becky's posting.

because it makes mike mad.

ha ha.

Best of Xanga Poorness

Lets take a look back into the greatest moments of time completely wasted.

So last night, at about 6 o' clock, I arrived at a softball field, a softball field I have visited many, many times.  It has always been a fun place, a safe place, somewhere that I can just relax and do what I love to do... however, all of that changed last night.

I walked over to the field, and started stretching and warming up my arm, getting ready for a tough game, when I had a funny feeling run over me... a feeling of discomfort, as if something was terribly, terribly wrong.  And- something was wrong... I was in dire need of a bathroom, and luckily, there was a port-o-potty not far away.  As I was coming out of the blue box, feeling much better about life, I looked around, to see everyone running for their lives, seeking the shelter of their cars... so I ran too, I ran like the wind, for the rain was coming down. 

We waited in our cars for about 10 minutes, after which, the rain let up, and we all went back out to finish our pre game doings.  We went out onto the field to get a little practice in, however, after about 5 minutes of that, the wind picked back up, and thunder started to roll in.  Then, it happened... BAM!!!  FLASH!!! Lightning.  When we saw the flash, we all ran back to get our equipment, and then turned to the safety of...  a metal tent.  Ahem... you read right.

So, nine morons are all huddled into this tent... trying to stay dry from the beating rain.  After about 20 seconds, I was soaked to the bone.  The rain was coming down like cats and dogs, the wind was blowing at a good clip, and the thunder and lightning were flashing and popping like the 4th of July.  As all of this was happening, I looked up, to see the tent starting to fly away, so I grabbed on to the framing to keep it in place.

Just for a quick reset of the current happenings... yes I am standing under a metal tent in the middle of a thunderstorm, yes I am holding on to this metal tent, yes I am an idiot.

So after about 10 minutes of this... my dad turns to everyone and says... "you know, before we make our big break, we should probably decide whether or not we'll be meeting at Arby's."...  great idea everyone thought, roast beef was just what we all needed.  So we agreed to meet, and not more than 2 seconds later, it happened.

I looked up, at the field we were to have played our game on, the field I have had so many fond memories of... and as I was looking, I saw what looked like a giant red fireball hit the backstop... this fireball was followed by a tremendous BANG!!!.... during which I felt a surge of electricity run through my hand, down into my body, and out into the ground through my feet.  At about the same time, I blacked out... for how long, I'm not sure, but I think it was just for a couple seconds. 

When I came back to reality, my first thought was... "why am I not dead?"... with this question still unanswered, someone wisely said... "I think we should get out of here.".  So get we did... we ran like we had never run before.  I got to my car, and turned the key the wrong way about 5 times before finally realizing that I was just locking the door.  After safely getting into the car and shutting the door, I stripped my clothes like they were on fire... I'm still not sure why I did that, but after changing into dry clothes, I was at least warmer.

A few minutes later we all met up and Arby's, where long and excited recounts of the story went on for about 2 hours.

When I arrived at home I made what turned out to be my biggest mistake of the night.  Bigger than standing under a metal tent in the middle of a thunderstorm you may ask?  Yes... MUCH bigger than that.  I told my mother.  Oops.  Before I knew it, I was in a hospital waiting room with about 40 other people, all waiting for the big double doors to open, and be chosen.  Well... wait I did, I waited for exactly 1 hour, 59 minutes, and 31 seconds.  After being shuffled into a small ER room, I gave the recount of my story, to  the nurse who had no reply except... "PUT THIS ON", and throwing an old raggity hospital gown at me. 

So, a little confused, I put the gown on.  A few minutes later the doctor came in, and I again recounted the story.  She was in amazement of my experience, and told me I would have to give a urine sample to make sure things were okay.  So, still a little confused, I submitted... at the time thinking the sample was for some important post lightning strike test they had to give... now I am more prone to the thought that they were just checking to see if I was under then influence of drugs.

A few minutes later the nurse came back in to collect my sample, at this time she notified me that I would also be given an EKG, have blood drawn, and be given an IV... she left the room with a smile. 

After about twenty very angry minutes, I was laying in a bed, in my gown, minus a vial of blood, and an IV sticking into my arm.  Surrounding me were my brother, dad, and mom... I felt like I had just fallen victim to the unibomber or something.

