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| So, I guess I can update a little more now. I was supposed to do this sooner, but I guess now is better than never. Ok, so here goes:
With Fish Boy, things have pretty much ended. We're friends, but haven't really talked much or studied much together lately. It doesn't help that I've been through all this ridiculous recovery and stuff, but still...there hasn't been much effort on either side. I don't really approve of some of the things he does or the choices he makes...and would rather not be around him when he makes them.
With Robert...well, we're talking again...but more as accquaintances than friends or anything else. It's sad, but it's better than we were before. He wants to come down and go with me to the t.u. game, so I guess I'm trying to find him a sports pass. I don't really know how I'll feel having him back here and in my apartment. But I guess we'll have to see how that goes. He's getting out as soon as Christmas (or it might be as late as March)...he's already talked to his officers and everything...but he's for sure allowed to get out. I guess that's all I cansay about him.
My friends and I are all good. I miss them and my family like crazy! I was supposed to go to Lubbock for the game this weekend, but doctor bills didn't really allow me the $75 it costed to get a ticket. My friends were all pretty bummed. We had been planning on this weekend since the beginning of the summer. I may try to go up there next weekend...depending on if Terry (a guy friend up there) gets his stuff done and if my dad and brother decide to go hunting. If they decide not to go, then I'm going to go home, and Kat said she wanted to go with me. It would be a lot of fun, since she'd finally get to meet Raelyn, Josh and Hillary. But I want to see my Tech friends too...REALLY badly.
Classes are going well. I'm making 3 A's and a B right now...hoping to pull my math up to an A before the end of the semester. I found out from my advisor that I am for sure graduating in May, which is WAY exciting...that's only 6 months away!!! And, I may only have to take 3 classes next semester, which would be wonderful! It all depends on if my advisor can get my classes substituted. Everything keeps making graduation more official. I took my senior pictures 2 weeks ago. I'm SOOO excited to see how they turned out. My parents should be getting them sometime this week I think.
I miss work like crazy too! Susan writes me all the time to update me on things at Woodbridge. I miss seeing and talking to my girls. They used to brighten my days. I can't wait to see them AND the new building next month. AND I get to go to the Christmas party this year. They promised they'd schedule it for sometime AFTER I get home this time, since I didn't get to go last year because of finals. It's going to be a blast...AND a chance to dress up! 
I guess I don't know what else to update you all on other than those things....at least not now...I get kinda braindead at 3:30 in the morning. Not to mention, I need to get some sleep. I've got church in the morning, a choir concert in the afternoon, and French study group right after that...ew! Goodnight for now! | | |
| Wow, it's been a LONG time since I wrote in this. I have a LOT to update you all on. Most importantly, I just had a BIG event happen, so I'll stick to that for now. Thursday night, I had to have an emergency appendectomy...for those of you with confused looks on your faces, that means I had to have my appendix removed ASAP before it burst. I went to bed Thursday morning at 3:30 am after finishing studying for my three tests for Thursday, and I was perfectly fine and healthy. Then, just before 9 am, I woke up crying due to a severe stabbing pain on my right side of my ab area. I called my dad who immediately thought it might be an appendicitis and told me to go to the hospital. Being the stubborn lil girl that I am, I told him no, because I had three tests and would NOT miss them. He told me to go right after my last test, and I agreed. So, I went to my first test, and sufferred through it. I went to choir, and suffered through it as well. After choir, I asked my friend Brad to take my essay test and turn it in to class for me so that I could stay in the choir office and just study there for my math test. After a few minutes, though, I was in so much pain that it brought on tears again. My friends finally talked me into going to the doctor, so I wrote my math prof an email telling her why I wasn't going to be in class for the exam and drove my happy butt to College Station Medical Center. I arrived at about 2:45. We went through LOTS of testing to rule out every other possibility for the cause of my pain. Finally, they did a CT scan on me (which I do NOT like nor do I EVER reccommend that procedure to ANYONE!!!!), and it showed that, for sure, it was an appendicitis, and we needed to get my VERY swollen, VERY irritated appendix out ASAP! This news was given to me at about 7:30. I called my parents and, after packing and everything, they were on their way down here by 8. Kat came to bring my charger and to keep me company till I went in to thr OR, which was wonderful. I don't know what I'd have done without her. My mom was terrified and asked if they would hold off on the surgery till they got down there...it was so cute...but they couldn't wait. By 8:45 I was being rolled off to the operating room. When I got in there, they put me on the OR table and told me to count backwards from 10 while they put the mask on me. I think I made it to 8 before I was out. When I woke up, it was around 11 something, and my mom was calling my name and holding my hand. I was SO happy to see her and my dad. When I looked up and across the room, there was Kat...seriously, what a GREAT friend. Having her there meant the world to me. I was (and still am) in severe pain. They had done a lapriscopic procedure, which meant they made 3 small incisions, one in my bellybutton, one on my right side, and one where they make the incision on women who have C-Sections (this one is the one causing most of the pain). I stayed in the hospital over night, my mom next to me. My dad had to go stay at my apt because there wasn't enough room in the room for another bed, but he came back in the morning. He and my mom bought me flowers, which was really sweet of them. My friend (and Pollard), Carla, came by and brought me flowers too, which made me cry. I think it made her cry a lil too to see me in so much