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ghstnewyork
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Name: Ning
Gender: Female
Interests: Being a failure. And avoiding my mother.
Expertise: Screwing up everything I do.
Occupation: Legal
Industry: Legal
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
5/11/2002
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| ArmiesAfter three days of itching and scratching, I finally figured out why
my face has been swelling into a red puffy balloon every night. It's
because my favorite cafe, in which I have been studying almost every
day, is host to an army of mosquitos that like to bite only me. So
today, in a moment of positive retaliatory genius, I went to CVS and
bought the most foul-smelling, chemically complex drugstore foundation
they had and smeared it all over my face before I headed for the cafe.
Sure, the mosquitos can still attack me, but only at risk of their own
lives. Now, after four and a half hours at the cafe, the bottom of my
feet are itching like crazy, and my face is breaking out for a whole
different reason. | | |
| ProofI have always believed that all mysteries in life can be solved by mathematics. Last night, I found proof:
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| It's All Been Said“It always fascinated me how people go from loving you madly to nothing
at all, nothing. It hurts so much. When I feel someone is going to
leave me, I have a tendency to break up first before I get to hear the
whole thing. Here it is. One more, one less. Another wasted love story.
I really love this one. When I think that its over, that I’ll never see
him again like this… well yes, I’ll bump into him, we’ll meet our new
boyfriend and girlfriend, act as if we had never been together, then
we’ll slowly think of each other less and less until we forget each
other completely. Almost. Always the same for me. Break up, break down.
Drink up, fool around. Meet one guy, then another, fuck around. Forget
the one and only. Then after a few months of total emptiness start
again to look for true love, desperately look everywhere and after two
years of loneliness meet a new love and swear it is the one, until that
one is gone as well. There’s a moment in life where you can’t recover
any more from another break-up. And even if this person bugs you sixty
percent of the time, well you still can’t live without him. And even if
he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face, well you love
his sneezes more than anyone else’s kisses."
- Julie Delpy as Marion in "2 Days in Paris."
I laughed hysterically when I read this. It's funny because it's true.
It's funny because it is so sad and so true that you have no choice but
to laugh. Sometimes I wonder why I ever bother saying anything at all,
because it seems that everything completely genius has already been
said by somebody else. | | |
| The CatchOnce upon a time, there was a king who commissioned a project. "Find me
a ring," he said, "That will make the saddest person joyful, and the
happiest person weep." His minions traveled far and wide to find such a
ring. Finally, after years of failure, they returned to the kingdom and
bumped into an old man. The old man told them he could make the ring.
He took a plain gold band and inscribed the words: "This too shall
pass."
(Of course I stole this from something I read long ago and make no representations to the accuracy of anything.)
Sometime during my first year of law school, I began reading some
random girl's blog that I was randomly linked to on the internet
somewhere. And for the past year or so, I had been keeping up with her
blog on a pretty regular basis. Now, of course I realize that this may
seem alarmingly stalkerish to any sensible person out there with lives
of their own, but like I said, I'm in law school and I have no life.
Reading about someone, anyone, who don't spend most of their time
either buried under law books, complaining about being buried under law
books, or feeling guilty b/c they're not buried under law books at the
moment is my only connection to the outside world. But today, her blog
stopped. Finito. And even though I had never met this girl, have no
idea where she lives or where she went, I felt a tiny bit...abandoned.
One less thing to distract me from my responsibilities. One more thing
that gets filed into "the past." (I'm going to need additional storage
space for that file soon.) And while I was sitting here staring at my
blank computer screen, I started thinking: people always say that we
never really appreciate something until it's gone. This is probably
true most of the time. But if we do stop and force ourselves to face
the reality that this moment won't last, most likely we will lose our
ability to enjoy it and start worrying about the future. Stupid
Catch-22s. | | |
| CompetitionSince my building is under construction today, I forced myself out of
my pajamas and headed to a cafe to escape the noise and to study for my
Evidence final. After driving 45 minutes through traffic, I arrived at
my destination only to find that I had lugged everything I own in my
giant tote except my Evidence book. Faced with 5:15pm weekday traffic,
I decided to sit back and entertain myself with a large mango green tea
and UsWeekly, while feeling chill and superior to all the other
students cramming for finals around me. Before I even finished one
magazine, however, the pattern of all these gossip stories was becoming
abundantly clear. For every Jennifer Aniston + John Mayer story, there
are photo insets of Bard Pitt + Angelina Jolie + the 10 million babies
they have spawned splattered all over the page. And on the next page,
there is inevitably a time-line history of all the people Jennifer and
Brad have dated since their break-up from way back when. When two
people break up, the focus always seems to be: Who won? Who is looking
hotter? Who found their new bf/gf first? Who has the better new bf/gf?
Amidst all the competition, there is almost no time to mourn the loss
of someone who changed your life, and maybe changed you, and
re-discover yourself again. The pressure to pretty yourself up and go
pluck some decent looking guy off the street and throw him in your bed
is overwhelming. After all, we all seem to have something to prove. But
what exactly is that something? That we can get some? That we're still
desirable to someone, anyone, out there? Shouldn't that go without
saying? | | |
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