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geetarchik88
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Name: Miluska
Birthday: 6/23/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: i love playing lacrosse, the electric guitar, listening to Offspring, Sublime or Santana, watching tv, going outdoors, the beach, the sun, bon-fires, slipn'slides
Expertise: Playing badass solos on the electric guitar, and sprintinf my butt off when i want to.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Medical
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  Gueetarchika07
Member Since:
5/24/2005
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| Ji is the coolest roomate!...are u happy Ji, ur in my xanga?...hehe
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| I'm back...Hahah, so i'm sitting in front of my computer trying to work on a ten page paper for my ENG101 class, and all of a sudden i start to reminisce old times. I figure that this would be the best place along with webshots to see how i have changed throughout the past couple of years. It feels kind off silly, being back here writing about my life like Carri from Sex and the City, but it's nice at the same time. Well it has been a couple of months and now I'm in college, attending College Park. Did i ever think i'd end up here? Absolutely not! but the thing is that like my last entry, you have very little control of what goes on in your life. I'm actually pretty happy that I ended up in College Park. There are several hot guys, very smart people, and i'm close to my friends and family. So it wasn't so bad after all.
Well let me catch you up on what has been going on in my life, since i know i'll probably come back to this sometime when I'm older to reminisce again.
Summer. Let me tell you about summer, it was pretty crazy. I didn't get to go senior week, but it''s fine cuz i doubt i would have had fun. Instead my parent took me and my friend Heather to Punta Cana in the Caribbeans. We went to this beatiful resort loaded with hot european guys...i swear it was like heaven. Food, drinks, palm trees, crystal clear water, eveything that i love. The first night was pretty crazy. I friend and I decided to take advantage of all the amenities, thsu indulging in all the food and drinks we could get as well as dancing our butts off on the resorts discoteque. At the club we met a couple of interesting people, two French boys, a couple of Aussis, Spaniards and this guy from Russia, named Antoinne. Me and my friend were working hte floor OM style, and kinda getting a good amount of attention, then Antoinne comes to dance with me and things get a little crazy, and unfortunately my parents had been at the club watching the whole time. So when i looked up it was a bit too late to play it off, i grabbend my friend's hand and ran to our room, and was sooo scared it was a nightmare...i mena the fact that my parents had seen all of that, cuz antoinne was hot. The next day was pretty tense. we were taking a tour on ATV's, and to my luck, i tried to race our guides, who at the same time were hitting on me like i dont know what, and i flew off a hill into a river with the ATV. So now, my parent were mad at me for wrecking an ATV, that they'd probably have to pay to fix and for being a complete slut on the dance floor. Luckily, the ATV was ok, but i still had to face my parents for what had happened the night before. I completely ruined my parents trust, but they decided they were not going to be so harsh fro the sake of the trip. For the rest of the time i enjoyed myself, eating, tanning and parasailing. Thursday came and we went to the club, but i had seen Antoinne earlier and decided to let him now what happened that night. He was cool about it, and not mention he had a deep sexy voice with an accent. At the club, me and my friend made sure to look at the door to make sure my parent would not show up again. I figured, i'm on vacation, i'm typically always on my best behavior, so i let the bad girl in me out a bit. I danced and flirted a bit with him and had fun. The only drawback was that he was a smoker, so it was a bit gross, but he was hot, so i managed. We danced till 3am and then he and his friends got the idea to go swimming in the ocean now. The real me would probably say no, but i was already in trouble so i figured why not. I called my parents told i was back in our room, and changed into my bathing suit and left to meet up with our new friends. Antoinne was telling me of how he played soccer and swam and started saying sweet nothings into my ear in russian once we got in. I swear it was a typical Olsen Twin romantic movie, but as much as it was nice to have some hot foreigner holding me in the beautiful water under the moon, it was like whatever to me. i didnt have feelings for the guy, so once i left, it was nothing more than a new memory and fun experience. the next day we flew back home and for the rest of the summer i had to work at BIOPARK.
Here i met, Jay, i pretty cute science geek who i spent my time doing laboratory experiments. He was two years older, but the only guy who was closer to my age, so i mean i couldn't only think of science the whole time i was working. We flirted some, very innocently and that was it. We are still good friends, and he is a great, smart guy.
