| How do you get that lonely? How do you hurt that bad?
To make you make the call that having no life at all is
better than the life that you had. How do you feel so
empty? You want to let it all go. How do you get that lonely........and nobody knows
today's going to be a hard day.
RIP AM&NC |
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| PLEASE always remember death is NOT the answer.
it happened again, 9 days after i wrote my xanga entry .. it happened.
RIP Amanda .. you'll be missed. |
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| ok so new years 05 went out with a bang. party was good, idk why i was feeling like shit before. got all kinds of fucked up. had fun, came home and get 2 hours of sleep to wake up feeling like shit.
HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR. |
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| its 8:30 pm on december 31st, and im actually scared for 2006. not trying to contradict myself but i feel as in things ARE going to change, and not for the best. 2005 had its deffinate lows and amazing highs, and it was just a good year overall. im scared bout the 2 juniors diening every year in my school. i cant go through this again, i mentally cant. i hope this year the curse will be broken. i feel like im gonna lose touch with people this year, and im gonna be left alone. i cant be alone, i need secuirty of friends. i dont wanna do anything tonight, besides break down and cry. and one of biggest fears is losing close friends, and it has happened already. and i really miss the friends i've drifted apart from, and they couldnt care less. my family is the only thing i can smile about, they're so good to me.well im gonna be a big girl and get over my fears, and see what 2006 has in store for me.
be safe everyone. |
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| 2006.
so a new year. it's a new start, right? but how can you restart things when absolutely nothing is different. everyone still has the SAME opinion of you, your friends are still the same, you still do the same routine at school/work. so how do we start over? do we complelety change our lives, the way we act, the way we feel. fuck this new year new you bullshit, because everything is still the same. my heart still aches when i think about those that are gone. i'll still smile thinking about 2005 because it was a hell of year. and in 2006 eveything will be the same. |
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