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Currently Reading In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day: How to Survive and Thrive When Opportunity Roars By Mark Batterson see related

I feel better now.  I really shouldn't try so hard not to cry.  Almost every time I do cry, it's like a new window has been opened, revealing a new perspective on my life's circumstances, when I'm through. 

Today was not very peaceful for me.  I was functioning on approximately four hours sleep and had two of the more difficult final exams of my life.  It's EXTREMELY frustrating to me to put in so much time studying, feel like I have a good grasp on the material, then have NO idea about some of the questions on the exam.  It really makes me sick, almost literally. 

On top of that, I got a voicemail during one of my finals informing me that I did not get the internship I was hoping for this summer.  I was pretty upset about it, to be honest.  I really thought didn't think there was much chance of me not getting the internship after the way the interview went.  While I wasn't looking forward to driving to Jeff City everyday, I did think this internship would probably set me up to get a pretty good HR job after I graduate next May.  I have a reason for why I think I didn't get the job, but I'm not going to share it because it's pretty pretentious.

I think what all my frustrations have boiled down to today is that I have a problem with a high need for achievement, which is basically an issue with pride.  I believe Michael Scott's first rule of business is "play to win."  That's essentially what I do.  I don't like to take on things that I don't think I can win.  I came back to school because I wasn't really achieving anything at my job.  Now, after a year in a topnotch MBA program, it seems the only option I have for the summer is to go back to that same monotonous job.  It's like I've achieved nothing all year.  However, after the cry I realized this isn't true.  I know that, whether or not the fruits are evident in the form of a job, I've achieved a lot since this past August, both academically and in pretty much every other area of my life.  I've even learned through my failures this semester.  I've learned there are things I'm really bad at (quantitative analysis), but there are things I'm really good at, and that's great, and God is going to use those strengths in my life.  Even if I'm not the very best, even if no one even notices what I do achieve, that's not the point, and I'm okay with that.

While I may have had a "case of the Monday's" today, this is actually going to be an AMAZING week.  I have a lot to look forward to:

Dinner with C-Group girls tomorrow night
RADIOHEAD WEDNESDAY NIGHT!!!!!
Lunch with Jeanna Thursday
Thursday and Friday in Shelbina with Rob.  I can't wait to show him the big city!
Graduation parties, hanging out with friends on Saturday, and the list goes on...

Random Encounters

Is there a specific person in your life with whom you have the most random encounters with uncanny frequency?  Why does this happen, and what does it mean?

My random encounter person is my future Finance professor, Dr. Howe.  My first experience with Dr. Howe was during my MBA orientation last August.  He taught a finance module that I was required to attend.  Although I had no idea what he was talking about at the time, I really liked him as a teacher.  I was also particularly intrigued by him as he informed us that he was the sponsor for MU's Ballroom Dancing club. 

After orientation week, I continued to run into him frequently on campus--more than I run in to any other professors.  And sometimes, not even in Cornell.  We would always smile and say 'hi'.  I wasn't really sure if he knew who I was or not.  Then, this March brought the strangest of meetings.  Believe it or not, I ran in to this Finance professor at the True/False Film Fest.  I definitely never thought I would see a professor from the business school at True/False.  Anyway, we were both waiting with Q's to get into a film when we saw each other, and he came over and talked to me and my friend Laura.  Through that conversation we established how we know each other.  He also told me that his Finance class is the least quantitative of all the Finance classes in the MBA program, which immediately sold me on his class as my Finance elective (as if it wasn't awesome enough to have a professor who attends T/F).  The random meetings on campus have continued with frequency since then.  And tonight....

Guess who I see at Hy-Vee!!....Dr. Howe!!!  It absolutely blows my mind.  I told him I was going to be in his class next semester, and we talked about Balsamic vinegar for a bit.  And it was so crazy!  I kind of think he feels the same way about the frequency about our random meetings.  I really want to ask him about it.  I also really want to talk to him about dancing, but I always chicken out.  Next semester, I definitely will. 

But seriously, I feel like there must be a distinct purpose that these random meetings keep happening.  It's just so odd.  Maybe I'm supposed to ask him for dancing lessons.  Who knows?

Is it bad that I picked two of my classes for next semester soley on the fact that I'm a fan of the professor?  Dr. Howe's class is called Management of Financial Institutions.  I'm sure there are topics in Finance that could be more useful to me, but I like Dr. Howe and there's less math, so I picked it.  The other class I'm taking based soley on the professor is Exploring the Digital Globe.  I had Dr. Stam last semester for Management Information Systems.  I really liked him and learned a lot, AND he grades pretty easy.  He's this crazy Dutch guy and he spent this past semester doing research in South Africa.  On top of all that, this class meets from 6-9 on Tuesday nights, and then Dr. Stam and everyone else goes out to Flatbranch.  Amazing.  Now, while it seem like I may not have the best reasons behind the way I'm choosing my classes, I would argue that that's not true.  I've thought about this a lot, and I think I have a really good opportunity to build good relationships with these professors.  I guarantee there are no other professors in the program with whom I can out and dance or go out and drink beer.  Yes, I would say good letters of recommendation are in order.

Currently Reading Off-ramps and On-ramps: Keeping Talented Women on the Road to Success By Sylvia Ann Hewlett see related

As promised...Zoo Day 2008: A Photo Post

  Believe it or not, Zoo Day 2008 really did happen.  I was beginning to believe it wasn't going to happen as everyday last week the forecast for April 19 in St. Louis kept looking worse and worse.  However, it wasn't until about 10:00 p.m. on Friday night that we thought to check the forecast for Kansas City.  Forecast=Gorgeous.  And thus was born, Zoo Day 2008: A KC Adventure.

Now, Rob has a lot of endearing qualities, but one of my current fav's is that he is an expert planner (except when it comes to painting bowls of oranges).  It was only a matter of time after we had changed our destination to KC that Rob had formulated a most excellent agenda for the day which included the Union Station planetarium, lunch, the zoo, dinner, and the art museum.  Of course the agenda had to be subject to change (which it did), but excellent planning nonetheless.  (For more details on Zoo Day 2008 check out Rob's top ten).

Perhaps the most unfortunate event of the day was that we had scarcely made it to Africa when my camera died (about 3/4 of the way through the zoo).  So, I apologize for the obvious lack of lions and giraffes, but here are a few photos from the day.

The planetarium didn't really get a whole lot better than this...but the narrator's overly deliberate personification of the Voyagers and the overall 1989ishness of the whole presentation was most definitely good for several laughs.

Los tigres!

For all of you SBUers who ever debated the existence of such a thing as a bearcat.  Here it is.  In the flesh.

Here is the kangaroo we were most certain had jumped over the barrier of his exhibit.  Rob was ready to alert zoo officials.  But then...

We saw all these guys roaming free behind us.  And we felt kind of stupid.

The meercats were my FAVORITE.  I mean, come on...look at these guys! 

Ummm.....heck yeah, I went down the kids' slide!  Twice.

I'll try and post the other pictures on The Facebook.