddenly, and that was what happened. It was just me and Kerry when the bar closed, so we went for some breakfast to give me some time to sober up. I was so ill, I took two bites of the french toast.
On Saturday, I went with Nghe to the closing ceremony at Wrigley Field (home of the Cubs, my first time there). He wasn't in the games so he sat with me on the upper deck. I didn't bring my camera...again! I blame it on the fact that the hotel I could afford was in bumfuck Elmhurst, some 20+ miles away. By the time I realized that I didn't have my camera, it was too late to turn back and get it. In any case, thanks to flickr and youtube, I am able to show you pictures and clips from the event. I don't think the closing event was as well attended as the opening ceremony. Nevertheless...I thought the performances were great, especially Cyndi Lauper. She was the last act and was accompanied only by a violin. The crowd gave her a standing ovation throughout the two songs that she performed (she opened with "True Colors" and then performed "Shine"). Tacky...but great outfit, no?
Here's a clip of the closing ceremony. You can fast forward to the end to watch Cyndi, although some other notable performances include Poppy Champlin (lesbian comedian; "Lesbians are like stamps. You lick us once and we stick") and a reenactment of Brokeback Mountain by the DC Cowboys. The version of "True Colors" that Cyndi performed is similar to this one here. The violinist started to play before she appeared and everyone went crazy.
After the ceremony, we hung out in Boyztown for a little bit and had a bite to eat. Then it was back to our hotel for a disco nap and a shower. Later that night, we returned to Sidetrack and then to Roscoes. We closed Roscoes down and then went to Charlie's, which I would highly recommend if you're up for after hour partying. The place is a little dumpy (it's a country line dance bar on many other days of the week), but the music is amazing and very high NRG. I really think a good packed place makes for very good energy. The crowd is a good mix of people, so you don't just get half naked circuit boys (not that there's anything wrong with that; just that we weren't in the mood to pay $80 to go to the Manny Lehman event). Over the dance floor, they have these huge pipes that pump out really (REALLY!) cold air and fog onto the crowd. This was coordinated with the music such that when the music climaxed, the cold air went off. It seriously felt like you walked into a freezer and the fog is so thick I couldn't see my own hands in front of me. Anyone else been to Charlie's? It's worth a trip.
Here's Pete, Kerry and Panda at Sidetrack
Andy (oops I blinked), Nghe, Kerry, Pete and Kien (making a face again)
Kien (I have a scar) and Nghe being friendly
Well...I'm going to start to train for Cologne 2010. Anyone want to train with me? I can pick up physique or water polo in 4 years, couldn't I?
EDIT: hmm....what to make of the second comment to this post?
My friend C and her husband just welcomed their very first new baby boy. Cruise on over to her xanga site to congratulate them!
I'll write about my revisit back to Chicago this weekend to spend more time with friends. New pictures to post and I saw Cyndi Lauper at the closing ceremony! Hope to catch up on reading your new entries and replying to comments. Cheers....
On Sunday, I made it out to Chicago to hang out with my friend Kien who is competing in the Gay Games VII and to see Margaret Cho perform. I was surprised to read that some 12,000 athletes (from 65 countries) were in attendance. I didn't go to the opening ceremony, but Kien and others told me the attendance was great and their experience of walking out into Soldier Field was amazing. Mayor Daley gave a great speech, some of which you can read here and performers included Margaret Cho, Jody Watley, Erasure's Andy Bell and Megan Mullally.
Sunday afternoon was spent watching Kien in track and field events. There was a heat wave and I spent most of it sitting under the shade and chatting with another San Franciscan, Kerry (he's a softball player). I took very few pictures over the weekend. I don't know what I was thinking. I need a tutorial by whonose, who seems to be terrific about taking lots of pictures (especially gawker pictures). In any case, here's one of the four by two relay. You can see Kien in his little tighty things (what are they called anyways?), with his back facing us in Lane 3.
Later that night, we went to see the fabulous Margaret Cho perform at the Chicago Theatre. I had heard it was a "best of" show, but it was nice to see that more than half of her show contained material I haven't seen. My favorite had to be when she talked about her distaste for very thick penises, and her subsequent impression of going down on it by nibbling around the whole perimeter. You kinda had to be there...I wish I had shot that segment instead of this one. This one is of her talking about being served "Asian Chicken Salad" on a plane ride. She looks great, doesn't she?
After the performance, we bar hopped in Boystown. The streets and bars were packed for a Sunday night. We went first to Roscoe's and then to Sidetrack. At Roscoe's I had a celebrity sighting and saw Tyler from the current Real World Key West. We all got pleasantly drunk...especially Kien. Here he is making silly faces with Kerry.
All in all, it was a great trip. I think I will make it back this weekend to go to the closing ceremony and/or a party or two. Cyndi Lauper will be performing at the closing ceremony. I saw her once at a club in San Francisco. You should ask me to do the dance she did, as mascara ran down her face!
