i'm so incredibly lonely. i have a feeling imma grow old alone. i feel an unexplainable cryfest tonight. looks like imma be crying myself to sleep tonight...one of those nights AGAIN!!!

ugggh!! i'm gettin so sick of feeling this way.

i wish some guy would just come, rescue me, then hold me n then tell me that everything will be all right now that hes here.

yea right...but a girl can dream, cant she?

hey y'all!!! ok no im not turning into a redneck. haha so my adventurous saturday was superduper fun!!! i got picked up by ray, jason, mark, and sheeka. we went to caesar's palace to eat at the cheesecake factory. ok so as locals in this great city of ours...we shouldve known to make reservations... especially on a SATURDAY!!! in a restaurant at the STRIP!! yea so it was full. 2 hour waiting. sheeks had to be home by 11 n jason had to be home by midnight. so we left. ate at outback. first time!! so yeah. it wasnt all that bad. it was pretty good. except my steak was 50% fats. i was like "ugggh!! hello i do like my meat!!" the guys looked at laughed at me. it was pretty funny. im such a loser. so our bill was like $100. mark (my future man!! *crossesfingers*) picked up the bill like he said he would. its funny cuz everyone knows he likes me..but im like the only person he hasnt told. so whatever. anywayz....after outback...we dropped sheeks off. and afterward we went to housing developements and the guys got high. i was just standing there watching. they asked if i wanteds to try. at first i was like "umm.idk..." cuz ive never smoked before...so i was kind of nervous. but in the end i though "ok im so proud of myself for coming this far without so much as trying weed or drugs...so i shouldnt do this" so yes!! gemmie is still drug free!! muahahah. *applause* afterwards we were suppose to go to a party. but we had to wait till midnight. so we just went to smith's bought some food cuz the guys had the munchies. its fun to watch 3 guys who r high trying to eat. ewww!! ray was eating and a piece of chocolate came out of his mouth. and i told him so he flicked it and it landed on my foot! yes my foot cuz i was wearing zories. it was disgusting. ive never seen ray fucked up like that before. hes usually the one whos in control of himself. but whatever. so we left and jason went home. and we drove around for like 30 minutes and we finally got a call tellin us that the party was gonna be squeeky clean!! no drinking!! no drugs!! so we were like "wtf!! NEVER invite us to those kinds of parties when its fuckin midnight on a saturday!!" it was funny. so we just ended up driving around the neighborhoods. it was hella funny cuz we kept goin in circles and ray was like "wHOA!! howd we get all the way over here" i was like "omg..." n then i was like "dude just drop me home im so tired" so on our way home i remembered my sis was sleepin over at jenny's house. so we stopped by at like 1 am. haha the girls came out to the car. the guys ate more of their food. then the girls got tired so we left. and then i got home.

oh yea!! i know how to parallel park!! *whoop whoop* im so good i got it down after the instructor taught me how. oh yeah!! im so fuckin good bitches!! im excited!! id rove all the way to north las vegas!! *ghetto!!!!!!* i was like "ive never been here" its the ghettos. we had to pick up this filipino girl there. her house was nice...to bad its in the ghetto. hahah. so while she was driving...oh man!! shes like bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im like "dude!! go its green already" oh man it was funny. forrealz. thank god i wasnt that bad when i first went out. imma be driving a van! *whoop whoop* pick up people in my pimped out car!! hahah

today: plans r im goin to the richest neighborhood in this city!!! gonna go to the gold course and eat at the banquet hall. so excited. oh yea and im KEY Club President. so therefore i had first dibs on going. whats up bitches. more news on how i got elected later...if i feel like it. aite luv ya peeps!!

//edit

heres a of me. dont get scared now!!!

^^thats at school!! ugh!! im in freakin uniform! so lame!!

hey..back again. lets see...

i hung out with 4 guys yesterday. only girl. oh yeah! haha. we went bowling. was kickin butts at first but the guys realized they were losing to a girl so they kicked it up a notch. lol. so i lost. oh well. we went to the mall..yes 4 FOUR 4 guys surrounding me. *whoop whoop* then we went to denvers house. got bored watchin the guys skate. so effin boring. we met up with 2 other guys. boring again. then one of their chick friends came over. boring. she talks too much.

so i have a a lil crush on someone. ok so ive alwayed had a crush on him eversince i got here. hes such a cutie. first thing he notices is my awesome tan. which is weird cuz im already brown...well i was white for a while. lol

him: hey! hows ur summer going?
me: its been good. i just came from cali.
him: thats cool. so that would explain ur nice tan.