Ten minutes after that Bec showed up... I was quite thankful for her... now my parents could leave.  After a long plead from me, a yank from my dad, and a very strong tranquilizer dart, my mother left the room.  So, until about 2 AM, Bec sat faithfully by my bedside, keeping a keen eye on... The Fresh Prince of Bel Aire.

The rest can really be left untold... needless to say, it was a VERY long night, and a VERY long workday 3 hours later.

Okay... story time.  Mostly because I really have nothing better to do right now.

On Wednesday night the guys were all together for our weekly Bible study and basketball game.  We had finished the study, and picked teams for the game.  Big Man was looking quite loafy, so I decided to put him on the opposite team.  As we started the game, things got quite sloppy, no points after the first 5 minutes.  Then, Richie jams his finger on the ball... outside, I was saying... "dude, are you okay? that really hurts, tough break."  But on the inside... "beast... he'll be out of his game for the night... and I dont even have to wait until halftime."

So after a few moments of pitty for the injured baller, we continued.  Then, on the very next time down the floor, he hit another finger.  "UGH" I thought....  "Get this man a sub".  In process of slapping his finger again, he had knocked the ball out of bounds, so Phil quickly inbounded the ball to me, I looked up court, only to see the whiffer and his whole team standing in a circle playing a game of pull my finger.  Not wanting anything to do with that... I started the fast break.  :)  I was quickly called off by Phil, who for some reason thought we should stop to make sure Richie was okay.  So we went into the circle, as my dad was in the middle of his turn at the game.  After my dad was done tugging, we all took a look at a very ugly finger.  Suddenly I didnt think the whiffer was such a girlie man.

After my dad's failed attempt to reset the finger into its proper place, we sent Richie off to our trusty male nurse Jeff...  Jeff took one look at the finger, and said, "I cant do anything with that thing... we need to get you to the hospital."  That might seem pretty bad to some people, but for the whiffer, the hospital is second home.  Also a trip to the hospital is almost a sure IV, and Big Man likes his IV's.

The rest of the story was just passed down from the baller himself, but I still have some things to say about it.  Mainly one big gripe.  I was making plans to go sit in the waiting room with him after our basketball game was done... however, he returned the church before the game was even over.  Quite poor I thought.  I was struck by lightening and sat in the waiting room for 3 hours.  Whiffer gets a little crooked finger, and they rush him in... "GET THIS MAN A BED!!!!  THAT IS THE UGLIEST FINGER I HAVE EVER SEEN!!!!!"  Oh the perks of being a diabetic.... Richie, I told you that dogtag would come in handy sooner or later.

Now his finger looks like a big boston.  Upchucka if you ask me.  Just do me one favor and don't pitty the baller, he's already milking things enough.

Well.... feeling much better.  I have a feeling that the mono was attacking me for quite some time before I finally took the week to rest.  Tomorrow I go to work, and start the wheel rolling back into normal life.

Last night I had a bout with spyware, and spyware won.  It kicked my butt.  5 ads a second... popping up.  The part that really frusterates me is, somehow these people have to be making money.  I just picture loads of crazy old people sitting at their computer wondering why they arent winning millions at online poker, what they will buy with their new loan, where their hot online single is, and how in the world they can earn money by shopping......  "Heeeeeey Vern!!!!  Guess what????   We can buy this nice new water pitcher for 85 dollars... and earn 3 Cashcrazy.com bucks!!!!  This internet thing is the bee's knee's!!!!!!!"  Well guess what Vern.... its a big rip, and my computer paid the price.... I hope youre happy.

Went to Sniders today... he shunned me.  Actually, he shreeked, threw his hood over his head, and said.... "THE STUFFS ON THE TABLE!!!!  AWAY MONO BOY!!!!!"   So away I went.....  thanks for the love.

Boy, its been quite the week.  First, last weekend was Spring Hill.  It was not your normal Spring Hill... no, instead of the usual battles with Snider, and the horrible night plague that he is, I was sick as a stinking dog.  It's ok though, I was with people who love me and will take care of me.... yeah.  I came up a little bit late, thus did not have a chance to reserve any sleeping space, however, because I am so loved, my friends saved me a bed.  This had to be the crappiest bed ever.... oh, and, they put me on the top bunk.  Thanks guys.   All of my roommates had these nice wooden, sturdy beds, and they stuck the sicky on El Squeako.  With every movement, every cough, every breath, the cabin was filled with the sounds of a dying pack of mice...... WEEEEEEKYYYYYY WEEEEEEEEEKYYYYYY WEEEEEEEEEEKYYY!!!!!!!!!  Anyway... I'll just sum up my two nights like this.... snoring, sleep talking, "are phil and josh really on my team?!?!?!", and falling asleep in the bathroom.

