Daily we are given an opportunity in our homes and in our relationships outside the home, to take up offense and hold grudges for seeming wrongs we felt have been done to us. The possibility for conflicts are thrown at us from all directions. We have daily opportunities to get offended at our spouses by their tone of voice, their lack of appreciativeness or their unwillingness to help us with our workload. We don’t have to look far to find countless opportunities to take up offenses.
Each time we are faced with a conflict we have an opportunity to either glorify God or sow to the flesh. When we respond to a conflict in a godly manner we are testifying to the greatness and power of a living God. How you may ask? By showing that it is far better to obey the God we serve than to live for ourselves. Our response testifies to the greatness of the God we serve and others can’t help but take notice.
Yet, when we respond in sinful anger to someone’s sin against us or their criticism, we have brought the enemy right into the midst of that situation. James 3:15 says that where there is strife you’ll find confusion and every evil work.
The battle begins at our thought level. When opportunities arise to be offended, IMMEDIATELY bring the thought into line with Scripture. Put off the old man and his ways and responses, RENEW your MIND with God‘s Word, and PUT ON the godly action. Eph. 4:22-24
So, let’s say for instance that your husband criticizes you for not keeping up with the laundry or doesn’t like the dinner you spent hours preparing. Immediately, you have a choice to make. Are you going to bring glory to God in this situation by receiving his correction or will you fight back and defend yourself?
Prov 15:1 - A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
There is nothing wrong, if done in a gentle, humble spirit to respond to a wrong accusation with the truth if you believe you have clearly done nothing wrong. But, first check your heart to see if you are responding out of an attitude of pride. Consider carefully what the other person is saying. Is there any truth to it? Have you been negligent? Did you do the thing that you are accused of? And even if you did not do it, can you learn something from it? Will defending yourself help the situation or only cause more conflict. There may even be times that you KNOW that you KNOW that you are right. But, you can see by taking a stand for your rights that you are headed for strife. It’s better at this point to gently drop the matter and if absolutely necessary, wait for a better time to talk about it.
Prov 17:14 - The beginning of strife is {like} letting out water, so abandon the quarrel before it breaks out.
Consider our Savior, who being found innocent endured the accusation of evil men without a word to justify Himself. 1 Peter 2
The puritans taught that criticism should be accepted as our dearest friend. Not an easy pill to swallow at the first thought of it. But, think this through. If we can accept criticism as our friend then we are embracing the fact that we are a sinner in need of a Savior. Many times we are blinded to our own sin but others, oftentimes, can see our sin much clearer. Oftentimes, the Lord uses others to correct and admonish us. (Gal. 6:1, Romans 15:14, 1 Thess. 5:14) This should be seen as a gift from the Lord. We do not want to continue in sin and bring dishonor to God, right? Criticism becomes a blessing if it’s received as if from the Lord’s hand, which in reality, nothing comes our way that is not first allowed from God.
You would have no power over me if it were not give to you from above. John 19:10-11
God is first cause in all things. Our lives will be blessed if we can receive criticism as coming directly from His hand. Don’t fear it. Keep your eyes off the person giving the criticism and see it as from God’s hand. Look at it… examine your life and your heart, praying and asking the Lord if there is any truth to it.. And then do what is within your power to change.
Rom 12:18 - If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.
Prov 17:14 -The beginning of strife is {like} letting out water, so abandon the quarrel before it breaks out.
Prov 9:8 - Do not reprove a scoffer, lest he hate you, reprove a wise man, and he will love you.
Prov 12:15 - The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel.
Prov 29:11 - A fool always loses his temper, but a wise man holds it back.
Prov 20:3 - Keeping away from strife is an honor for a man, but any fool will quarrel.
May we live [coram deo] before the face of God!
Georgene