College starts. I was a bit scared, did not know what to expect. Coming into college i figured everybody drinks parties, etc, and since i never did it and there was no classes the first, i decided to party a bit. I met a girl named Ana from Florida, and she was sooo social. We got along great, and went to 3 to 5 parties a night, atleast for the fist two. The second night, we where invited to this party at some apartment from some guy i had met earlier that day, Andrew. He was gonna come pick me up and some of the girls in the floor. Since he wasnt coming until a bit later, Ana and i decided to go around and see what else was going. This is when we went to the 3rd floor. At the door, I met a silly tall boy by the name of Justin. For some reason, he would not leave me and just wanted to talk to me. He has gone to Chile over the summer, and was fascinated by the fact that i was peruvian. Conversation with him was actaully pretty engaging as much as he was very drunk and lacked a contact. Later he decided to come with me to the next party ana and i were going to, and he talked ot me the whole night. He constantly said how he wanted to know me more and had to remember my name. HE even asked to write it on his forehead, but i refused and just wrote it on his hand.We finally leave him, head to the next party and he texts me. At this point i'm very nonchalant about it, and figure he is just drunk. Next morning comes, and the first phone call i get is from him. now he was sober and he was asking if he could talked to me. I thought about it and asked my friend to come with. We went to his place, where we watch White Castle. He was a pretty nice guy. The whole time there, he was trying to hold my hand, and it was cute. We talked a bit and i guess we connected. That's when we sat at the bench in front of my building and asked me to tell him something about me from high school. I told him i was valedictorian and he for some reason liked that a lot. we continued talking and then he looked at me and gave me a kiss. It was cute. For the next days we saw a lot of each other and two weeks or a week passed by and he invited my to go Kayaking in Annapolis. I'm very outdoorsy, so i loved that and then he took to this beach-like section, and asked me out. I sooo did not want to date anyone the first year of college, but he was soo nice that i did not know what to do. he obviously liked me a lot, and all i was doing was trying to have fun, but i didnt want to throw away the opportunity, i mean he was such a gentleman, and not bad-looking.I agreed under terms and conditions, and surprising he agreed to abide by them. It has now been about seven months after the fact, and we are still together. It has not been great the whole time, bur for some reason we are still together. It was hard for me, because once he popped the L-bomb after out 4 months during our ski trip to VT, i didn't know what i felt. He really liked me, or loved me, but the thoughts of my past experiences came back and i just thought what if this turns out like it did before. It couldn't this time we didnt rush anything, and he respected me. I say i love him, but i dont know sometimes, i guess it comes and goes. At the same time, I'm glad my feelings for him are'nt as strong as his are, because that way i can't be that hurt if something happens.
That is all, i have updated and the past couple of months....its funny all my entries make me sound boy-crazy, i promise there is a lot more to me. Most people don't have the full scope of who i am, but it is alwasys good to have a bit of a mystery. Maybe i write about boys, because it's what brings about more juicy details, but who knows.
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| Well it's definitely been a while since i've made an entry, because it seems that the only times i actually write something, is when i have a heartbreak or I'm supposely in love or cloud 9. So, this entry will definitely be different, because at the moment yah in still single, and well I'm not a player or anything so it's not like in living it up, but im having fun with friends. The past couple of months since the last time i wrote, where i was depressed for a lack of a better term, have been kindoff like an emotional rollercoaster. Mostly it consisted of my mind playing games on me. Applying to college and making one of the most important decisions of my life was definitely somthing. I mean things this year have not turned out like i expected, but thats not bad. Things have just taken another turn and I trust that God has me on the right path. It seems that this year has taken a turn on me and i had no control over several situations. Might i add that i always feel that i have to be in control over what happens, thats why it was such an emotional rollercoaster for me. In school a lot of things that occured all of a sudden seemed so petty and beneath me, but i felt trapped and had to be between the mature and still a kid phase. Oh and being in my Food and Nutrition class is definitely no help. Having to be trapped in a room full of freshmen ghetto kids with a fat ghetto teacher, feels like i'm a freaking zoo. Othe kids in my class, the seniors, well i dunno it seems like they take their senior year in a whole differnt light than i do. I mean i hear stories of them getting drunk everything weekend and whatnot. This i really do not understand.Yes, i have drunk like once in my before or whatever, but i dont understand what is the reason behind drinking every weekend to get that disgusting feeling. I honestly feel that at this point, i dont even want to drink. When i did it before, that one time, it was because i was an adolescent trying to experience new things, but i learned from my experience enough to not want to do it again. Well, i guess i