si todavia estoy con vida if i could speak a different language, one that no one could understand, i would speak to my bedroom wall everything that i had kept inside since the beginning of me, a so-called man. if i spoke this other language then perhaps i could better express myself when using the one i have trouble with, english, and hopefully then, people will understand the words i had spoken when i had finally finished. it would be great, no better yet, it would be grand for you to get it, to get me, but for now, as i try my hardest to say what i really want to say, no matter how i say it, i know you will not understand. so when i speak to you, know that i am trying my best, even if i come across as mean, or even if i may seem like i'm in a mess— know that the words that i speak of, mean you love and no less. if i could speak a different language, one that is not my own, perhaps then i would be free from the trouble i have with the one i have grown up with, english, and maybe then you'll finally understand me. maybe after some time, when i figure things out, this language that i want to speak of, is the language that you and everyone else since the beginning of man calls, love. 2.22.08 234 |