Greetings, Americans!... from Bangkok, Thailand! On the 10th of June I will be off to Shanghai :smile: to see how the renovations on our house is coming along and to visit some buddies! Thank you Amy Arirachiakdj;skhahhdsdn (hehe I don't know how to spell it!) for shopping with me, letting me sleep over, eating RICE w/ me haha, killing bugs, falling asleep during movies, getting our hair & toes done...and Yoyohan for picking me up, dropping me off, watchin movies, takin' pics, hookah, and bringin me to ktown around here!
Long overdue, yet again, for an update. So let me fill you in on my many adventures since I left the States. On the 19th, (when I was supposed to leave CA), Eva Air told me that my flight wasn't confirmed so they asked me to wait for 2 standby flights..And i did..but I didn't get either flight so they sent me back home!
The next night I went back and they upgraded me from business class to FIRST CLASS! woohoo! I got my own bed on the plane, got to sit in the first class lounge while changing flights in Taipei...the lounge had video games to play (too bad it was in Japanese and I couldn't understand so I lost every single game I played haha) and of course yummy taiwanese snacks! And I had my own TV but I didn't watch any TV because I was too engrossed in this book: The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera. If you're a philosophical junkie like me, do yourself a favor and read this book. I promise by the time you are done, you will be bathing in living water and inhaling fresh air. I can't get over how GOOD it is! If you read it, let me know.
Can you believe that in first class they have video games? I played tetris and failed to complete a coupla crossword puzzles and chess games. But, I did win a game of chinese checkers! Hurray for me! :smile: I can't get over how comfy the bed was though. There was this young couple sitting next to me..they were so annoying because they were drunk off of bloody marys and ALL over eachother. And the guy was jammin' to his ipod so loud, the flight attendant asked him to stop. Some people these days...
Well I arrived in Bangkok finally and my mom, her two friends and I had to catch another flight to Koh Samui, an island of Thailand about an hour away. It was so beautiful but I like Phuket better. Too bad Phuket & Phi Phi island are gone 'cuz of the tsunami 
Look what I found!
In Koh Samui, I went Kayaking. Now here's a story. If you don't read anything in my entry,
READ THIS:
Everytime I come to Asia, I have massive diarrhea. Only a little bit comes out each time I excrete, but I have to do it every quarter of an hour! What a pain in the assmar..literally. So, I was kayaking with my mom's friend who barely comprehends the English language. Suddenly I feel horrendous knits & knots in my pelvic area. I stopped rowing and said, "I HAVE TO GO POO POO" Now, just my luck, "POOT POOT" in Thai means "BOAT" and he thought something was wrong with the boat. So he pulls to a random little beach with lots of rocks and checks out the boat. I look at him, shake my head and say, "NO, NO!! I HAVE TO GO POO POO!!" so I squat down and shake my fists in front of my shoulders and he goes "OHHHH! NO HAVE!" ehh, great..I had no choice because the knits & knots were getting kinkier...So I ran behind a random rock just big enough to cover my lower torso and I SHI-SHAT. Nice, fresh, POOP. Not just ordinary poo, for some reason. It was soft, slimy and burgundy red. It wasn't in one piece but it all fell collectively into a nice mound on the sand. I was so relieved to have gotten that out of my system but I felt so bad for polluting the white sandy beach that I covered up my diarrhea with the sand. And...I was afraid to redesign my bathing suit bottoms with a mosaic of white and burgundy shards so I ran into the ocean to wipe my ( Y ). I slid my hand through my crack like a credit card and OMG, it was the nastiest feeling ever. Gooey, warm, JELLY. I waved my hand around in the ocean and climbed back onto the boat. I have a newfound respect for toilet paper.
THE END :)
Did I lose some friends after telling that story? :smile:
Whenever I travel to beautiful, exotic places, I always wish I had someone there to share it with. As in, a significant other but I'm glad that Amy Zuck was able to go with me last yr. It's so amazing. If you get the chance, come to Thailand's islands. It's where The beach w/ Leo DiCaprio & James Bond 007 is filmed. (here is the view from our speedboat)
In Koh Samui, I went to a shooting range with my mom. I shot a 22 and 38, nothing special but surely a huge adrenaline rush. I'm not that bad!...after 20 bullets. HAHA, I saved my sheet. I hit one fair and square in the middle. I think that was my 50th bullet or so. hahah my mom is actually good!
