| | To All My Loyal Fans, All 3 Of You...
Sorry for not
writing. I just felt like no one cares. But, it's time to be funny
again. I've been writing new material, getting back into the clubs
scene, and I even have my own show next Thursday. (Shameless plug)
So yeah, come out, it'll be a good show. Time to attempt to be funny...
Gay MarriageAlrighty, so in Texas, an ammendmant to the
Texas constitution was passed to define marriage as between a man and a
woman and ban same sex civil unions. I looked it up in Webster's
Dictionary:
mar·riage
n.
1.
1. The legal union of a man and woman as husband and wife.
2. The state of being married; wedlock.
3. A common-law marriage.
4. A union between two persons having the customary but usually not the legal
force of marriage: a same-sex marriage.
2. A wedding.
3. A close union: “the most successful marriage of beauty and blood in mainstream
comics” (Lloyd Rose).
4. Games. The combination of the king and queen of the same suit, as in pinochle.
So ... according to ye olde english dictionary, marriage is already
defined as a legal union between a man and a woman. However, it does
have a definition for same sex marriage. How is it that the definition
of the word accommodates both, but the law can't? I don't even know why
gay people want to be married. Marriage is just someone telling you
what to do. If I wanted someone telling me what to do, I'd just vote
Republican. Marriage is an institution.
in·sti·tu·tion
A place for the care of persons who are destitute, disabled, or mentally ill.
So ... MARRIAGE IS FOR RETARDS!!!!! So then if married people are
retarded .... then that means that unmarried people are normal. So if a
gay person is not allowed to be married, that means they can't be
retarded, which means they are normal, which means that homosexuality
is a normal phenomenon.
Now, again, I in no way condone or speak out against homosexuality. All
I know is that it's here, and it doesn't look like it's going away
anytime soon.
Identity TheftSomeone
stole my ID. Who would want to be me? I'm unemployed, can't get a date,
I live with my parents. How pathetic is someone's life that mine is
actually an upgrade? I'll bet as soon as he became me, he got a face
full of acne and a collection of "Weird Al" Yankovic CDs.
I don't know why people complain about ID theft. Now, I can steal Tom
Cruise's ID. I'd date Katy Holmes, and when I got her pregnant, I'd
steal Brad Pitt's ID.
Is that enough funny to tide people over for a while?
|
| | Posted 11/10/2005 5:08 PM - 1 view - 1 comments
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