Larry and Malcolm both had their check-ups (3-year and 6-month, respectively) on Wednesday.  I really like our pediatrician, Dr. Lambore.  Both boys are doing well, though Malcolm is teething and has a cold and so hasn't been his usual cheery self the past few days, and has a fever.  Anyway, Malcolm surprised us with his weigh in of 20 lbs 6 oz!  His head circumference (47 cm) is off the chart now, but that's not as surprising (Larry's head curve line was an inch above the 97 percentile line; he had the head of a three year old at 18 months).

He's rolling and scooting backwards, and got his first tooth last week!

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We're back upstairs!  My pelvis is (mostly) all better, so I'm sleeping on the second floor for the first time in almost a year!  Slowly, our downstairs is less and less resembling a permanent sleep-over party.

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Can anyone recommend a good pediatric dentist around here?

I know it's been ages since I posted . . . the beginning of the school year is always a very busy time in our family.  Especially now that I'm teaching two totally different classes on Saturday.  In addition to my General Musicianship class (for those who start the program later than elementary school), I now teach the junior high and high school music theory classes.  Big change from teaching 16th rests and 1st & 2nd endings to the 3rd-6th graders!  Added to which, I'm kind of writing the high school curriculum from scratch (the previous teachers didn't leave much for me to go on), so I've been scrambling for material and working out a course sequence.  The challenge with the high school class is that I'm supposed to be preparing them for college entrance exams and auditions!  It's a challenge, but now that I'm getting into a groove, I'm really enjoying it.

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Little Larry has been considering the benefits of growing up.  He tells me, "When I'm a big man like Daddy, I get to do PLUGS."

When Big Larry gets up to get ready for work, he brings Little Larry in to me and we have a cuddle before Daddy says goodbye and we make breakfast.  The other day, as they were coming in, Little Larry said, "I go see Mommy.  I'm her special boy and she hugs me a lot."

Can I love this little guy any more?

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I love fall.  I love wearing jeans and long sleeved shirts.  I love sipping warm drinks and sitting with a blanket over my knees.  I love the smell of the wind this time of year.  I love thinking about the holidays coming up, falling leaves, and snow.  Sorry, Mom, I know we are seasonally opposite.

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Baby Malcolm is growing by the minute.  We go to the doctor for his 6-month appointment at the end of October, and I wouldn't be surprised if he's over 18 pounds by then.  He's already in 6-9 month clothes.

He enjoys being on his belly much more than he used to, but loves most to sit up (when someone is there to hold him up so he doesn't fall over.  He's started to babble - his new favorite sound is "BLAH."

That's all for now.  Larry's up from his nap!

...is not for wimps.

• 12 hours of intense modeling, training, practice, and praise
• 6 successful prompted potty trials
• 3 accidents (but one was "caught in the act," and ended on the potty)
• 2 incidents of self-initated pottying
• 1 terrific husband who did everything for the baby but nurse him all day long
  
• 1 tired mommy

Whew!

I am loving...

~ Malcolm's FAT thighs.  Only cute on little babies, though.  Not so much on me.

~ REAL smiles.  Yes, it's not just gas.

~ Milkface.  You know, when they fall asleep nursing and then smile and it just runs down their cheeks.

~ He knows now when I've left the room and lets me know he's lonely.

~ When Little Larry runs up to us, and hugs his little brother with an "I wuv you, Baby Malken!"

~ Two special boys to kiss and cuddle.

I treasure these days.

Malcolm Duncan Paladin
April 13, 2008
2:39 a.m.
8 lbs., 6 oz.
20 in.

According to Little Larry, Malcolm’s birth story is very simple: “Belly open, baby come out!”

For those of you who like a little more detail, read on...

Saturday (the 12th) had already been a long day by the time we got home that evening.  We had taken a trip to the Midwife Center that afternoon, because I had felt that the baby had moved from transverse, but I wasn’t sure which end was up.  Ann, the midwife on call, was already at the center with a woman in labor, and offered to check me, so down we went.  Elated with the news that our baby was vertex and anterior, we went off to a pizza dinner at Grandma and Grandpa’s.

We got home around 9, got Little Larry in bed, and I settled into bed to do some reading.  Around 9:45, I heard an audible “pop,” and a minute later it was obvious my water had broken.  I was surprised, and a little annoyed that it was nighttime, though still hoping I would get some sleep.  I didn’t get too excited, since I’d only been having my normal Braxton-Hicks contractions up to that point.  I had a few slightly stronger contractions over the next hour and a half as Larry and I packed a few final things, made some phone calls, and prepared to sit at home a while.

At 11:30, things picked up in a hurry.  From practically no contractions, I suddenly had very strong contractions 3 to 5 minutes apart.  I think I totally skipped early labor.  Not wanting to jump to conclusions, I wanted to wait until I’d had contractions for an hour before calling the midwife again, but by midnight it was obvious that it was time to go.  The contractions were 2 or 3 minutes apart, I couldn’t speak during them, and needed Larry by me constantly.  We called Larry’s parents since Phyllis was coming with us to the hospital, we called my mom to come and watch Little Larry, and told the midwife we were on our way.  As soon as Mom and Dad Paladin showed up, we started toward the car - though it took me ten contractions to get out of the kitchen.  Dad stayed behind to watch Little Larry until my mom showed up.

We arrived at the ER entrance to Allegheny General around 1 or so.  In the car, it felt like there was really no break between some of the contractions.  Once we got inside the hospital, the nurse at the admitting desk didn’t even wait for an escort to arrive to take us up - she wheeled me herself up to the 12th floor at a very brisk pace.

