A month of MO-ship had passed

A month had passed...

Serious adjustment disorder as a MO this month, consultant asked me on the 2nd week, ' HO or MO 's life is more tough?' i said ' MO, definitely. HOs are physically drained, but MOs are mentally drained. You can forget to bring ur soul to work, but u must not forget to carry ur BRAIN to work.

Nightmares, loss of appetite, anhedonia, frustration everyday ......

On the 4th week, consultant asked me the same Q again, ' MO's life is really more tough than HO' i said ' well, haha, it depends'. Started feeling more familiar with my daily routines, getting more used to medicine.

But still, compared with my collegue, I'm not totally medical minded, I'm not as patient, as competent, and as confident as him...which i really need to learn from him!

Although i'm not good enough at the moment, But i REALLY REALLY REALLY want to improve myself and be a good physician, for my patient's sake, that's the reason why i choose medicine at the end, and give up my hands.

To be Accomplished...

1) Work out!! Work out!! Work out!!!

Phuket resort room with pool access, need to work extremely hard to get rid of my extra pounds before i go ( though everyone said, "no one gonna care about u there")

2) Houseman Handbook

well, at least to finish the whole book before july. ( that's rite, this houseman never read her handbook throughout the year )

3) EQ training

Physician is gentle, calm, and nice all the times ( Basically opposite to what i'm doing everyday), I'm a good physician, i'm a good physician, i'm a good physician, i need to hypnotize myself.........

4) Exam preparation

My revision plan started in may first, however......... haha

Great discovery tonight, that my future working place is actually a .........................!!!!!!!!!!!! ^_^ ||||||

Feeling so upset these days...

From 'the one' to become 'the back up', frustrating and upsetting.... if it is not meant to be my destination, please show me the right path, cos i'm totally lost rite now....

Both physically and mentally exhausted post call, these ppl can really not feel ashame of earning $30K a month by just doing 'assistant's work', but please stop killing my patients!!!!!!!! if it really happens again, I promise that i'll rebel during the last 2 weeks!

First CALL day after my lovely VL

Less depressive than i thought, more cheerful instead. U're very lucky if u are under my care today, haha, cos if u feel any chest discomfort (for any nature and reason), ECG and CARDIAC ENZYME for FREE i promised,

Nothing much had been done during my VL. just 'hea' at home, 'surfing' on net, packing my things, clearing my drawers....and repaying my sleep deficit! Though there's a few 'surprises' out of the mo liu time hahahaha

Realized that i talked less and less during work, (comparing with the old me in my 1st rotation), i think i should start to talk more and to love my work again!

It's 4:45 in the morning, how come i'm writing my xanga entry instead of sleeping! See, it's so lucky to be my patient tonight!

JUSTIN

suddenly discovered my love with the J's (you know what i mean, my dear friend)