Sorry I haven't posted much lately....I have no good news.  Why can't I see food as disgusting?  It's such a temporary satisfaction.  I need the energy so bad though....where else can I get it!?  This weekend I'm going away with my boyfriend to his friends cabin.  Horrible for two reasons....1. I have to wear a swimsuit.....and 2. he'll notice me not eating.  Well, knowing me, I'll eat.  Geez! I suck.  I haven't gained....but I haven't lost.  I've been mildly restricting, but I want to FAST!  5'7".......128........ I want to be 115 (at least) asap .....and then down and down and down.....     

But hey, at least I can work on my tan this weekend....  : ) 

Trying to smile, Jordan

Got in my first accident last night.  It sucked.  The back of my car got it by some crazy lady while I was turning, so it wasn't my fault....but damnit....I love my car.  Optimistically, it could have been a whole lot worse but I'm still shook up about it....

I had some spinach with tiny bit of low cal, low carb dressing for lunch yesterday.  I was on my way to grab some coffee and chill when I got in my accident....and afterwards I just went to bed instead.  So that spinach was it and I feel fine.  Kind of just sick to my stomach about what happened.  I keep thinking about the 'what-if's' and how I could have avoided it....and it's driving me nuts. 

I had an awesome weekend, though.  There was this art fair in uptown that I go to every year...it's awesome.  Except I've been noticing that more and more food tents are added each year instead of art ones.  Americans....pshh.  Haha.  I love art though, so it was fun.  And on Sunday I went to the 'Twin Cities' festival to hear some awesome bands play and Luis Palau speak.  It was sooooo hot out, but all that sweating was good for me, yeah?  Funny how I think of it that way....  hmmm.

Other than that, not much is new.  Weight was still at 127 the last time I checked....but that was a few days ago. 

Hope all is well with you girls.

Much Love....Jordan

Duh, like I didn't post this.  I got some Xenadrine.  I've taken one every morning and afternoon....but the thing is...if I DON'T have some sort of food or non watery liquid (does that make sense??  Like orange juice or milk or something) I feel like I'm gonna puke.  Like my stomach is telling me I'm super hungry....but my throat and whatever feels like I'm so full.  Ya know that feeling?  But I like how much energy it gives me, and I'll let you guys know if I notice a difference.  I'm just hoping it can boost my metabolism.  Does green tea do that?  Or what else does that?  I wish I could just find an everyday schedule with what exactly to have when...pills, supplements, liquids...etc.  I love schedules.  (can't wait for school to start)  

My life has just been so boring lately, I swear.  I mean there's been no change in my weight....which is just depressing.  But on the good side, makes me even more determined and encouraged to fast.  There's been no drama with friends or family or my boyfriend.....which is good in itself....but boring to write about.  Except I keep going back and forth on the whole "i love you" thing.  When I'm with him...there's times I just want to say it....but it's when we're apart that I question it.  It's weird....but with even the slightest question in my mind, I know I can't say it.  What if he says it?  (p.s. he's so saying it first)....and I'm still doubting??....I can't not say it back.  Maybe I do love him and I'm just too scared. (yep, still...after 8 months) Ugh.  My ex boyfriends sure messed with my head and heart.  Damn them!  : ) haha

Alright, well....suppose I should work some.  I can't wait to get outside and run after work today.  It's gorgeous outside!  

I hope you all are smiling today, and are feeling well!

<3, Jordan

Just wanted to apologize for being crabby lately.  I've just been mad at myself and my lack of control.....but I swear I'm doin ok!  Curious, too, any suggestions on diet pills?   I've been hearing about stacker 2's?