As we passed the nurses station in Labor and Delivery, I’m pretty sure I overheard some of the nurses saying “Oh, she’s ready to go!” (I was doing a lot of low moaning at this point to get through the contractions.)  Lori the midwife met us in the labor room, where I changed and used the bathroom.  Since I didn’t really feel like moving, Lori had to persuade me to get on the bed to check my dilation - she said she “didn’t want me to have this baby in the bathroom.”  Once I got on the bed, Lori told me I was dilated to 9 centimeters - I was so relieved to hear that!  After a few routine procedures and some more contractions, Lori said it was time to push!

At this point things get very fuzzy for me, so some of what I’m writing is from what Phyllis and Larry and Lori tell me happened.  I was concentrating very hard on pushing effectively, but I could tell that something was going on.  Apparently, the baby’s heart rate was dropping with each contraction, but recovering between them.  However, at some point the heart rate dropped and stayed down.  It was difficult to tell the difference between my heart rate and the baby’s on the external monitor, so an internal monitor was put in the baby’s scalp, which showed that his heart rate was indeed too low.  The nurse tried pushing my abdomen to the side to try to get his heart rate back up, since I couldn’t roll onto my side.  This worked only temporarily, and Lori ran out of the room to get the doctor. 

When Dr. Yatsuba came in things got very serious.  Dr. Yatsuba attempted to get the baby out with a vacuum extractor while I pushed.  We tried this for two contractions, and then Dr. Yatsuba said it was time to get the OR prepped.  Everyone was rushing around at this point.  They were just about to wheel me out of the room when I had another contraction and Dr. Yatsuba tried one more time with the vacuum (my doctor sister informs me that three tries is the limit).  At that, we were flying down the hallway to the OR.

Things were moving so fast, there was no time for an epidural or even for Larry to be allowed to come with me.  All I remember after leaving the labor room is the large round light over the operating table, the mask coming over my face, and the feeling of being strangled (I was being intubated before I was fully under the general anesthesia).

Afterward, Lori told me that when we got to the OR, everyone was running around and throwing things to get the baby out as quickly as possible.  The atmosphere was very tense.  Everyone breathed a sigh of relief as Malcolm took his first breath and cried.  The time between the moment we left the labor room to the time he was born was less than 10 minutes.  Later, Nancy, another midwife, told us that when they checked the oxygen levels in Malcolm’s cord blood, they were just above the level that could have caused brain damage.  However, Malcolm’s APGARs were 7 and 9, and he was delivered just in time!

I don’t have very clear memories of the next hours - the recollections I do have are of incredible pain, violent tremors, asking repeatedly where the baby was, and of him being brought to me.  I was able to nurse him in the recovery room - this is my clearest memory.  They weren’t going to bring him to me so soon, but I was in so much pain and so confused from the anesthesia that one of the labor nurses thought that holding him would help me to calm down - which apparently worked.  Of course, the morphine and dilotid helped, too.

Over the next few days in the hospital, I began to recover.  My pelvis has recovered much more quickly than from Larry’s birth, which I credit to Lori being very careful not to overextend my hips during pushing.  My experience with delayed lactation with Larry made using the supplemental nursing system much easier.  My milk did come in a day sooner than with Larry (the 5th day instead of the 6th).  Malcolm developed jaundice, and had to spend some time under the bili lights.  We also received a “bili blanket” to use at home, which we have since stopped using since a blood test showed his bilirubin was decreasing.

We finally came home on Thursday, the 17th.  It was a very long day - Phyllis had spent the night with me since Larry was back at work, and Malcolm and I were both discharged in the morning.  However, we were waiting for the bili blanket to be delivered, which took much longer than we expected.  Rather than have them deliver it to our house, I thought that Malcolm would benefit from more time under the bili lights in the hospital while we waited there.  There was some miscommunication with the home care service that brought the bili blanket, and we didn’t leave the hospital until 7:30 that evening!  But I did get to bring home the best birthday present ever.

Since we’ve been home, everyone is doing well.  Malcolm is a very content baby, loves to eat and sleep, and rarely cries.  Little Larry loves his new brother.  He is always saying “Hi, Baby Malcolm!” and wanting to pat his hand or give him a kiss.  He was very intrigued with the isolette in the hospital when Malcolm was under the lights, commenting that there was a “baby in a box” and “baby can’t see!” (Malcolm wore an eyemask while in the isolette).  Larry has been extremely gentle with the baby, and loves to be one of Mama’s “two special boys!”

There is a temptation to feel somewhat cheated by the circumstances surrounding Malcolm’s birth.  Sometimes I feel like I got the rug pulled out from under me.  It’s easy to think that to have gone through labor and pushing, to try so hard and to get so close, only to have a c-section, twice, is just too unfair.

But I choose not to believe the lies of the enemy.  I know that God was present in every circumstance surrounding Malcolm’s birth.  I have a beautiful, healthy son whose life was saved by the very surgery I dreaded.  God doesn’t love me less than other moms and He isn’t trying to punish me.  His ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts (Isaiah 55:9).  I may never know why things happened this way, but I choose to trust that it was God’s best plan for Malcolm and for me.

My husband pointed out that the “bad” circumstance of Larry’s c-section actually produced a good outcome for Malcolm.  If Larry had been a normal birth center birth, we would not have been at the hospital for Malcolm’s birth, and who knows what might have happened to him?  Like the story of Joseph in the Old Testament, God used a circumstance that we thought was bad and turned it into a blessing.

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Thanks to Big Larry for posting the pictures in the previous posts - I will try to upload some newer pictures soon!