okay. so maybe i feel a tiny bit like i did get my number two choice, but you know what? you get over that fact and you learn to move on and be happy. some people are meant to be in your life and others are meant to challenge you and just leave a small mark in your life. this time around i`m going to be more cautious and not throw my heart fully into it because lord knows i will just get hurt and get disappointed again if it turns out he`s just another frog prince. yea, no one really knows who or what i am referring to; well maybe the what is apparant, but the who is going to be left to me and him. i really have no complaints though, except maybe that i wish i could let my barriers down more for him like he does for me; but after getting burned by someone else i have no choice but to put my guard up. so yea, that`s the love life status. content, but not fully happy.

i have a lot on my plate this semester. register for cbest is one, but that isn` t til march something or other, i hope i remember to do that when it rolls around. then i totally forgot i had to do fafsa and i was going to get it done today since my liberal studies seminar got cancelled but i realized i didn`t have my parents`  income and all that shiit. blah. then i have to register for summer courses either at dvc or com; i haven`t decided yet which one i`d rather go to but i have to decide soon before the classes get filled. three midterms this week and i am a little bit freaked out considering i paid little attention in my natural history of california class and that`s the first one coming up. but its not my fault the professor is disorganized and the lectures are the same. i mean, at least stay on track so i can take good notes but he can`t even do that. well, let`s hope i get at least a C so i can even out the grade when i take my final in may.

okay, i really shouldn`t even be on here right now considering its midterms and all but you know i love the pressure and it makes me work twice as much when i`m on crunch time.

til next time <3

It`s basically been a month since I`ve been on xanga. What happened over the past year or so? I used to religiously update this damned thing; not that anyone really read it, but I guess I wrote it for my own benefit so that I could see how much I`ve changed since the past years. So much for that idea.

So Thanksgiving has come and gone; and what did I have to thank for? ALOT. I`m thankful for so much in my life; even though it seems I don`t; for my health for instance. I was thinking about that today because I felt a kind of sickly feeling in the back of my throat and I made a mental list to get on that flu shot that everyone fights over around this time of year. I have yet to really come down with a cold, so that`s definitely number on my list-- that I have had good health so far.

Number two? My family of course. Although they are millions of miles away and I still have another 3 or so less weeks to see them, it seems like they are always just right here. [A relief in some ways, a pain in others.] But they have been way supportive of me living on my own out here in Cali; I`m surprised myself sometimes that they actually trust me not to screw things over, or screw over people in the house...HA! Just kidding, really. I don`t even have the energy to really think about that plus the whole, you know what never mind. Back to what and who I`m thankful for this year.

My friends are of course up top on the list; its true that we have had plenty of ups and downs this year already but its because we all live in seperate places and so far away from each other that it was bound to happen sometime. And you know it`s hard to do what we`re doing; last year all we had to do was walk down the hall or right next door and we would be able to just sit and chill and talk. This year we actually have to schedule in time and figure out where we`re going and with who and how everyone is going to get there...its tough. But we`re there for one another [midnight drives to san rafael to "rescue" a friend...] no matter what and even if its just to see each other for an afternoon and then we have to go back to our own lives, then we do it. So I am definitely lucky that I have such a great support system in my life.

I have so much more I am thankful for; finally getting my license so I don`t have to mooch off of Rachel :] a job that, as much as it SUCKS pays enough so that I can have little splurges here and there [and of course meet guys ], i have finally found a major that I can live with [THANK GOD for this one], my grades are hopefully up to par, I`ve survived another year in my life , I`ve got most of my Christmas shopping out of the way..haha. Yea the list has small little things that I am thankful for and I could go on with this for a nice long time but I want to get ready for bed so I`ll end on that note.

Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving; I know I did-- despite the 2 hour drive to get there.

i know i was born in the 80`s and all,

but i draw the line at going to an 80`s club tomorrow night.

It`s been awhile.

You haven`t really missed much, come to think of it. A few birthdays have passed, a night of drunken madness, long hours at work, a failed midterm and another coming this monday. Like I said, nothing too big that anyone has missed out on in my life.

I am single now however. And I`m very much happy that I am. Relationships are a pain in the ass to take care of and the responsibility and the guilt tripping and all that comes with a relationship is too much for me to care about for now. I`m still young and I have my whole life to sit down and settle down with one person; and let me tell you right now: it`s not going to be in the near future. Since the whole breakup and moving on thing, my life has become considerably care- free. I can talk to who I want to talk to without getting guilty. I can stay out with my girlfriends without worrying if he`s going to call and then question why I`m out so late. I mean, not that I ever felt that way that completely, but I guess you`re supposed to be concerned about what your other half thinks. So yea. I`m happy and not looking for anything anytime soon.

Its already the middle of the week and come to think of it, this whole semester seems to be flying by. I`m a little but worried about my grades and my coursework I need to have completed in my liberal studies class since I`m a year behind, but if I have to graduate a year after all my friends; so be it. A girl needs a degree when she can get one. But back to the weekend :] We`re going to take our vikki out to lunch on friday since we can`t celebrate with her on the actual day so that`ll be nice. And then carving pumpkins at the casa that night cause we need to get ready for halloween! Saturday and sunday I have work so not much to say about that, but I have studying to do for my politics midterm to worry about anyway so this weekend won`t be as exciting as hoped.

Ahh well. There are more weekends to come.

Time to head off to the lounge and study some more. I can`t believe how "into" my studying I have become lately. It`s kind of a relief that I`m studying this much as compared to last year; I may actually pull a three- oh this semester if I`m lucky.

YAY for a new season of One Tree Hill tomorrow on the CW :]