glassjawsh's Xanga

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Sat, 11 Dec 2004 03:33:28 GMT

last night jason schmatz my roomate took a dump in the trash can.....not 2 feet from the bathroom....i think i might miss this place

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Thu, 09 Dec 2004 18:35:58 GMT

been a long time....TOO long i must say.....ive been on this "how much does society suck" kick lately....and lemme just say... A LOT....id like to list all the things that are wrong with the way we live our lives but thatd take far too long and im far too lazy.....

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Tue, 09 Nov 2004 11:19:26 GMT

dude im 3600 dollars in debt.......HARSH

Saturday, October 30, 2004

Sat, 30 Oct 2004 08:43:47 GMT

coy passed out on the toilet....the guys above us threw beer bottles at cars....and there was a HUGE knock down drag out fight across the street.....and i only had 1 beer all night......keg stands for the masses tomorrow.....

something to think about.....the human condition.....is a weak one.....we cannot survive on our own.....we need others approval constantly...while it is true that you can be very strong willed and somewhat self sufficent.....we as people.....NEED a counterpart......someone to listen to us when no one else will.....someone with no hidden agenda's.....someone who at any given moment will forget about their own interests and come rushing to your aide for the simple fact that they cannot STAND to see you unhappy........we are not solatary creatures.......everybody needs somebody.....ya know?

another thing to ponder while i have the time to write it.....you know that feeling you get when you are REALLY into someone? for the sake of labeling and dom being a goofball we'll call it the "OOH AAH" feeling.....the kinda feeling that you get in the pit of your stomach when that person is around and paying attention to you? is that really a healthy feeling? does one NEED that feeling in order to be compatable? does it not cloud ones better judgement? i know this feeling well actually....it was addicting....i would do anything to get it...and i alienated a LOT of people in the name of finding it.....maybe the secret to eternal happiness is less primal "ooh aah" and inate attraction (though DEFINATLY important) and more the EVEN HARDER trait of being intellectually compatable......yeah....more easy to talk to...and less easy to picture them naked.....i dunno...im a confirmed idiot......

last thing......."what if the only reason we die.....is because we accept it....as an inevitability......" think about that next time the bong's passed your way....

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Thu, 28 Oct 2004 13:56:14 GMT

since the last post caused so much havoc....ill try to not be an over emotional prick......for a while......

oh well thank god im not a slut like the rest of the world

J HUH!

Saturday, October 23, 2004

Sat, 23 Oct 2004 08:50:24 GMT

Im sad so im creative again.....

sucks how one is a corrallary to the other.....

it feels like there is 100 pound weight pulling on my heart......

stealing the life from me....beat....by beat

sometimes it makes it so hard to breathe....

the first love....

its fresh....its new.....it swoops you away to highs you never even thought imaginable by the human psyche

it opens your being to a whole new realm of feelings....caring for someone like you've never cared about anything before in your short existance...

its euphoric....its addictive....and you never wanna lose it.....

but inevitably you do.....

you didnt play your cards right......somehow you screwed it up

and it hurts....a lot

every high you had previously felt is inverselly matched by a low.....

and somehow.....you recover.....

you pick your heart up.....bruised, broken, shattered even

and you mend it as best you can.....

you fix it with knowledge

next time.....you tell yourself....youll be more guarded

you wont fall so fast....youl wont jump in so quick....youll find someone who is so perfectly aligned to you that there cannot be a single reason for happiness not to ensue

it takes a loooong time to find them.....

and when you do....you hesitate....you refuse to let yourself fall into the same trap as before......

so you wait....and wait.....and wait

until finally....you slowly allow love to creep back into your soul.....

and suddenly all those feelings rush back again....sending you on the same euphoric rollercoaster as before......

only this time....you tell yourself....you were more careful....theres no way youll be let down....again

which....of course.....makes the fall......that.....much......worse

"my heart is a hand grenade......and she just pulled the pin"

no sleep for sad souls tonight......

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Thu, 21 Oct 2004 06:39:16 GMT

its good to be king.......isnt it? what about being the king of "lets just be friends"? not too pumped about that one....but it seems to be a label thats followed me around my whole life. the ladies man, where do they get off going for the jerk wad whom every other moron on the planet can see is certain doom, while the genuine guys get shelved and fed bullshit like "we're too good of friends" there are 2 fatal hypocrosies going on. 1 the woman has kept the poor bastard around for too long....seriously ladies it is fundamentally impossible for a guy to be good friends with a woman (i mean REALLY good friends with a woman) without him harboring some kinid of sexual/protective desiere towards her. so dont even attempt. secondly FOR GODS SAKE, you cant marry a guy without knowing him all the way through, without know all the ins and outs of a person. You want your husband to be your best friend dont you? so why not cut out the middle man and marry you best friend? sure there are things like attraction that get in the way but its a valid point.......and too all woman who take the attraction thing too seriosuly...THINk ABOUT THIS....a REALLY attractive guy is NOT going to treat you as well as an average joe SOLEY based on the fact that this asshole knows if things go sour he just get another girl to replace you.....where as in the average guys case it could be months....even years before he finds another girl.....so it would only make sense that he'd bust his balls to make you happy....but what do i know....ive only been there a thousand times

still an emo boy, i think ill paint my fingernails black and go listen to some bright eyes......BLEH

Monday, October 04, 2004

Mon, 04 Oct 2004 19:17:51 GMT

Im gonna quit school to focus on saving money for my dream job of opening up a little record shop/coffee shop/place for local bands to play called "the joint" matt (my brother) said he wanted to go in on it with me....lets see...two stupid cool crain brothers in one business venture cannot fail....can it? i think i wanna move to indy next year if dom will have me......then live their for a year and then move out to chicago when matt moves back......all the while working a billion hours a week at menards so that i can save some money....does this sound like a dumb idea? i dont think it does...........

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Wed, 29 Sep 2004 05:12:10 GMT

the way i see it: Im always there when they need me, always listen to their problems, always there to talk to and try and cheer you up or at least make you forget your troubles, and when shit goes down im the first one to offer his shoulder to cry on, and ill be damned if i dont warn them when trouble is on the horizon because i dont ever wanna see them upset
the way they see it: Im annoying, overbearing, selfish, and really have a second agenda, the only reason i look out for them is because i dont want them to leave me, and they should be allowed to make their own mistakes, even though ive been right everytime in the past and there is no reason to think id be wrong again, WHAT the fuck is up with women? I could try to count how many times ive tried to warn them about impending doom and not ONCE have they listened, why do i even try?

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Tue, 28 Sep 2004 08:48:12 GMT

I A M G O I N G T O F A I L O U T O F S C H O O L....i think ive gone completly nocturnal....ive been up till at least 5 am for the past week......and now i have a saturday class complicating things....josh's predicted grades 2 A's 3 F's FAILED OUT OF SCHOOL......talked to my brother today...gonna go visit him out in cali over christmas and spring break....hope dom can come.....she's the only person left who knows how to keep it real anyhow.....time to do laundry at 5 in the morning...UFFF