We saw a monkey show which was really cute. They are so intelligent. I want to marry Ross from Friends so we can have a pet monkey. I want one with a red and blue butt. I got to shake hands with the monkey and feed it chips and cookies. :smile: (look below!) They kinda smell though. Oh well but then so do I. hahah jk
I saw more transvestite shows..it's so sad how the men here look better as females than the women do. I did a fair share of shopping but not my usual hefty amount. I bought the best shirt though. It looks like the PUMA logo except it says TUNA. HAHAHHAHAHAH same font and everything. But there is a tuna fish jumping over the "A" instead of a puma jumping over the "A." I just had to get it!! How can you resist the genius behind Asia's bootleg goods?
Bombbb diggdoggaty brazilian BBQ @ zico's! (hello mama, below)
(In case you were wondering, that guy above is the one who thought I said POOT POOT instead of POO POO)
The weekend after, my mom and I took a speedboat and ferry to Koh Chang, another one of Thailand's island. I wouldn't recommend this island for youngins like ourselves. This is more for the elders who want tojust kick off their sandals and sip on coconut juice all day. We stayed at this hotel where the bathroom was OUTDOORS. I refused to use the bathroom after my mom told me she was sweating profusely from 2 min of peeing in the sun. The shower water came out from an elephant head that was mounted on the wall and while you were showering, little gnats and other bugs would crawl on your feet. (the hotel below)
We went to the spa to see if we could find some refuge from this "tropical paradise..." (more like madness to me) but I walked into the sauna and there was a mosquito in there!!! so I freaked out and the lady laughed at me. The thing is though, mosquitos don't like native blood. They like foreign blood. It's like that in any country! They kept swarming around my mom and I and they left her two Thai friends alone... Conclusion of that day: I went to shower after getting a body scrub and a mosquito bit my elbow. And there was a moth nestling in the toilet paper. Oh well, I can't complain...
(loungin' around Koh Samui)
(eating dinner at www.thedomebkk.com) It's at the top of where my mom lives..on the 64th floor. It's such a NICE place. It has a panoramic view of bangkok; It's Breathtaking.
I have another spa story to tell! Yesterday my mom and I went to her spa for an aromatherapy oil massage. We had just eaten dinner and I felt like I needed some time to digest but the appointment was for 8:30 so we had to be there promptly- No time to digest! There I was lying naked, face down on the bed..the masseuse puts a bowl of eucalyptus and orchids for me to smell but...I have a stuffy nose so I can't smell anything! Instead I sucked in my boogers to the pit of my nostrils..It was so loud... And quite embarrasing. She kept asking me if I wanted a tissue but my nose wasn't runny, it was just stuffy.
Ok now back to the lady rubbing oil on my back..man, thai massages are the best but sometimes they apply too much pressure! Everytime she pressed on my back, my face just dug deeper and deeper into the hole in the bed. Then she flipped me onto my back and was massaging my tummy..Suddenly I felt the need to fart. Here was this woman pressing on my tummy pretty forcefully and here I was trying not to emit my bodily toxinogens. Oy, but finally I couldn't take it. I'm in the spa to relax. I'm never going to see this woman again (next time I can request someone else) and who cares, I am the paying customer..and I can make it seem like an "accident." Right then the lady pressed down on my belly again and I let it rip. :smile: Heaven's angels sang for me. I don't even think the masseuse minded. Thai people must do it all the time. (The way Thai people shamelessly pick their boogers EVERYWHERE). Five minutes later I fell asleep for the rest of the massage. :smile: Good times.
Besides that, I'm just coming to work with my mom during the day. It's rainy season here. I think all the pollution makes the rain hard, plump, and viscous. In the morning, I wake up cold from the AC that I refuse to shut off and grab a refreshingly cold bottle of VITAMILK (soymilk mmmm) At night, my mom and I go to the spa (we live for self-indulgence), come home, and watch chinese mob movies. Sometimes we go American: the Godfather, Sopranos, and Goodfellas. To lighten up the mood, we'll sit and watch Friends or Sex & the City after. But she usually falls asleep by then. I love Asia. And I love summer.
I'm enjoying myself...more or less. And I hope you are too! :smile:
Postcards are on their way...if you're going anywhere... ANYWHERE, send me one too! I love postcards!!! :smile: I'm actually waiting for one....:wink:
Mommy & Me! At the Beach in Koh Samui!
Look! I'm a fish! HAHA, I'll leave on that note. Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease!
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WOOHOO! But I'm not looking forward to how much harder next year is going to be. 
