| | It seems Winston Churchill was the first to coin the famous euphemism "black dog" for depression, but since then it's been used extensively. (Google "black dog depression"; lots of hits.)
That black dog has been at my side for many, many years. Several times I've convinced myself that I've left it behind, but I was wrong. It always finds me, and always follows me. Its presence has shaped my life so pervasively that it's been easy for me to lose sight of how huge its effect has been.
As of yesterday, it is no longer the primary black dog in my life. Another black dog now fills that spot:
Her name is Zoe. She is 90 lbs of glossy Lab-Rottweiler mix, she is a 1 1/2 year old rescue, and she is officially an emotional support animal under federal and state disability laws (meaning her place in my life is protected by fair housing and disability statutes). Her future career, once she's trained to IAADP standard, is as my service dog, alleviating the symptoms of my agoraphobia and anxiety.
She has been with me two days and already she's changed my life. She wants to be by my side, my companion, filling in the gaps the other, starving, sucking black dog used to slip through. Working with her and watching how eager she is to please, how mind-bogglingly fast she learns, fills me with a sense of pride, capability and privilege. Every time she looks at me I love her more and she just exudes loving acceptance of me.
My next year or so will be full of work with Zoe. She has so many things to learn, but she's so joyful to learn all of them. This is a wonderful adventure for her, filling her need for a job to occupy her mind -- and it's pretty much a complete change of life for me with more activity and focus than I've had in years.
I'm looking forward to it.
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| | Posted 9/3/2007 1:01 AM - 202 views - 0 comments
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