gebomato's Xanga

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Tue, 20 May 2008 06:45:35 GMT

I've been up late these past few days losing sleep on what most people would consider to be nonsense. I've been working pretty hard these past few months for long hours and little self time. I've been losing track of friends, free time, and including loved ones, it really bothers me how far I've grown apart to those i've held really deer to me.

I have been scared of that this would happen my whole life. I knew that one day I would find my greatest passion in life. I would persue it with full heart and have the greatest of trouble holding onto those i highly regard and treasure... I

i've been looking at pictures of friends that i think fondly of. I see how they are growing, i hear stories of what they're doing, and know deeply in my heart that I wish I was with them in their times of greatness. I really find peace and happiness in the success of those close to me... as if my prayers are being answered every day

i'll finish this another time thinking about this topic... drains me

soo many people... =\

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Thu, 08 May 2008 06:43:34 GMT

"When you know what you want the whole world conspires you to achieve it"

-Paulo Coelho

Random thought before I make a real entry

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 02:25:52 GMT

In my field of work I've learned that somethings can never be fixed no matter how much of myself I put into it... so it's best to leave it alone and start over... you have no time to waste.

Random thoughts as of lately

Sun, 21 Oct 2007 20:36:39 GMT

1.) God doesn't help you get what you want but gives you what you need.

2.) I feel very free lately. I think that all the bad karma of a previous life has nearly run out.

3.) Advice: Sometimes you have to do things in your own best interest. Be able to balance selflessness and selfishness accordingly.

4.) I've been pretty hard on myself and I think that I've been looking at life all wrong. As weird as this sounds, forget regret, forgive yourself, and accept that you will die. This sounds very morbid, but if you are able to do those things I think you'll be able to look at life through rose colored glasses.

5.) Accepting death. I swear I've heard that 'life is too short' a million times, but it never really sank in as much as i thought. I've always been driven to explore what the world offers and it just so happends my passions in the arts have lead me to a career that'll alow me to do everything I've always wanted.

6.) There's just one thing that would make my life better... but unfortunatley I'm too proud to admit it. It's because I suck at it.

7.) Advice: Be unconditional.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Sat, 18 Aug 2007 19:00:41 GMT

You better be partying your ass off Bro.

Salute.

-to brother Joe. he's happy he's jolly. he's F*d up bygolly~

Godsmack - Voodoo

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 04:35:11 GMT

Where life is more terrible than death, it is the truest valor to dare to live

Filipino Talk

Wed, 30 May 2007 11:40:44 GMT

Upon returning from California I noticed that if you speak to a filipino worker in tagalog, they refrain from conversing with you in tagalog and instead use their broken english...

However here in Texas, if you start speaking spanish to a hispanic worker, they'll gladly respond in spanish.

I find it disheartening how a culture struggles for its exhistence and yet it refuses to communicate the language that which defines it...

Of course there are some factors to consider... that the filipino speaks a different dialect of filipino or the hispanic worker knows only english... lol

What has the world done to us?! For those of you that do not know about Filipino History, here is a brief explanation.

***you can skip this part if you don't want to read it

Over centuries the Filipino has been colonized, reculturalized, and has grown so caught up in media, that we have had so many cultures at once influence our characteristics and beliefs, which has led us to be the single race that is a melting pot for others cultures. Think about it as a 3rd cultured kid. One born in Korea, raised in the Philippines, but went to an american-international school and can speak more than 3 languages. The Filipino is like that but more. We are, Spanish, Chinese, American, a little Japanese, & lots of Malay descent. With all of the aforementioned in mind, it wasn't til the 1950's when the world slapped us in the face once again, only to say that due to all of the assimilation into foreign cultures, the Filipino is a dying culture. What happend next and is still going on to this day, is that the Filipino fights to survive and create their own place in this world, their own identity.

I think this can sort of explain why Filipino's have cliques. if you need an explanation please say so

Anywho back on topic, in a modern day and age with the rise of Asian Americans understanding and fighting to create an identity in the U.S., it is incredibley more difficult for a Filipino to aknowledge their being. After centuries of being told who they should be and what they are, they must now overcome another struggle in america.

I hate to say it, but if the American Filipino were to find peace, logically they would have to overcome this persuit of being Filipino and instead embrace the new asian-american culture... unfortunately we aren't logical.

We are too determined to find ourselves. We are incredibley gifted and blessed by the cultures that have created us. We are passionate about our inner beauty that the world does not aknowledge. Call us Bohemians of the modern age for we are everything that everybody is not and we can love more in life that any artists can paint or sing about. We are the rennaisance men and women of today, where our art has it's own purpose much like Bernini or Michaelangelo. We are artists that not only portray life, beauty, and love, but also our reason of exhistence.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Tue, 22 May 2007 08:50:10 GMT

1. Like us guys, girls shake after they pee!!! It's gross I know but I always thought just guys do the jig after they relieve themselves!

2. .Put nuts like cashews or peanuts into the meat when you are making burgers. It adds texture and protein.

3. I've been watching westerns lately only to confirm what the majority of the world already believes. Yul Brynner is great performer, Clint Eastwood is my hero, and John Wayne is a bad ass

4. Don't eat at Miyako... Eat at Kubo's nuff said

5. I bought gas on the "Do not buy gas day so gas prices will go down"... few days after gas prices rose from $2.80 in my area to $3.05. People are sofa king wetodded.

6. My healthy eating habits are coming back to me just yesterday. I really thought that willpower would deter me from eating crap, but really it's my body that rejects it... now if only I can stop drinking again.

7. I'm so blind sometimes...

8. Blessings and Luck for Gireesh Shintri, a brother who's a Marine and is heading off to Iraq.

So I ended up not disappearing...

Sun, 13 May 2007 19:19:56 GMT

I've been having a great weekend.

Friday highlight

-After an intense night of socializing and getting drunk... nothing made the night feel complete like a Hooka did

Saturday highlight

-Went sailing for the day with my brother and sister for her birthday.

-partied at club status with my bro, sis, jc&annie, jessey, tony, nyda bro from cmu.... and then ended the night having 2 am Breakfast.......

Sunday highlight

-Food....

- got to chill with my best friend since childhood. who by the way played for cougars number 20 jason davis.

Well, since lots of people have migrated away from xanga...

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 01:09:45 GMT

i might as well go ahead and let everyone know that i think i need to disappear again. for those of you that don't know, every once in a while i make a willful decision to just disappear. it's kind of seasonal for me...

in that time i step back from whatever life im living, reassess what direction i am going, formulate a plan, and somewhere in between accept what has happend, accept who i have become, and then move forward.

i'm certain everyone does this in some form or another...

if you cycle with me... i'll ride as a team... eventually i fall back... so i can ride alone.

After finishing the 178 mile bike ride from houston to austin, i was changed. for a few days i felt free. it was a feeling i haven't had since i last layed under the stars and on the white sands of boracay. the crisp clarity of that horizon and that brightly lit sky, was the same feeling as the enveloping winds of the plains of texas on my skin. i felt whole. and i hate to sound sentimental... but i felt in love. it was a definate high that i wished lasted longer. after coming back to houston and getting involved with the many things which i refute to be my reality... that high felt like it was forgotten.

my mother tells me since i was a kid i have been surprisingly mature for my age. am i really that mature? or am i still a child? to this day she still calls me an idiot. i can honestly not tell. i just want to find peace.