new xanga!!!!!

www.xanga.com/omfg_its_melinda

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meagan was not the anon. im sorry for blaming you darling!

might i just say, this really sucks ya'll...i didnt make the cast for antigone, w/e and im assuming that due to certain spelling issues and issues with life the two anon. messages are probably from meagan,and that makes me sad..but w/e...im here to tell you (meagan) that despite what you may think, i havent told u what has been going on....but not because i dont trust you, i just cant tell anyone...its too painful...too, idk...but to meagan, or whoever it is, if u gonna say something, have the guts to say who you are, otherwise, ur just saying ur a coward..and cowards arent cool..

Dearest Xanga,

I hate myself so much it hurts. i want to disappear, but is that possible? oh how i wish it was, but do i want to cause my family pain?I know i dont but i swear, being me is just awful these days. i cant put my finger on what is making me hurt so much. I dont know why it hurts so bad, but i know it does. writing these feelings down just makes it hurt worse, it used to help. my poor mother, she trys so hard to help  me out, and i really appreciate it but, most of the time, i just hurt worse. i end up spending my nights curled up in a corner, sobbing into a pillow, so no one hears me. I just want my sorrow to go away, its become blatantly obvious that thats not gonna happen. im just moments away from giving it all up. im done with the pain and sufferening, im out...its not like anyone reads this anyone, except for meagan and sometimes cam, so who cares anyway, by the time someone reads this, its all too late anyhow.....but w/e

Love always,

melinda

ok heres my weekend so far....

Friday.:::.

me and meagan go to the spraberry game, we get there an hour late but w/e.....alex was there but w/e i hung out with joey, then we went and babysat anson, until like 3 am...we were acting totally retarded, it was great...we made up a rap song about a dog named winston...haha it was funny, this guy gary kept calling me...lol w/e

Saturday.:::::

got up at 9 to go to a drama club meeeting, that was fun lol then went to softball assesment, broke a blood vessel in my finger but did really good lol....then i went home and took a shower and went to the kell tailgate aprty..where i met nick sarah sarah and cody, and we walked around being total idiots, we went into the courtyard, and this janitor was in there and startedyelling at us and caled the campus police so we ran! !! lol it was sooooo funny....and then we  did some other stupid tings i shall not mention because certain people read my xanga when they shouldnt so.....lol chance, i love youuuu! lol and ur friends! lol call me guys!!

leave comments!

<33,

Melinda