Currently Listening Confessions on a Dance Floor By Madonna see related

I can't believe how fast time is passing this fall.  I have been working alot.  The combination of working eight days in a row and working midnights probably has something to do with losing some sense of time.  I have found myself very challenged with work lately, in more ways than I expected.  Most of the challenge has been how I am going to respond to circumstances that are mostly out of my control.  I have come to realize that many times the only thing I have control of is my response to the situation.  Through this process of learning I have experienced some increased stress and fatigue.  I am looking forward to some time off to rest up. 

Thanksgiving is only eight days away.  I have been experiencing some anxiety due to not knowing what my work schedule is going to be past this Sunday.  Thanksgiving is an unusual holiday for me.  It is better for me to travel and not go home.  I went to Boston last year and had an incredible time with a friend from college.  I wanted to return this year but work scheduling has made any preparation for such a trip almost impossible.  I took a leap of faith and purchased a ticket to Boston this week.  When I came to work tonight I found out that I will have the time off that I need for the trip!  Boston here I come...

Currently Listening City of Evil By Avenged Sevenfold see related

I went to the Avenged Sevenfold concert last night and it was awesome!  I find it hard to describe but it was just what I needed, when I needed it.  The concert was at an alternative bar called Pop's.  It was just across the river in IL.  From what I understand it is a shady part of town.  I am thankful to say that I did not experience any problems.  I worry more about my car parked downtown Springfield than last night. 

 On the way to St. Louis I had some quality time with myself in the car.  I had the windows down, the sun roof open, and the music cranked.  I almost overslept and left my apartment a little later than I had planned.  Since my car is running well this week I was able to make up for lost time.  When I arrived I was surprised to find that it was not as busy as I thought it would be.  There were three opening bands and by the time Avenged Sevenfold started the place was full and the craziness began.  I allowed myself to reach a state where I could observe more peacefully.  It was good. 

After the concert I hung around for a while and got to talk to the lead singer from Saosin, Gene.  He looked like a young version of Bon Jovi.  He seemed like a more of a down to earth type of guy than I had expected.  On the way back I was exhausted.  I finally had to pull over at a rest stop and nap.  I had planned on only staying for like 30 minuets.  I slept for an hour and a half!  When I got home I slept great. 

I spoke to my family over the weekend and I found out that my mom had the tests done on here heart and everything came back within normal ranges!  The doctor told her that she needs to have more down time and decrease her stress just to be safe.  I am very thankful for all of the prayers.  I spoke with my sister this weekend as well and her trial date has been extended once again...

Currently Listening Absolution By Muse see related

I think it is time for another entry...  Halloween has come and gone.  I had a great time this weekend.  I participated in some of the festive events on Friday and Saturday night.  I met some new people.  Good times overall.  I feel like I needed to vent some of my stress that has been accumulating.  So where does this leave me now?  As after every highly anticipated event there is some feeling of let down.  I am fighting to not let that evolve into depression... I am loosing a little. 

There is still a possibility of getting to change shifts at work.  This would leave me working float which is a combination of mostly days and evenings.  I am looking forward to this possibility.  I think that I will feel better if I am able to sleep at night.  I have been experiencing trouble sleeping the past couple of weeks.  Besides Ambient, hopefully another cure is in sight!

I purchased my ticket to the Avenged Sevenfold concert today.  I am excited.  The concert is Monday, 11/7, at like 7:30 if anyone is interested. 

Currently Listening City of Evil By Avenged Sevenfold see related

I find that even when I follow what I feel is the right decision, I am left with a sense of disappointment.  It seems that most things in life do not end up as planned.  I have found myself a little down this week, mostly due to things that are beyond my ability to affect.  Yesterday I had a rush of emotions that were hard to separate and completely understand.  Some of my friends from college are in a christian group called Farewell June.  I went to their concert last night at MSU.  Alot of people I knew from college were there.  Many of the people I had not seen since graduation four years ago.  It made me question myself on several levels.  With my own frustrations and insecurities aside, it was great to see the performance.  It was visually and audibly spectacular!  Feel free to check out www.farewelljune.com  

I feel that musically I have been in the process of branching out yet again.  Over the past couple of months I have been listening to Disturbed, Muse, 30 seconds to mars, Story of the year...   I have found another group that I have been checking out, Avenged Sevenfold.  I find their music very interesting.  It is like some form of gothrock.  Maybe it is just because Halloween is getting closer.  Maybe I am just wanting something different.  Maybe I just feel the need to express a little of my own inner darkness. 

I think I am overdue for another trip to the mall!

Thougth I would give a little preview of Avenged Sevenfold's lyrics:

Burn It Down

Jealousy's an ugly word, but you don't seem to care Converse behind my back, but now I'm here Need no one to comply with me though everyone that I defeat Don't need you, f*** camaraderie, this rage will never go away Hatred fuels my blood, I'll burn ya down (you can't help me) One king to watch the horsemen fall, I'll fight 'til the end (I won't help you) I can't trust anyone, see it in my eyes Now I can understand, it's sorrow that feeds your lies You're on my back when the water gets too deep for you to breath A crutch for you that won't always be there Hide in the dark another day, the fear in you is here to stay So get the f*** away from me, and learn to trust the words I say. Hatred fuels my blood, I'll burn ya down (you can't help me) One king to watch the horsemen fall, I'll fight 'til the end (I won't help you) I can't trust anyone, witness and see it in my eyes Now I can understand, put faith in you for the last time It's sorrow that feeds your lies Run from me before I tear you down (be afraid) You chose the wrong side (it feels so right) I won't help you, let you rot away Run towards the light exposing your soul (we won't be there by your side) Salvation's dying (somebody's crying) We're all gone in the end, sweet child we'll miss you No, so far away I can't trust anyone, witness and see it in my eyes Now I can understand, put faith in you for the last time It's sorrow that feeds your lies Falling away, can't turn back time Burn it down anyway.

Currently Listening Blind Melon By Blind Melon see related

Another day another dollar... I'm back at work after taking a nice sebatical.  I had three days (nights actually) off in a row.  I was not sure to do with myself.  I decided to go home and see my family.  Originally I was supposed to go home anyway for my sisters custody hearing.  It was rescheduled again.  I had a good time getting to visit with my family.  We had a cookout and had hotdogs and smores on Saturday night.  It has been quite some time since I have had memories this enjoyable. 

I had a chance to get to spend time with my sister.  I am so proud of how she is doing and what type of person she is becomming.  She has a lot of stress but is happy.  It is nice to see her happy, nice to see my family happy.