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| my head is pounding. and i want to eat something; something GREEDY.
erica, kat, sal and libby came up here last night. it's always weird when people come to your city, and you meet up with them shitfaced after locking yourself out of the party where everyone is to drunk to realize i'm calling their cell phone to get back in.
we did get into the party though. luckily another group of people were locked out too, or had just arrived, or something. i dont really remember, but we got back in only to find out the keg was dry.
we didn't stay at the party too long, half because this one guy who was dressed like it was easter sunday (bright green pastel dress shirt, dress pants and shoes, tucked in shirt w.belt) was smashing his face against the beerpong cups and the wooden table and even broke this tiny dry/erase board over his skull, and half becuase we needed a full 2 hours* to figure out how to get back to my place. we did get there, finally, and drank some more, chilled, and eventually crashed.
so now i'm feeling like barf. for the second day in a row.
the night before i had some people over from class, the only other guy present was a dude named jim beam. real nice guy. um, we played drinking games, and took shots out of star wars themed glasses.
i'm probably gonna go back to bed or dota now. bye
*erica's estimation
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| The Flaming Lips
Robert Randolph and the Family Band
The Greyboy Allstars
STS9 (sound tribe sector 9)
Yonder Mountain String Band
Bela Fleck and the FLecktones
The Disco Biscuits
Les Claypool
Keller Williams
Zilla
Buckethead
Railroad Earth
ALO (animal liberation orchestra)
Yo Mama's Big Fat Booty Band
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| these are a few of my favorite thingsright before turning 21 my mom hit an unexpected breaking point about my life. she's been freaking out about how my lifestyle is leading me to nothing but drug abuse and dependency. every once in a while she'll include how i think the world is out to get me, and how selfish i am.
in recent news, my mom wants to put me on anti-depressants. she thinks the pills will stop my drug addicted lifestyle and reverse my self-destructive ways.
for some reason i thought clearing my debt, graduating from rock valley with an assoc. and applying for fall at columbia were steps foward. but it feels like after turning 21 my mom had to switch her tactics. no longer is drinking illegal, now it's just self destructive and unhealthy. the only option i have left is to leave. this whole episode is so retarded. if she'd consider how old i am, where i am in my life, and acknowledge where i want to go (and support that, instead of reminding me how awful former mistakes were/are) i think our relationship may not be so...spontaneously emotional.
i realize that my mom (and parents) are NATURALLY worried and want the best for me; i just feel that if my parents would relax things would be different. they want me to make too many decisions right now that, quite frankly, i'm not capable of. unfortuantly & fortuantly i was able to turn to the donahue's to get a clearer, more uplifting point of view of things. my mom makes me question whether or not i'm actually going to make it, because she worries so god damn much, in an unhealthy way.
the truth is, there is a lot to discover yet, about me and my world. it's really difficult to explain (family business that is), but one thing is for sure: me living here is bad...i guess. i'm positive my mom wants me out of the house more than i want to leave. and i was ready to leave, like 6 months ago. the interesting thing about this whole situation is that my mom has had to live with her parents during her college years for a minute, so you'd think she'd be able to offer incite other than condecending remarks. MAYBE even some motivation. i just dont get it.
i got some information from columbia yesterday, and the packet really appealed to me. the school incorporated music, advertising, photography, and other fields i'd like to persue. i got really excited to endulge myself in school work again, but more importantly to get out of the house and put behind the last 2 years of my life.
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