Want to know what strange thoughts have been going through my mind lately?  Well, I'd hate to bore you with them, because they involve biochemistry, biochemistry, microbiology, more biochemistry, and a whole lot of   But feel free to view my lovely handiwork! 

http://bppclub.com/newsletter/bppterm1newsletter.pdf

Go to the last page!  COME TO CLUBBING EVENT!  And make sure to buy your tickets from me - you'll save $2 . 

Haven't had one of these in a while...

WANTED

Big and intimidating guy to ward off weirdos

Job Description

Scare away perverts and low-lives while you accompany me on my shopping “excursions.”

Qualifications

Likes to carry around baseball bats, crowbars, or any other weapons that can inflict concussions.  Will be prepared for A LOT of weirdos.  Smoker preferred — would look more threatening. 

Currently accepting résumés.  Interview required.

MARKUS NASLUND signed my pee chem homework! 

It almost makes me thankful for CHEM 304. 

I had a startling revelation today that I must share with you all.

Science may be hindering mankind.

Yes, I'm sure everybody is saying, "This is nothing new.  Everybody thinks that.  There's the atomic bomb, and biological weapons, and what's up with this cloning business?  Blah Blah Blah...some crap about free trade."  But I'm not talking at that level.  What I'm trying to say is, Science may actually cause human evolution to stagnate.

It seems like mankind is reaching a higher level when we make a new discovery, but think about what these discoveries allow us to do.  They allow us to accomplish tasks faster and with less strength and endurance.  They allow butt-ugly people become super hot babes.  And according to what I heard on the news yesterday, they allow dumb people to ace tests.  So what does this lead to?  Alleles coding for less desirable traits persist in the human gene pool because incompetence can be masked with greater ease.  For those of you who think you're picky when it comes to choosing a "mate," how do you know if that person really is the person you think he/she is? 

So you see, science has effectively removed the selective pressure on the human race.  If selective breeding within ethnic groups didn't exist, we'd all be in a Hardy-Weinberg equilibrium.  While other species continue to adapt to this harsh world to survive, us humans can sit on our asses more and more and live to the age of 86.  While natural selection acts on the genes of other species, humans can continue to accumulate and tolerate deliterious alleles. 

Watch, someday, some animal will come charging at us for breakfast, and we'd be too slow to make it to our hovercrafts to drive away.       

Joanne’s Brain           We are convening here today to address the issue of the declining quality of Joanne’s blogs.  So, let’s open up the topic to the various facets of Joanne.

Joanne’s Ego              I attribute the infrequent and boring entries to Joanne’s dull, boring, no-good life.

Joanne’s Id                 Hear hear!  I say Joanne needs to go out and PARTAY!!!  Alcohol should make Joanne more exciting…she hasn’t had a good drink in a long while. 

Joanne’s Liver           What are you talking about?  Joanne just had a beer today! 

Joanne’s Stomach      Mmmm…Tsingtao at 12pm is GOOD. 

Joanne’s Liver           It’s a shame, I was really enjoying the alcohol-free September. 

Joanne’s Thighs         Me too!  Less calories!  Muahaha.

Joanne’s Superego    I don’t approve of Joanne’s behaviour today.  What was she thinking, drinking before class?

Joanne’s Bladder       Yah, I felt like I was going to burst during BIOC 303!

Joanne’s Brain           Today’s class awesome, no?  I don’t know why people think Dr. Molday is boring…signal transduction is such a cool topic!  Hmm, with less alcohol in September, I thought I would be losing fewer cells, but I don’t see a marked improvement.  Joanne must be sniffing up some weird things in her organic chemistry lab.

Joanne’s Nose           Yah, I think I lost a bunch of hair just last week when she uncorked that diethylamine crap.

Joanne’s Ego              So it’s decided?  We all agree that Joanne should go out and have more fun?

Joanne’s Future         I disagree.  Joanne needs to focus more on her studies if she wants to remain competitive for Medical School admission.

Joanne’s Id                 Joanne’s Future is a fuddy duddy!  MORE FUN!  MORE FUN!

Joanne’s Stomach      This is boring me.  Can we go fill me up now?

Joanne’s Reputation  I second that notion.  Joanne is starting to sound ridiculously stupid talking to her own body parts. 

Joanne’s Future         You know, if Joanne paid half as much attention to her studies as she does to her Stomach…

Joanne’s Stomach      Shut the f*** up.  I’m hungry.