pain, but I was SO glad she came to visit. I didn't leave the hospital till about 6:30 Friday night. We stopped by Walmart to fill my prescription, then went home. We ate dinner, watched some t.v. and they put me to bed (which is a TERRIBLE task, as those of you who have seen how tall my bed is might assume). Yesterday, we watched football, went to lunch at Rudy's BBQ, went grocery shopping, did laundry, I got flowers from my aunt, uncle, and cousins, we watched more football, cooked and ate dinner, and I went to bed by 9:30. I didn't feel too good last night. My mom had made the BEST-SMELLING roast ever, and I couldn't eat more than a few bites...and I had to force those down so that I could take my pills. I don't know what was wrong with me. My mom slept with me last night to make sure I was ok, and I woke up fine this morning. She gave me breakfast in bed and then we got up to hang out with my dad. Then, we went Halloween-costume-shopping, then to Target for some last minute things, came back to the house, cleaned and watched some of the Cowboy game, and then they had to leave. I REALLY wish they could've stayed. It was SO wonderful having them here with me during this whole ordeal. I guess now the only thing I have to worry about is making up my Stat quiz and math test, making it through all my classes without being in terrible pain, making it to my classes ON TIME (it takes me a lil longer to walk now), and taking my French midterm. Other than that, I am worry free. | | |
| Alright, so it's official...he doesn't even care about our friendship...on top of everything he already did, NOW he lies to me again...and he did it with ease. He told me he was going to see his dad for the weekend...but that's a bunch of bullshit...Guess where he is!?!!? Dallas, oh yeah, that's right...Dallas...with that fucking bitch. Whatever...I'm done. Screw trying or waiting for things to get better...I don't even want them to get better. I wish I had never met him... He's not fucking worth all the tears I've cried and continue to cry. Before too long the tears will end...and I'll be over it...It's just going to take some time. I apologize to those of you I have cut out of my life for now. I just don't really trust people right now and don't want to talk to hardly anyone. I'll get in touch with you when I start getting back to normal. | | |
|  Not sure really what to say today...my feelings haven't really changed much...I've simply calmed down somewhat (somewhat in that I don't cry until someone asks me how I've been or how the weekend with him was...then I break down all over again). He called today and tried to apologize, but I let him know it would take much more than an apology this time. This time he went too far. I never thought I'd be dealing with this kind of stuff from him. I guess you never really know anyone... Raelyn, Jess, and I want to go back to the palm reader...it keeps getting creepier every day how on-the-mark she was. This time, we have questions we NEED answered...it isn't just fun and games anymore. I know it probably sounds stupid to those of you who are reading this, but this lady knows her stuff...in DETAIL! It's freaky. Anyway, we're wanting to go back to her sometime next month, so I'm kinda anxious. Ok, enough about that. I don't know what else to say about today...didn't do much...unpacked the rest of my stuff, got my school stuff ready, went to see Kirby at PetStop, and cried a lot more when I had to tell my mom and Hillary the story. My dad called today from work...mom had told him what had happened...he said, "Mom said your heart was hurting pretty badly...I'm sorry baby." It was nice to hear that from him...usually I only get comforting from Mom. It's sad...I never really realize or appreciate how much they care until something like this happens. I don't know what I'd do without my family right now...between my parents and my brother, I've had more support than I could ever ask for. Ok, enough talk for now... | | |
|       Ok, so I think that might about wrap up all the emotions I'm feeling right now...No, maybe I need to add a little skajfahlsgsyhj asdhflkashdfahslgd fazsfdhlkaszd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There, that's a little more like it. I can officially say I hate guys again...and that this one has probably ruined any chances for any guy in the future that wants me to love them...because I probably won't. I don't TRUST guys anymore. I don't CARE about guys anymore. I don't even want to be AROUND guys anymore....except two (Taylor and Fish Boy) that can actually help when things like this happen. My heart is officially through. That's it..The End! I will NOT go through these feelings ever again. And unfortunately for me, I had to lose a good friend out of it too...someone I talked to EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!!!!!! Now, I have to hope that the other people in my life can help me through this and make somewhat whole again. Being in College Station doesn't help either, since the main people I need right now are Raelyn and my mom (and my brother's girlfriend, Hillary, who has been so sweet to me) and they're all in Rockwall. I'm tired...emotionally, mentally, and physically. School hasn't even started yet, and I'm already dreading the semester. I don't know what to do anymore...I have run out of answers. This will take a LONG time to mend, and I don't even know where to start. I don't want to go into details. Just know that Robert is the cause for my crying for nearly an entire day. I guess my palm reader was right...we would stop talking for a while...because of "her"...I just hope the rest is right...Oh well, too bad for him if it doesn't....it's HIS loss this time.
On a bit of a lighter note, Kirby ("Fish Boy") called tonight and asked me to his apartment. I went over there about 11:30 and just recently got home around 3:30. We played video games with his friend, Rob (figures he'd have THAT name), watched a movie together, and talked politics with his roommate, Steven. It was fun...and it took my mind slightly off the situation for a little bit. Now that I'm back home in the scene of the crime, my heart hurts full force again. So I plan on sleeping for a long time tomorrow...maybe till about 4pm...Then Kirby wants me to go see him at PetStop, which I'll more than likely do. Ok, enough said...I'm going to bed. Oh, and P.S.
FUCK YOU, ROBBIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | | |
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