"So how do you pick up chicks in Asia?" my friend Ed asked me.

"You just wear your US passport around your neck."

Perhaps because I so rarely fire up the grey matter in time to find humor outside of sarcasm (the easiest form of humor, I believe, because it entails simply stating the opposite of what you truly intend), he took me seriously.  And that's why he thought xiaotang would be a local Shanghai girl that I had reeled in with the passport mojo.

So for the record, just because I met my girlfriend in Shanghai does not make her a green card-obsessed pig-tailed local Chinese girl who wears "PLEY-BOY" sweatshirts.  Quite the contrary -- her apparel of choice these days is a full-length down bubble-jacket with faux fur from Shaoyang market.

Usually she writes these updates because I'm on the plane back to HK.  This time since she's flying back to Shanghai (delayed flight I just found out) I will do the honors...

Tanya flew in last Saturday night, immediately after which we had dinner at The Oyster & Wine Bar at the Shangri-la.  Impressed by her wine selection - a Cakebread(?) Sauvignon Blanc, which was one of the best whites I've had.  Usually I'm a stickler for reds.  We picked out six types of oysters to try (I never knew there were so many varieties of oysters and flavors.  My favorites, I have come to realize, are the sweet and fruity ones, to which I had a crapload of tabasco and vinegar, so that it tastes like a squishy wonton).  We then shared the foie gras, I had the seafood squid ink pasta, and I forgot what she had (sorry babe).

Afterwards we went to Felix, the bar at the Peninsula for a quick drink.  The elevator going up to bar was much more impressive than the bar decor itself.

On Sunday we went to Japan for a quick two-day trip.  Every time I go to Japan I'm amazed at how clean everything is.  Clean and orderly, the exact opposite of China.  Our hotel - the Seiyo Ginza - was awesome.  For a Japanese hotel room it was huge.  It even had a vanity mirror area where you could preen and put on makeup a la one of those dressing rooms you see in the movies.  Uh not that I used it.

We went to kaiseki (sp?) for dinner with Tanya's friends Roy, Kyoko, Masa and Natsuko, and my ex-girlfriend Meg.  Her ex-boyfriend Mark couldn't make it because he was at work, otherwise it would have been an exceedingly awkward meeting of the exes.  Haha.  Basically kaiseki is where you are served all these tiny courses, each in a perfect little dish that was probably handcrafted by midget Chinese laborers for that purpose.  One of the courses was fugu (blowfish).  Sounds dangerous, huh?  Well, it looked and tasted like a chicken mcnugget. 

I made the heinous mistake of referring to Tanya as "Me-. . . Tanya" during a snippet of conversation.  I didn't think anyone else picked up on it, but afterwards T sure did.  Oh you can bet she did.  Well actually she found it funny more than anything else (one of the many reasons she ROCKS!!).  However, as penance I will have to watch Brokeback Mountain with her.  And keep my eyes open during the gay love scenes.  Goddamn.