oh so many thoughts, so little time

…Cause I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let it fall like rain, from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry…

< grateful >

for my friends

< shame > < guilt >

after this past weekend

< forgiveness >

hoping you can find this

< patience >

I need this more than ever right now

< stressed >

my life

< freight > < hesitant >

about the outcome of tomorrow

< hope >

what glimmer of it I have left

< sorry >

for what I did

< vulnerable >

to anything and everything

< happy > < joyous >

my best friends are coming

< excited >

for this weekend

< exhausted >

from work and class

< anxious >

thursday needs to get here asap

< stubborn >

most of the time, yes

< torn >

from what I used to be, to what I am now

< judgemental >

Of everyone

< adaptable >

to new things

…Baby baby baby bring me down
I want to be right where you are
Baby baby baby bring me down
You can look me in the eye and break my heart…

if one is not happy

            why do we repeatedly go back to it

yes, I have some of the greatest friends

            but there comes times where

            you also have to stick up for yourself

life is too short

            not to have a good time

            what is holding you back?

I do not drink to get drunk  

            yes, I drink    

            yes, I occasionally get drunk

            but the two don’t coincide all the time

my life is up to me

            I set my own boundaries

im addicted to restaurants

            i.e. chipotle and bww

I love to play volleyball

            in lees summit

            with all my friends

me and my father do not get along very well at all

            then again, who does get along with their parents?

I hate people that take things for granted

            Sometimes, yes, I hate myself

I like going to the lake

            and camping, fishing, and canoeing

Im never afraid to experiment

            I will always try things once

            But trying things over again

            Is a completely different story

I like having time to myself

            It relaxes me

            and I actually get the chance to think about things

I love the movie wedding crashers

            You, me and Dupree is pretty good as well

Guys and I

            Never belong in the same sentence

Im scared to death of things meaningful in life

            yes, rats and feet are scary

            but things like death and failure scare me much more

I hate to be committed to things

            This is probably why I have such a hard time with relationships

I just want to know if your going to always be there for me

            Especially when I need you

I like to go to shows on broadway and live musicals

            yes, im a dork like that

            I think everyone needs to be cultured more in that area

I miss dance

            One day I plan on rehatching that love

The fondest memories I have are irreplaceable

            By no one

I love that I have so much support

            from everyone

sometimes I put others before myself

            this is a downside I have

I hate shopping

            Ironically enough

            I do it all the time

Im always uncertain of what I am doing

            If I have the chance to question myself

            I do

I need someone to show me the way

            And to be aggressive

I really want to visit australia

            I think that would be so awesome

Most people don’t know the real me

            The one that is insecure

            And reserved

            And still a very young girl

Two years ago

            Everything was completely different

            And never in a million years

            Would I think I would be where I am now

            And im loving every minute of it

.this time.
.this place.
.misused.
.mistakes.

good things come in small packages
or so ive been told
but how do you know when these things have come?

 how do you get rid of a stalker?

 lol like for real

getting my hair done on wednesday

for free
isn’t that awesome
special thanks to ashley for that one

 ive got some good old community service to do this week
 yeah its gonna be buckets of fun

i need to get out of town
i cant wait til the next float trip
its gonna be awesome
and if you come with; itll be even better

 lately ive had the urge

 to just listen to rock and country
 weird right?

in like a month ill be in oklahoma again

im actually kind of excited
but I know ill miss a lot of things

 you really don’t realize

 how much you miss someone til your away from them
 I think ive just hit that point with you

I worked a total of 62 hours
just last week
that’s craziness

 yeah this post is really random
 but when am I not?

.too long.
.too late.
.just one chance.
.just one breath.

[ my summer so far ]
[ has included endless amounts of fun ]
[ ive loved every minute of it ]

.although the working 40 hours a week.
.doesnt so much work for me.

[ i went to radius ]
[ last wednesday ]
[ for girls gone wild ]
[ and it was wild ]

.did you know.
.by putting mentos in diet coke.
.you get a geyser shot up into the air.
.it works we tried.

[ im in need of another float trip ]
[ go here and youll see some pics of our last one ]

.im excited to see what happens.
.although the 1:30 am trips to mcdonalds dont really work for me.

[ i miss you ]
[ more than you know ]
[ ill see ya soon hopefully ]

.so quarters doesnt really work.
.especially when its just 2 of you playing.
.cuz you end up completely drunk.

[ all my girls need to get together again ]
[ cuz i havent seen everyone together in awhile ]

.fourth of july is comin up.
.you know what that means.
.if its anything like last year, please help me.

[ i went to wynn twins recital ]
[ sadly, i miss it ]
[ and i loved watching it ]

.i went mini golfing today.
.guess who won?.
.moi.
.and i got two hole in ones in the first two holes.

[ i dont really have much to say ]
[ i was just told to update ]
[ so biznitch...here it is ]