I would run my
hands along the
smooth edges of those
discarded air ducts
and stare into
the reflection of my
muddled face. As
the blue flower nestled
between the cracks
in the pavement taunted
me; I still
cannot believe that life
can exceed circumstance.

I am not the same.
(Destroy to recreate)

"And the conversation drifted away and away, and Helen's cigarette turned to a spot in the darkness, and the great flats opposite were sown with lighted windows, which vanished and were relit again, and vanished incessantly."

a pop;
a fizz
as the
remna
nts of
a penn
ed pra
yer di
ssolv
e into
the im
agine
d humi
dity o
f a nig
ht unf
ulfil
lled.

                                                                        This is not where I want to be.

In life, we are all in the gutter..
some of us just tend to look up at the stars.

I am not optimistic about the future..
but, I have hope.
And that is the stuff of dreams come true.

"I want to give you whatever you need..
what is it you need?
Is it what I need?
'Cause I want to give you whatever you need..
what is it you need?
Is it within me?"

How long will it last?
With eyes like stars,
and the mass slowly dissipating..
I wonder why I move so fast.
To flicker;
to enchant for a moment..
only to disappear with the passing of day.
Was I watching myself in the sky?
Hoping that,
one day,
when I exhaust this shell,
you will still see me each night..
only to forget with the morning?
Just make me a promise
(and please don't forget)..
when it's time to say goodnight,
and you're scared of what the dawn may bring..
close your eyes and make a wish on me.
And we will see if magic still lingers in a tired heart.

And she'll say:

"But, didn't you know that a blue-eyed girl holds the sea between her ears? That explains her inconstancy, the way she recedes and returns as governed by the hanging of the moon. And she's waiting; you know she's just waiting for a sailor to fall into her ocean. He'll ask her for forever, but she'll just be lying..lying..lying so far away from him each night, as the water laps against those pretty lashes of hers (and he will tell her how each drop reflects the stars). And, you know what? She's afraid; so terribly afraid of drowning in herself..of having him drown with her. But, if he wants her to strip the air from his lungs, she'll do it. Because, for all of her tempestuousness, she longs to be still..to become the sky that she holds each night and make all of his wishes come true. It's a shame..to always be longing for evaporation to take oneself away. Especially because she knows it will never happen, because she could never leave her sailor behind. But, there's always a hope that blood and water will mix into the ethereal..rising up with the wind and joining the firmament that she held such an affinity with. And they could be together for forever, looking down on all of the star-struck lovers and praying that their wishes could come true, as well."

And you will realize just how little they know.

"They say,
'I don't know how to love the right way,
but you make me feel..
you make me feel like I do.'"