cant really understand what goes through other people's mind, but it just doesnt make no sense to me. Which also goes along with me no having any idea what goes though guy's minds. Honestly, men must be the most complicated, hard to understand species. Things they do in a short period of time, and how they change is quite facinating yet, saddening thing to watch. Unfortunately i had to watch (i'll call him an) aquaintance,( cuz at a point we were friends but whatever), go through the wrong path, but yet his happy, which ruins the whole concept of Karma. Well, I dunno i guess that i may have doubted who i am a couple of times this year. I have always considered myself to be storng and not effected by bad things that may occur, but this year i started doubting that people may not like because of where i come from and no matter how hard i try to be something and make something of myself, people will always have me labeled and i will always be trapped. i guess all i have left is to ignore those feelings, but continue to strive and hope that things will fall in place eventually. | | |
| Well as most of you readers know, i use this as a tool to relieve me of thoughts i have in my mind. It's been a while since i've writen and partly because my feelings have not changed that much. Sorry to jump around everywhere throughout this entry, but i just write my thoughts as they come. My last entry talked about how i would finally like to be loved like i love, and that is a feeling i know most people probably want. From that last entry, i dont know whether it's my head that pulls tricks on me or whatever, but i have felt that i've gottten hurt, and my immediate response is well im going to completely forget about what has happened and just go on with my life. I mean that is sooo easy to say, and maybe it can work for just a bit or maybe you dont feel what you did as much, but there is no way of erasing it. And honestly i would not like to erase those great memories, they were absolutely great and that what makes it soo hard to forget now. Like, how is it possible for two people who once were inseperable to be just like strangers now. How can it change soo much? This probably is just me who feels this way, and i honestly dont know why i just can't forget. As hard as i try, i can probably go a week or so, but then there is something that is just not letting me move on. You say we are friends, but what does friends mean to you. I, for one think of friends as people you hang out with, care about and are compassionate towards them. Now, if you dont think this is it, then how in the world do you manage to just forget and turn your back on whatever it was we had? I dont know whether your mind is just frail or complex., to be able to do this. For some reason it seems that human beings, in this i use myself as the object of experiment are attached to what hurts them.Why? if our mind is soo developed and complex should'nt we automatically learn what is bad or good for us. This is definitely beyond science why people bahave this way, i mean, i doubt it is predestined to feel this way.
Good luck trying to keep up with my thought...there's more where that came from 
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| Well, i can't say that this is the story of my life, because this past year has honestly felt like i've gone though soo much, that i can generalize it as the story of my life. First of all i would like to say that this past month, has the been the most amazing month ever. I thought i met my high school sweetheart, and well truth be told you can never be sure of what you have. Everything seemed perfect, but what i least expected occured, and as much as i would like to change what happened, it is out of my control. Sometimes i just dont understand why things like this occur. I mean first of all, if u know me, u know that I am a good girl, im honest, smart, funny, weird, random at times, but most importantly if i care about someone i do as much as possible to show that person how i feel. Now, its not like i even try to have a boyfried every month, all i want is to have a nice lasting relationship where i can just have fun and be confortable. And after my first boyfriend i told myself that i didnt want to go through that same pain, but you cant control what happens. I met the perfect guy, or so i thought, and everyday i spent with him was honstly like taking a kid to disneyland. I'm a pretty outgoing girl and i could probably have fun just hanging out with friends, but being with this guy was just beyond that. I gave him my all, and although he may not have know that, it was very hard for me to make those sacrifices. I normally dont try to open up my heart like that, but i did. I mean i loved him, and i still do. As much as i can just think of reasons why things turn out they do, i know i wont find a reason, they just happen and it is beyond my control. What even sucks more about this, is that people assume that your young and you are really not in love, so you can easily move on like nothing would have happened. This is one of the hardest things ever, i mean how can love- something so amazing, hurt you so much in the end. And what also hurts is indifference. Moving on and indeffernce are just two horrible conbinations that can just tear me into pieces. When i hear his words saying that what he feels for me , he also feels for someone else that is the worst thing i can bear to hear. I mean dosnt the fact that i gave him my all change anything. I could not have given anymore, and now i ask myself "why did i let myself do this? and why cant i get out of this?" i say why, but i know i would not take back any of those moments. I just wish, only wish.....
to be loved like i love | | |
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