Err. What a day. Good....Bad...I don't even know! School was kind of great in a way. You'd think coming to school on MLK Day would suck MAJORRR....but it doesn't really... Really short classes, an hour lunch...not too shabby... But of course I forgot to turn in my block essay....so thats basically...GAH. && Then Autumn told me some stuff in chem....that kinda uh....erked me a little... And of course that damn fire drill when its like -1000 degrees...niiice. But then we got out 15 minutes early...so I'm not complaining!!

Annnnnnnd then came practice....things were going good, stunts were going...and then OH NO!! i fall on my back from the pyramid....not fun... but I was really impressed that practically like....the entire team tried to take the blame for me hitting the ground. We're finally maturing. How nice!!! So I'm a little sore buuut....it's all good.

A few little things today just made me smile too....I don't know if things are the way I see them...but I think I'd like it this way better...

Basically...I LOVE today... =]

Ugh. Tired as FUCK. What a long day...!

So let's see....last night, went to the basketball game after cheering JV. I was kind of dead. But then of course, Kelly just amused me like only she can!!! (SickNic....AHHH!) That's an LOL right there....

After that, spent the night at Sam's. We messed with SickNic a little mooooreee.....lmao.... didn't expect that one...huh Sam!?!?!?!?? We basically died laughing, then made popcorn, and grabbed our Mt. Dew, Cookie Dough Bites, && Twizzlers and watched American Pie: Band Camp....STIFLER'S LITTLE BROTHER IS SOOOOO CUTE!! lol me and Sam were in total SHOCK with that one!!!! But yeah, good movie, good movie. Fell asleep watching 40 Year Old Virgin after that....

Soooo....we were gonna wake up at umm...6ish?? to get ready for the Varsity competition that we had to be at school for by 8....we were super tired though...and just kind of...turned off the alarm... nice job right there... Next thing we hear is "Sam?? Are you guys gonna get up soon? What time does the bus leave?" "It leaves at 8..." "Well....its uh....7:45...." We LEAPED out of bed, and got ready in about 3 minutes, and Sam's dad sped to school. We ended up getting there at about 7:51?? And weren't even the last people. We felt so cool.....lol what a night/morning...

But now I'm dead tired and have some thinking to do while I sleep about my New Year's Resolutions....Hummm....

Well...today basically felt like a Monday. Listening to speechs 1st hour (Paige's attention getter was possibly the most amazing one I've ever heard!!! It sent shivers!), a Lit. test 3rd hour, && lots o' exam reviews the rest of the day....WOOP for that.

Practice went better than usual....a lotta stuff got changed, and I think we only have like....5 practices left. We're at a decent point....Finished up the words part of our round...Thank God!!!

This weekend....I'm so incredibly excited. Basketball games, hockey game [[?]], then heading to Sam's for the night, and waking up early to watch Varsity compete at Romeo!! Then hopefully headin to Syd's for Saturday for a summer nights reunion!!! EEEE!!! I can't wait!

Soo.....I had retreat today....Which was of course, perrrrty fun!

But it kind of got me rethinking about a lot of the things that have happened to me in the past.....5 years? Yeah...Seems like longer ago now... But when our group leaders had to share stuff about themselves, that got me really thinking about the things I've went through...and I was just sitting there thinking "How the HELL am I still going strong right now?!"

I've been to the effing bottom and back. I've had the world turned against me. I've been used, manipulated, and abused. I've spent nights crying my eyes out. I've been ruined.

Well....I guess that's one of my little secrets...You wouldn't have guessed it, huh?

But I don't know...I've had such a hard time catching up for all the stuff I lost back in the day....I'd rather not get into that....People find me intimidating...I guess after being hurt so badly...it's hard to let anyone new in, or even act like I'm willing to....BUT I AM WILLING. I want to have a completely normal, happy, outgoing, crazy, confident, happy, REAL life. I want to be able to trust people, and be able to be completely real with myself, and everybody else. I got so used to having someone else's opinion as my own, that I just stopped defending my own thoughts.

I think that's why I would never trade in what I have now. No matter how dramatic, loud, obnoxious, stupid, or just all together.....bad things are now, I'm happy with it. I couldn't trade in my friends for anything in the world. You guys always know just what to say.

I love my life. As bad as it can get, that's my final answer. High School burns my ass....in a good way. Get it? Doesn't matter I guess. Because I do, and I'm finally realizing.....I AM HAPPY... for once....forever?

Well...I guess this one is a new year new Gina new xanga...

I'm planning on using this one though. For real. I've noticed that I need a haven where I can just...vent.

I've been soooooo stressed out lately, I just need somewhere. I don't really care if anyone reads this. It's just somewhere for me....that's all I need it for....

But What Not To Wear's on...so I'll be watching THAT for a bit.