so yeah...it was weird but whatever. i wore my new tilt jeans and new billabong shirt. looked cute. we went to the mall n we went to Industrial to get a part for denver's skateboard. i took one of the trucker hats n mark took a cute picture of me. its in my phone now. too bad i cant show it off. is cute. lol. so yeah. my cuzin asks my sister where i am. kinda scared cuz i thought he was gonna call me n get mad at me for being out late. yea hes overprotective like that. well imma go now. laterz!!

hey i'm back...for now anywayz. i'm only writing cuz SIA SIA!!! alwayz on my frickin case about not writing on my xanga n how she doesnt know what ive been up to. so here goes...

i'm in cali for 3 weeks...leaving probably on sunday...depending on whether or not my cuzin is takin us to the car show. i missed sia when she went to LAS freakin VEGAS!! gosh!!! the time im not there. so that sucked. my summer has been great. it started off with a kick butt party. from there...my summer was filled with going out with friends. and especially seeing sheeka a lot. its a good thing too cuz i never see her during the school year. so yeah been sneaking out and all that good stuff. been hanging out at the wash  at like 2 in the morning...driving around vegas...its been fun. hmm...right before i left for cali he and i rekindled our friendship.. so heres how it goes..

one thursday night i get a text from him saying hes gonna disconnect his phone so he can switch to another cellphone company. and that hed text his new number the next day. i was hecka shock!! i mean i was there...on my bed...thinking of him...thinking of what hes doing...how he is.. n then all of a sudden that familiar sound...the text message sound ive set just for him...n then he called me. so since i left vegas he and i have had great conversations. i woke him up today. he had to get ready for his community service thingie. hes been really sweet too...its unbelievable!!its like old times...but not really. lol. its like new start kind of. its just so cute...it makes me wanna reach out n hug him. *sighs* yup he thinks i sound cute when he wakes me up. ok so the story about he n i waking each other up. he use to have to go to work early and he'd have me wake him up. hehehe so from then....we've been waking each other up when we need a wake up call. gosh he sounds so cute too. last night was a funny convo too...

him: i have to wake up early tomorrow...
me: u know...if ur trying to hint me that u wanna go to sleep instead of talkin on the phone all u have to do is just say so
him: *scoffs* see u r mean...
me: i am not mean...i was just trying to be up front about things
him: no u r mean..giving me sass like that. stop being sassy young lady.

ok this might be really odd...but i like it when he calls me young lady. he sounds so damn hot when he says it n i feel all innocent again...like one those things  when u have ur first crush n u get all giggly n nervous yet u like that feeling...ok weird i know but thats how i feel whenever he calls me that. hey its better than baby...right? lol  its like he has authority over me...gosh its so freakin hot!!! ok *calm down hormones* so anywayz yeah...i woke him up today...n he sounded so cute. i love how he sounds when i just woke him up

me: hey...wake up...
him: *groans*....ok
me: [his name here] cmon wake up...
him: mmm i am up...
me: ok then...well i havent slept yet so imma go to sleep...get up n shower now...
him: *groans* *sighs* oook gemmie. thanks. sweet dreams
me: thanks..have fun at the hospital
him: ha ha very funny. k
me: k
him: k
me: umm ok ill let u go. bye
him: talk to u later...

i hate having to say bye to him. its funny how whenever we say we're gettin off the phone it takes us like an hour after that to actually go to sleep. we have our sweet talk before we get off the phone. but its not one of those "no u hang up" "no u hang up" crap. lol no its just we flirt a whole lote more when we're about to get off the phone. i like pretending that im mad cuz his voice changes n then becomes all gentle n stuff.  eh ok enough about this thing...

in other news..

sheeka left for egypt last night. uggh!! i was in the shower when she called. she left me a message that almost made me cry too. she was just walking out the door n just wanted to talk to me before she left. she said shes gonna miss me. gosh i mean her n i saw each other every freakin day this summer. n now this. i never thought her goin to egypt would happen so soon. it seemed like yesterday that she was goin to egypt. oh well...it sucks cuz i left vegas 2 and a half weeks before she left...n when i get back she'll be gone...n she doesnt get back till two weeks later. well it sucks cuz i feel like i just lost my left hip. she was sorta disappointed that i talked to [his name here]. cuz i havent talked to him in like 3 days n i was on a roll of not talkin to him. but i mean shes leaving...who else am i gonna talk to, right?  well imma miss her.

well i gtg now. i hope thats enough update for u SIA!!!