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girllookitslexi
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Name: Alexis
Birthday: 12/17/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: cheerleading.....sometimes, tennis, shopping, dancing, swimming, CLUB COCH, STL, my girls CATES, Abbs!, FOX, rick, kristin !!! soccer boys, MUSIC......fall out boy, panic at the disco, coheed, DMB, jack johnson, the academy is, motion city, red hot chili peppers, the used, yellowcard..... umm watching the OC, family guy, MTV, quoting MOVIES, a night at the roxbury, wedding crashers, anything with will farrell, fight club, and finding anything to do in this LAME town!
Expertise: Being a fox......personal trainer......anyone need one?
Message: message me
AIM:  girllookitslexi
Member Since:
3/2/2005
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| sometimes i am really confused.....
am I the person that I want to be..... i want to be someone that people like.....someone who is a good friend, and someone who doesn't judge others but assumes the best in them.....but i know i'm not always that.
I don't think that most of us are who we THINK we are, or who we SHOULD be......our views of ourselves are different than how others view us, and even if we know what we are doing wrong, we are usually afraid to try to break from a certain "group" of friends that make us act that way, or feel like we have to act a certain way to keep up the illusion. what is it that we are scared of? most likely change.....breaking away from the ordinary, or maybe it's that we haven't taken the time to stop and look around and see what we are missing.
to be honest, most people probably think that i am a bitch......and sometimes they are probably right.....but most of my frustration is directed towards my own choices in friends and actions. i wish i gave more chances to the people that REALLY matter; the people that i overlook every single day. im sorry for that.....i want to meet people and make new friends......don't get me wrong, i love my friends to death, but a lot of times i feel like im wasting my time on the people who don't care as much as i think they do.
friends are great but true friends are hard to find......or maybe they are easy to find and we just look in all the wrong places. i just wish people didn't change. change is constant.....nothing is ever the same, but usually it takes a while for us to realize that what we thought had changed, had really been that way all along.....especially with friends. we get caught up in who we think are our true friends, but some of them were only friends because it was convenient......because we didnt feel like taking the time to see who else was out there.
maybe i expect too much out of people, but im so tired of trying to be a good friend or do something good and feeling like i can't do anything right.......
we overlook what we know way too much.....the people that we know might be "fake" to us, but no one does anything about it. i know i do this.....i hang out with too many people that change themselves to impress others. i can't STAND that......be yourself all the time, no matter who you are around. if people are going to put on an act to disguise their PERSONALITY, what else are they doing that is not truthful? despite what people might think, i am not a fake person......i am myself whether you like it or not, so don't judge me before you get to know me.
i could go on with this forever but i'll stop
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