i feel numb, like i don't know what to do. everything has been thrown at me soo fast, idk what to think or feel or even react. I'm in a awkward state of mind, and just so dazed.

i miss you already<3

rip Jason imy<3

its probably been a year since i've wrote in this thing. but oh well. its so weird my brother just graduated from high school... idk what to think. and jason's leaving for iraq in like 4 days. im so scared i don't think i've ever been so scared in my life. i'm doing a pretty good job at hiding it so far. i hope i'll be okay this summer, i want it to be a good one. but its hard to see that possible with jason on my mind the whole time. i've cried the past 2 weeks every night. i don't want him to go away for a year. i know he'll be safe. he has to be. he is strong. its just a year of our lives that i wont be seeing him and that kills me so much. and i don't think anyone understands. no one. he means the absolutle world to me. whether he knows it or not. he does, and im going to be wreck im scared i don't want to lose my friends. and i don't want to change because of it but im gunna need some people to lean on and i know who some of those people are already. and im sooooo greatful.

Wowww, so soccer started. Pretty gay. I have a feeling im not going to like it already considering its gay. Whatever.idc

Summers over, i want to get fucked uppppp.

But soccer comes in the way eff that, so no boy.

yeahh idk, friends are pretty beat. Idk, i guess im too cool for them ajaja., yeah whatev

Ohhhhh wow, well lifes goooddddd.

I haveee my boy, and my best friend. And no enimies. And the fucking best summer everrrr.

Sooooo goood!

sooo, summer is coming.

i've changed so much, im probably going to fucking party every night. i promised myself i wouldnt be this wayyy hahaaha, whatevvv bitchh.

having the best time ever, lovinnn my friends.  this weekends going to be fuckingg crazy. thennn school is practically over. so stoked.

we talked today and it made me happy, i signed your year book. im glad we're okay.

ahaha ohh and me and my babiii gurll getttinnn fuckkdddd up!