The best part of the weekend had to be the fort game.  I probably shouldnt have played, but since when do I ever do what I should?  Game was a treasure hunt, and 5 gaurds were assinged.... Jimmie and I were assigned as treasure hunters.... but where is the fun in doing what you are supposed to?  We both joined the gaurds immediately after the game started.  I paired up with Josh Grove... and off we went.  After about 2 minutes, we stopped Andy, who was just walking around in the woods, doing absolutely nothing.... at least we though.  Until we found out he was the croney of the biggest loon of the night.  While we were talking to Andy, out of the darkness jumps Taylor, right on my back.... I was like.... what the heck????   So I promptly flipped him over, threw him on his stomach and held his arm behind his back, laying on him while I waited for Josh to work over Andy a bit.  We then proceded to work over Taylor as well, and then let him go, out of the goodness of our hearts.  Not more than 5 minutes later, we again came across Taylor just walking down the road.  We talked to him for a bit, then when we pressed him for some information, he turned tail and started running down the middle of the road.  We shined our flashlights on him, and ordered him to stop, which he didnt, a clear break in the rules.  So as Taylor was running through the woods cackling and screaming with glee, I started to move in to the woods, hoping he would run past me.... however, something even better happened, it sounded a lot like this.... "OH YEEEEEAAAAAH!!!!  GAURDS DROOL!!!!!!  I RULE!!!!!!  IM FREE!!!!!  OH YEEEEEEAAAAAH!!!!!!   WAIT!!!!!  AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!   THIS ISNT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  I ran towards the man in dispair..... to find Taylor struggling in the middle of the road with Jimmie.  "Good man Jims",  I thought to myself.  I threw myself into the middle of the tangle, after which, Jimmie ran off.  This confused me a bit.... but oh well, I had Taylor... at least I thought.  He was not taking it easy on a sick man.  I was actually getting a little worried that I may not be able to hold on to him for much longer, when Josh came walking up.  Josh had never looked so handsom.  The fight was over within seconds as Josh took a rest, directly on top of Taylors lower half.  We then picked Taylor up, and started walking him to jail.  About halfway, he started struggling, so we put him down.  His face stuffed in the dirt, and arm behind his back.... with Josh again, taking a much deserved rest, on top of Taylor's knees.  After a few minutes of sitting like that, up walked Phil and Beth.  After a short laugh, we decided that the combination of Phil, Josh and I could easily handle Taylor and bring him finally in to jail.  So we did, and the jailkeeper tied him up.  The 4 of us then left the fort, and parted ways again.  With Josh and I marching through the woods looking for our next arrest.  About 5 minutes later, we heard more joyful yelling.... "OH YEAAAAHHHH!!!!!!  BEAT YOU STUPID GAURDS AGAIN!!!!!!  IN YOUR FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  IM FREE!!!!!!!!!!!  YOU CANT HOLD ME DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   WHO'S THE MAN?!?!?!?!?!!!  IM THE MA.............  AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!  THIS IS NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!   AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!  OOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFF."........  Josh and I quickly ran over to see Taylor again, fallen by Jimmie.  He was sputtering and flopping on the ground.... "ugh.  if you guys didnt have super police who were faster and bigger than me..... then maybe i could win..... ugh.... just take me away."  However, we were not going to just take him away this time.  This time we meant business.  Phil and Beth again followed the sound of the screams, I mean, who wouldnt... Taylor was putting on quite the show.  This time however, Phil went commando and made sure that Taylor wasnt going anywhere.  He used three ropes to form this big complex knott, that grew tighter everytime Nick would mutter the word "Pansy".   Picture Taylor lying there, in the dirt.... all tied up.... calling Phil and pansy.... over, and over again.  During this giant.... "struggle".... came the quote of the night.  Phil leaned over and said:  "Nick, I just want you to know that I really like you, and I think you are a great guy."..... Nick followed with this classic.... "Thats great Phil, cause youre my favorite color pansy."  On that note, I'll end the story, because frankly I cant top that.  That has to go down in the books as the best quote that makes absolutely no sense.... thanks Taylor.